As much as I wanted to eavesdrop on the conversation that Sassy was having in front of me, my brother had decided to start yapping right then. What a useless ass.

"Is that drool?" he mumbled.

"No, it's Kool-Aid, dumbass," I snickered, brushing my hand over the short ends of his hair that had just barely began to curl after more than a month.

Eli smiled against my leg, making a noise that sounded like a low, sleepy chuckle. "Drink it later, then." He blinked twice before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

Gross.

The faint conversation from the seat in front of ours made me stop breathing so I could listen better. What's funny was that everyone else awake in the van had lowered their voices when Sacha started talking. It had only taken me a few weeks to learn that these guys were worse at gossiping than teenage girls. Even though they tried to play off their interest, they ate up anything that caught their attention.

Like the time Isaiah got propositioned by a fan, who offered him five hundred dollars to sleep with her.

Or the time that a fan had asked my brother, Gordo and Miles if he could lick their shoes.

Then there was the time that Mason—

There were a lot of things that had happened that the guys had been all too excited to talk about.

Obviously, there was something about this conversation that caught their attention.

"I already told you… Lizzy, I'm not changing my mind…" Sacha spoke into the receiver. Lizzy? The fuck? Before I could ponder it much longer, he kept going. “No, there's no one else. I don't want to get back together because it's my choice. Just like you decided you didn't want to be together, I don't want to pick up where we left off…" I felt like I was being stabbed as he talked. "I care about you. You know that. You mean a lot to me, but that doesn't mean I want to be with you. I'm done explaining this to you over and over again."

I could see his reflection in the glass. His eyes were closed and his forehead was pressed against the cool window. My heart was beating frantically even though I know it shouldn't be. Nothing that Sacha was saying was technically wrong. Technically. It was his choice that he didn't want to get back together with his ex. He did care about her. I mean, they'd been together for a while.

But—

But—

But—

I felt sick. Sacha cared about me too. I knew he did. Every vessel in my blood knew it. But maybe that's why he hadn't put more of a move on me? Because he didn't want to be tied down to anyone? A simple kiss wasn’t a promise ring or anything. It didn’t have to mean anything romantic. And… there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I knew that.

My realization and acceptance from the night before was strangling. I was in love with a man who maybe loved me according to others, but maybe didn't love me the way that I wanted. Maybe he didn’t want a relationship. I had men in my life that loved me in a platonic way. What was one more? And why did I feel betrayed that he still cared about Ariel Number Two? Sacha was a nice guy. Hell, he was the nicest guy I had ever met. It was probably just in his system to care for people, but…

I reached over Eli's big body to grab the backpack he had on his lap, and fished out his expensive studio earphones, plugging them into my phone as quickly as I could as I zoned out the man on the phone. Flicking through the albums I had saved in my library, I chose the one at the top of the list and raised the volume as loud as tolerable.

Closing my eyes, I let my head drop back to the seat and put a hand on each of the guys beside me.

Chapter Twenty-One

I slept my way to Dubai, and somehow managed to make it to London without speaking more than twenty words to Sacha. Most importantly, I didn’t fall asleep on his legs and he didn’t nap on mine. When we caught our connecting flight, it turned out that he was sharing a seat with a stranger so I sat with my brother and Gordo instead. Gordo—who had heard the same conversation I had—didn't say a word. It was the red Starburst he gave me later on that really showed his sympathy.