Jaxson shook his head. “You were there, but you didn’t go near him at all. Victor was punished first, and then the rest of us were locked down until he could ‘deal with us,’ as he put it. You were not on his radar for even a second, Mera.”

“Who else would have the power to take my memories like this?” I snapped back. “I’m a freaking wolf shifter—we heal head injuries—so it has to be magic!” I paused, realizing that for the first time, there was new information I hadn’t heard already. “What do you mean deal with us? Has he dealt with us in any way except releasing the stasis?”

Jaxson blinked at me before shaking his head. “Actually, no, and until you mentioned it right now, I didn’t think anything of it…”

My breath started to rattle in and out of my mouth in gasps. “What if I was the part he dealt with? What if it was me?”

Jaxson reached for me, but I stepped out of his way, not wanting to be touched. “Mera,” he said, shaking his head. “I think you need to calm down. I don’t know why you’re stressing so hard on this. Even if you did lose a few months, what does it matter? It’s sixty days. Nothing happened in that time that would impact you, outside of mating to Torin, and you still have the rest of your life with him. If that was the only punishment, then be grateful and move on.”

I shook my head. “You know I can’t. It doesn’t matter how easy that life would be, I cannot let this rest. Someone stole from me, and I want those damn memories back.”

He took another step forward, and I fought the urge to wrap my arms protectively around myself. I’d never been weirded out by naked men before—shifters were always in various states of undress—but ever since I’d “woken” in Torin’s bed, I’d avoided being around the men while naked.

It felt disloyal.

But to whom? Definitely not my “mate,” since the strongest emotion I held for him was hate.

“Why do I hate Torin?”

The question was more for me than Jaxson, but he answered anyway.

“Disregarding the years we didn’t treat you right,” he said shifting uncomfortably, “rejecting a true mate is a near unforgiveable crime. He has a lot of ground to make up if he wants to be worthy of you.” As he stared into the forests that surrounded us, a sigh left him. “You probably don’t remember, but when I found out he was your true mate, I didn’t take it well. I’d thought it would be me. I hoped it would be, and then no one could keep us apart, not even my father—”

My bitter laugh interrupted him. “You keep making these little comments. Alluding to Dean Heathcliff being the sole reason that we’re no longer best friends. Shifter up and own your fuckups, Jax! You treated me like shit. You hurt and ignored and bullied me. Dean, the evil fuck, wasn’t important to me. You were. And you let me down.”

His curse was loud enough to echo through the forest and slam back into us. “I was a damn kid! My father is a brutal, unforgiving sort of man. I did the best I could. If I was tormenting you, then he wouldn’t be, and trust me, his hit is a lot fucking harder than mine.”

My next lament died on my tongue. I’d heard lots of rumors about how Dean treated his family, but this was the first time Jaxson had put it so bluntly. Still, it had been too many years. Too many hurts. My pain was buried deep.

“You should have come up with a better way,” I said softly, my voice vibrating with the hurt that was always lingering below the surface. “We could have done it together. If I’d known what was happening to you, I would have tried to understand. You cut me out in all ways, and I can’t forgive you.”

I turned to walk away since I had a long hike back without my wolf’s speed.

“Mera!” Jaxson called, and I paused but didn’t turn. “Let’s go back to what we used to be, please. I know you’re hurt, but you have a forgiving heart.”

His words burned like acid in my soul. “Sorry, Jax.” I still didn’t turn. “You don’t know me as well as you think. I’m not really the forgive-and-forget type.”

Not anymore.

This time when I walked away, he didn’t stop me.

3

The wolf mixer was in full swing by the time I made it to my apartment, got dressed in the only half-decent outfit I had, and returned to the pack lands. Torin’s house was filled with alphas from many of the other packs, as well as a decent selection of single shifters who were all hoping to find a true mate tonight.

If only they knew.

Despite my reluctance in having anything to do with being alpha-mate, Torin had assigned me more than a few tasks in relation to this little soirée. Most of them involved liaising with other packs’ alpha-mates in regards to the guest list, décor, and food. I’d ignored every request to assist, of course, and I had no idea who’d stepped in to take up the slack. Probably Sisily. I sensed she was still fucking my mate—oh, sorry, taking care of his needs because his mate was neglecting him, and I really wasn’t mad about it.

As long as someone kept him busy, it didn’t have to be me.

My silver sequined dress swished around my boring silver heels as I descended the stairs into the ballroom. It was awash in soft lighting, with strands of fairy lights above and candles on the ground level. Everything was tastefully done, with gold and silver as the main theme.

Heavy gold curtains were pulled back on the multi-pane windows, showcasing spectacular views of the pack lands, along with an outdoor area for more of the packs to mingle in. We would literally have so many here tonight—the meeting of the decade—that not all of them would fit inside our massive ballroom.

“Mera,” Torin said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a perfectly fitted black tux. He ran a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head as his awestruck gaze lifted to meet mine. “You look absolutely stunning.”

I forced a smile, glancing down at my outfit. The dress had been my mother’s; it had sat unused in her wardrobe after my dad had been killed, since she’d had no more balls or mixers to go to. It was modestly cut, with a skinny-strapped top that fell into a slinky silver length, trailing longer behind than at the front. Not really my style, but for this, it worked.

“Thank you,” I told him, wishing he would stop looking at me the way he was. Despite the connection I felt between us, his heated stare made my skin crawl.