I open my mouth now to respond to the host’s question with DB’s preapproved answer (We get ready together, of course, like all best friends do!), when Jason puts his hand on my leg and flashes a quick half grin my way.

“I think I’ll take this one if you don’t mind,” Jason says, turning toward the host. “The answer is… me!” The host laughs appreciatively, flashing his too-white teeth, as Jason continues. “I am obviously the most high-maintenance member of this group. Especially when it comes to my skin-care regimen.”

The host laughs again as Jason mimes scrubbing his face in the mirror, but he quickly gathers himself. “Jason,” he asks, “what’s it like being back in your hometown?” A somber look covers his face. “Does it make you think of your mother more than usual?”

Beside me I can hear Jason’s breath hitch in his throat as he’s totally caught off guard. Interviewers rarely bring up his mother. I look over at him and my heart immediately swells. His face is open and vulnerable—it’s the Jason that played me his original song in the music room, the one who held my hand on the plane back from Tokyo.

But he recovers in a flash, clearing his throat and smiling widely. My heart snaps shut. “It feels great to be home,” he says, expertly dodging the question. “There’s no place like Toronto! I only wish we had more time here. We’ll be heading to New York City soon for the second leg of our tour.” He glances meaningfully in my direction. “It’s another special place for us because it’s Rachel’s hometown.”

Mina and I swivel our heads to look at him, both of us trying to mask our shock. New York? No one told us we were going to New York.

“How exciting!” the host says. “I’m sure all your fans in New York are dying to meet you. What a wonderful surprise for them!”

It’s a surprise all right, and not just for the fans.

After the interview wraps up, Mr. Han comes up to us. “Rachel, Mina, I’ll need your passports for some more paperwork before we head to the States,” he says, all business.

I stand there, unable to move. “Our passports?” I say slowly. “But no one ever told us—ow!” I cry out as Mina discreetly stomps down on my toes with her heel.

“Oh yes! Seeing that your song is doing so well, we decided to add another city to the tour,” Mr. Han says, rubbing his hands together. “The fans have really been loving you three. So after your performance at the music festival in Brantwood tomorrow, we’re flying to New York!”

Jason grins, giving Mr. Han a fist bump. “I’m so stoked. I haven’t been to New York in forever.”

Mr. Han grins back. When Mina and I don’t react right away, he looks at us, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. It’s an unwritten rule that K-pop trainees aren’t permitted to complain about anything they’re asked to do. Not only that, but we’re expected to be thankful for everything—for extra-long practice sessions, for punishments doled out to us in the hallways, for the strict diets enforced on us, and especially for surprise trips to New York City. “Aren’t you thrilled? This is great news.”

Mina opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but quickly closes it again. She smiles widely instead and says, “Of course I’m thrilled! I’ve always wanted to go to New York!”

She laughs, clapping her hands together.

“I knew you would be excited!” Mr. Han says, his face relaxing as he joins in her laughter.

New York. I should be thrilled, like Mina and Jason. But at this moment all I can think about is everything K-pop has asked of me: move across the world to a new country, miss your dad’s graduation. Train 24/7. Never stop smiling. Even when you have to break up with your boyfriend. The one boy who got it. Who knew what this life was like. Whose dreams were your dreams. I’ve dreamed about going home for years—but now, in this moment, I don’t see home. I just see another thing that K-pop is asking of me. Go to another city, with no notice and no say. I should be jumping up and down with joy, but it just doesn’t feel the way I thought it would. Nothing does.

All three of them turn to face me, and I quickly convert my face into a bright smile, beaming at them like they’re all my very best friends, just like the rest of the world believes.

“That really is amazing news,” I say. “A dream come true.”

Nineteen

“According to Google, Brantwood is a small, upscale resort town north of Toronto, famous for its Blue Mountain summer music festival,” Leah recites as we FaceTime the next morning.

I groan as I brush my teeth. I couldn’t sleep last night, so around 5:00 a.m. I gave up and called Leah, who’s been catching me up on her K-dramas and reading me facts about Brantwood for the last hour.

“It should take about three hours to get there from your hotel,” she chirps happily. “Three hours in the car with Jason! You’re so lucky.”

“Uh-huh. That’s me.” I haven’t told Leah about anything that happened between me and Jason, of course. As far as she knows, we’re still just the best of friends who take her on day trips to Japan.

I pick up my phone and head to my suitcase, grabbing a pair of slouchy sweatpants and an oversize orange T-shirt. “Unni, omg!” Leah’s voice shouts over the phone.

“What?”

“Isn’t that the T-shirt you wear when we stay in and watch movies? You need to put on something cuter!”

“What, stop! No. It’s fine. Mr. Han said we can dress down for the car ride,” I say defensively. “Besides, it’s comfortable and I’ve spent the last four days in heels and tight skirts.”

“Okay,” Leah says skeptically, raising her eyebrows.

She looks ready to start another lecture on the importance of grooming, so I quickly change the subject. “Hey, aren’t you going to Everland today? Umma said some girls from school invited you.”

Leah’s eyes swivel to the side of her head. “Oh, um. I was going to go, but… I’m… not. Anymore.”

I frown at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she says slowly. “Everyone was planning on sleeping over here afterward. But then they found out that you weren’t gonna be here and…” Her voice trails off. “It’s fine! Maybe you and I can go when you get back?”

There’s a lump in my throat, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears at bay before I can answer. “Of course! The minute I get home, it’s you, me, and the T Express.”

This of course sends Leah into a delighted monologue of all her favorite Everland rides, and after a few more minutes, I can hear Umma telling her to hang up and do her homework. I end the call and head downstairs, quickly stuffing two chocolates that were left on my hotel pillow into my tote bag, thinking I’ll eat them in the car later.

As I near the lobby, I spot Jason only a few feet away, pacing by some windows, talking on the phone. I groan inwardly. I was hoping he wouldn’t be here yet, but I guess I’m not the only one who couldn’t sleep. I’m about to sneak past him so he doesn’t notice me, when suddenly I hear his voice, tense and angry as he grips his phone to his ear. I quickly duck behind a huge potted plant.