Fuck!

I nodded at my old friend but managed to hold back the weak smile that would give me away. “Thanks for the warning.”

Yeah, I held my breath as I walked into the bunk area. My heart pounded and this knot formed in my throat…

His bunk was above mine. His bunk was above mine.

But he wasn’t there.

I heard the voices before I noticed that the door that led to the back room was wide open, and I saw it. Saw them.

Sacha was sitting on the bench seat directly in front of the door with his arm over the top of a girl’s shoulders. Their temples were touching. And they were whispering to each other.

In the blink of an eye, my chest began to ache again, and even though I didn’t want to blame it on the intimacy of the moment I’d walked in on, I knew it was. There’s no way to even begin to describe the feeling that flooded my chest before it decided to swim along my spine, shoulders and finally my skull. It was as if I wanted to throw up at the same time a migraine set up shop in my cranium.

I took a step forward closer to my bunk, fighting the nausea in my gut.

“We can’t do this here…” he said just barely loud enough for me to hear.

Oh, fucking hell.

My head pounded. My stomach was in a knot. Tears swam in my eyes for all of a split second before I slipped my upper body into my bunk, snatched my phone from the corner I always left it, and came back out, smashing my elbow into the wooden frame that connected all of the beds. Did it hurt like hell? Yeah, but I didn’t even have it in me to cuss because I’d made so much noise, and I needed to get the hell off the bus as soon as possible. Two minutes ago, preferably.

What the hell was wrong with me?

My heart thumped erratically as I walked by Gordo on the way out; my fists had begun shaking. I recognized the feeling manifesting itself through my body all too well.

I was jealous. Horribly, stupidly, pathetically jealous.

Jealous of the redhead who was sitting side by side with Sacha. With his arm around her. Touching her face with his.

I mean, they could have been friends, but I didn’t want to be naïve either. Mason and I were closer than best friends, and we didn’t really have physical boundaries with each other, but we never sat together, whispering. Usually we were picking on one another, not cuddling and crap. There was an intimacy to the moment that spoke volumes.

It made me want to cry.

But I wouldn’t do it.

Sacha was my friend. I shouldn’t have any feelings for him, much less possessive feelings, but I did. They were just buried deep down in the back of my head, obviously, because I’d been swimming in a river called Da Nile.

I liked him. I liked him a lot, apparently, if the awful, shit emotions that were making a snack out of my nervous system were correct. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I had almost forgotten Eli and Mason might be waiting for me when I made it to the side of the venue building, but they were there, standing around looking at their phones. Before they could see me, I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand to make sure my body wasn’t being a damn traitor and tried to get my facial muscles under control.

This wasn’t the time to get upset. Hell, it was never the time to get upset over Sacha spending time with a girl. On the bus. With his arm around her.

I was not going to get upset. I was not going to get upset, damn it.

I’d heard all kinds of stories over the years of band members screwing around with their fans. Hell, Mason had said something about having sex with some girl behind the bus in Las Vegas a few days ago. Every single time I’d gone on tour with Ghost Orchid, all of the monsters would have some kind of one-on-one “interaction” with their fans, even Gordo. That’s what single guys did. And some not-so-single guys that doubled as unfaithful pieces of crap.