It sounded even stupider said out loud, and I briefly considered learning to keep the weird thoughts inside my mind, where they belonged.

Jaxson dropped a heavy hand on my shoulder. “You’re my pack, Mera. You always have been, and if fate wasn’t such a bitch, you’d have been my mate too. I made so many fucking mistakes in how I treated you, but I promise that in my own way, my moronic adolescent brain thought it was keeping you safe from my dad.”

I shrugged him off. “Why haven’t you killed Dean? I mean, after everything he did to you.” And me, if I were being honest. Actually… “I should kill Dean. I’m almost certain that he needs to die for the future safety of myself and other pack members.”

Jaxson shook his head, nudging me to keep walking. “While that’s very true, you know you can’t kill him without reason. You’ll have half the pack turning on you.”

“I could challenge him.”

He nudged me again, and if he did it one more time, I was going to practice my murder skills on the son as a warmup for the father.

“You can only challenge for a higher position, and he’s beneath you,” Jaxson reminded me.

Ah, fuck. Jaxson was right, quoting a rule that had been set in place to protect the weaker pack members. I had no issue with the rule, but it did mean my hands were tied when it came to killing Dean without provocation. And he’d be very careful about upsetting me, now that I was alpha-mate.

I’d think of something, though, or more likely, the former beta would screw up and let his evil side out again. Then I’d have full rights to rip his head from his body.

It was really the least he deserved.

5

By the time we made it back to Torma, we weren’t talking, but somehow I felt closer to Jaxson than I had in a long time. His offer to help with both Simone and my memory loss was apparently the olive branch I’d been waiting for, to step forward and try to rebuild a semblance of a friendship.

It would take time. Years, if I knew myself at all, but a step forward was a step in the right direction.

Chatter and laughter blasted into us as we arrived on the edge of the cleared pack lands. The wolf mixer was still in full force. My palm itched again, and I rubbed it against the tattered remains of my dress, forcing myself not to think about this weird new development. Had I hit some undiscovered species of plant that shifters were allergic to?

I mean, odder shit had happened, right?

As we stepped into the light, no one even glanced twice at us emerging a little beaten up and dirty. They’d just assume I’d half-shifted and busted my dress, and that we’d been running through the forest. Shifters were often in a state of disarray. Such was the nature of the beast.

“I’m probably going to head out,” I said to Jaxson, rubbing my palm against the torn side of my dress again. “I think I’ve had my fill of duty for the night.”

Before he could reply, Torin appeared.

I must have let out an annoyed groan under my breath because Jaxson shot me a warning look. Yeah, it probably wasn’t normal to detest the sight of your true mate, but despite the connection I felt through our bond, most of me hated his guts. Our mystical bond was not Torin’s ticket to a life with me, especially not after the way he’d treated me. Now he had to earn my body, soul, and love.

No woman should settle for less than that.

“Where have you two been?” Torin asked, and his words were clipped as he ran his eyes over what remained of my dress and the traces of blood on it.

“For a run—”

“None of your fucking business,” I snapped over the top of Jaxson, who, as always, thought he needed to baby his alpha. “You don’t own me. Ask me a question in that tone again and I’ll rip your face off… and smile about it.”

Torin’s eyes darkened, and unfortunately, my words had the opposite effect of my intentions. He took a step closer, and I could tell he wanted to drag me by my hair into his room and finally divest me of my virginity. Once again treating me like I was a damn possession he owned.

“I like your fire, Mera,” he rumbled, his eyes wolfing out as he reached for me.

Ducking under his hand, I shot my fist straight into his gut, sending him back more than a couple of steps. “You don’t get to touch me.” My words were soft and cold, and I knew we were drawing a lot of attention. Not a surprise, since I’d just punched the alpha, doing exactly what Jaxson had warned me against.

I was too far gone to stop now, though. “I’m not your property, and true mate or not, you haven’t earned the right to me or my body. Remember that.”

Spinning on one bare foot, I stormed away, not glancing back once, despite the gaze I felt burning along my spine. Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about whatever Torin was planning because I was distracted by another flutter in my chest and the itching on my palm.

At this rate, I was going to tear my skin off before I got back to my crappy old apartment—

“You’re hurting him, you know.” Sisily’s voice jerked me out of my angry march when I was about halfway into town.

How in all the fucks had she crept up on me like that? I really needed to get out of my own head before I got ambushed; I was rusty at protecting myself these days. One slip up could be a death sentence, and I would not give them the satisfaction.

“Excuse me?”

Even a moron with half a brain knew that “excuse me” delivered in that tone really meant, What the actual fuck did you just say to me?

Sisily though, who was apparently swimming in the less-than-half-a-brain category, took me literally, speaking up. “I said you’re hurting him. Torin. Making him look weak in front of everyone.”

I was laughing before she even finished, gut-hurting laughter that in no way spoke of me being amused. Darkness descended over my vision; Sisily had picked a really bad time to bring this shit up. She looked taken aback as the laughter died in my throat and I took a step toward her. Whatever she saw in my face had her own falling into terrified lines, and with a brief squeak, she turned and sprinted away like her tail was on fire.

I wanted to follow her, but again, I couldn’t hurt a lesser member of the pack without reason, and her trying to defend her alpha was no reason. Her words had hit me deep, though, bringing up every memory of how much Torin used to hurt me, with his harsh words and heavy hands, with his dismissiveness and lack of protection against his father. Everyone in this pack had turned a blind eye to Victor’s treatment of my mom and me.