She spits out the last words and walks off the stage, as I watch the start of our new era fade away before it could even begin.

Twelve

“Everybody hold on to your loved ones! It’s about to get wild!”

I nearly fly out of the Jeep as we go hurtling along the dirt roads through the Jeju mountains. The rough, rolling terrain is almost as up and down as my life has been lately.

After the mob at the NEXT BOYZ fan signing and the dress rehearsal on Sunday, I could barely bring myself to even think about training. By some miracle of late-night studying, though, I qualified for the botany field trip, along with Juhyun and Hyeri. So instead, I’ve been whisked away to the beautiful island of Jeju to marvel at the wonders of nature.…

And apparently, fear for my life.

“You’re right. That was… ahh… bumpy,” I say, laughing nervously at the driver next to me. Juhyun, Daeho, and Hyeri are sitting in the back seat, clutching the car handles.

The driver bursts into hearty laughter. “That wasn’t the bumpy part. Here we go!”

Okay, so maybe this ride is more up and down than my life. In fact, it probably makes my life look like a kiddie ride at Lotte World, spinning around in carefully engineered circles. I scream as we go racing down the road. The twins shriek in the back, totally exhilarated. Daeho looks like he’s about to throw up.

The car swerves sharply to the left, and Juhyun bounces out of her seat, both her legs splaying up into the air, and lands right across Daeho’s lap. I look into the rearview mirror and see Hyeri’s face fall as Daeho blushes furiously. Juhyun giggles, rolling her legs back over to her seat.

“This ride is wild!” she shouts.

“Certainly the wildest,” Daeho agrees, red to the tips of his ears.

Hyeri leans forward to the driver. “Ahjussi, you could go a little slower, you know.”

“Don’t you worry. I’m a veteran driver,” he responds cheerfully. “Now, look to the left, everyone. Horses!”

I catch Hyeri’s eye in the mirror and give her a sympathetic smile. She sighs and stares out the Jeep, resting her chin in her palm. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I fish it out to see a new Kakao message from Jason. My own face goes as red as Daeho’s.

Jason: Enjoying island life?

He adds a sticker of Ryan, the Kakao character of a lion without a mane, sitting on a beach chair and flipping on a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses. I grin. I happen to have the same pair of sunglasses perched on top of my head right now.

I snap a photo of the wild horses we drive by. They look content, flicking their tails as they munch on an overgrown field of grass and wildflowers.

Me: The best, obviously. Meet my new friends.

Jason: Jealous. Your friends are way cooler than mine.

He sends me a picture of Minjun making a peace sign as he fits an entire burger into his mouth. I laugh. Jason and I have been texting more since we exchanged numbers. I keep thinking I should stop, I should keep my distance, I should not turn into the next cautionary tale the DB rumor mill uses to scare newbies about how dating will get you kicked out of the program, and more than anything, I should not text back that Apeach emoji right now.…

But everyone knows that when you have the perfect Kakao emoji to send, you have to send it. And besides, texting isn’t dating. It’s harmless. It’s meaningless.

I press my phone against my chest and smile as we bounce along the road.

* * *

Jason: Fun fact: I’ve been all over the world, but I’ve never been to Jeju.

Me: You’re kidding. Does that mean you’ve never had the magical experience of eating a hallabong??

Jason: Had it, just not on the island where it’s from. It’s not the same, is it?

Me: Nope. You gotta have it on the island.

Jason: Are you eating one right now? If you are, I need a play-by-play. I’m talking peeling-the-orange-and-eating-it-one-slice-at-a-time-level play-by-play. Got it?

Me: No hallabong yet, but we’re about to meet some haenyo divers. Almost as cool as eating an orange, right?

Jason: Just almost.

In true Seoul International School fashion, the students had their parents insist that the school put us up at the most luxurious hotel on the island for our field trip. It’s the nicest I’ve ever stayed at (by far), with, like, five saltwater pools and a tropical garden on the rooftop, plus daily barbecues hosted on the hotel’s private stretch of beach, all cabanas and cozy chairs for people to eat their juicy, perfectly well-done gogi in style. Inside, my classmates are bouncing in their seats, eager to check out the PlayStation arcade and the gourmet bakery in the lobby, but truthfully, of all the things on the field trip roster, I’ve been most looking forward to meeting the haenyo.

There are only a few of these legendary female divers remaining—the mermaids of Jeju, people call them, deep-sea diving every day, hunting through the ocean for abalone, clams, and seaweed—and we’re meeting three of them here today. As they walk in, I watch them closely, taking in their graying hair, the deep lines that stretch across their faces. They’re all in their late seventies and early eighties, but they seem to radiate a special kind of strength. They start to speak, and I lean forward, hanging on to every word.

“It is difficult to do this work,” one of the haenyo says, looking at all of us with her hands spread wide, her words radiating across the room. “But we do it to support our families, to make a living, and to carry on a legacy. We are the last generation of haenyo, and we carry that proudly.”

“Through freezing-cold waters and exhaustion that seeps through our bones, the most important thing for us is to remember that we are strong,” the second haenyo says. I feel my body come alive with goose bumps. “We are courageous. We are powerful. When we feel like we cannot do this any longer, we remember that we already have, and we will again.”

The third haenyo lifts her chin. She is a smaller woman with a curved back, but she exudes authority with every word she speaks. “It is crucial for us to remind ourselves of our own strength, especially as women in Korea. Who else will tell us this? Nobody. It’s up to us to be independent, to tell ourselves the truth of what we are capable of, and to do everything we know we have the strength to do.”

Unexpected tears well up in my eyes. I wipe them with the back of my hand and carefully store their words away in my heart.

* * *

Jason: Any pearls of wisdom from the haenyo?

Jason: Get it? Pearls? ㅋㅋㅋ

I roll my eyes but smile at his pun, then pause, fingers hovering over my phone. All of our conversations so far have been lighthearted at most. I’m not sure how to express anything deeper to him, and honestly, I’m not so sure I want to. It’s one thing to send Kakao emojis and jokes about eating tangerines. It’s another to be vulnerable about something that’s made a lasting impression on my heart. Something that feels so much like it was meant for me to hear at this very moment in my life.

I click my phone off without responding to Jason and turn to Hyeri, who’s sitting in the beach chair next to me, gazing at the honeymooning couples lounging around us.

“They all look so happy, don’t they?” she says, sighing. “Do you think Juhyun and Daeho will come here for their honeymoon one day?”