Jason’s eyes widen in slight shock as I fall silent again, but he just nods in understanding. “Yeah. I get that pressure.”

I mean to let out a small laugh, but I can hear the scornful tone in my voice. “I think your adoring fans and our lovely director would beg to differ.”

Jason runs his hand through his hair, thinking. “I know what it must look like from the outside. But think about how hard you’re working right now—the pressure to debut. That pressure is times a million once you actually do.”

My voice catches in my throat. “I’ve been so worried about debuting that I guess I haven’t really given any thought to what would happen once I do—if I do.”

“You will,” Jason says, looking directly into my eyes. “And you’ll have your whole family there to cheer you on at every concert. Leah will insist on it, I’m sure.” His face breaks into a wide smile.

“You’re one to talk! Your eemos could give my sister a run for her money!”

Jason smiles at me again, but it’s more half-hearted this time. “Yeah. I’m sorry about that dinner, by the way—I know those three can be a little intense. Especially when there’s a pretty girl involved.”

I feel the spark of a familiar flutter in my chest, but I ignore it. “What was it like, being back in Toronto?” I ask.

“Weird,” he says. “I love my eemos, but I rarely come home anymore. It’s just… difficult.”

I hesitate, not wanting to pry but also missing the way the two of us just fall so easily into conversation. “Because of your mom?”

Jason looks at me and gives an almost imperceptible shrug. “Yeah. But also”—he pauses—“I’m sure you noticed my dad wasn’t around when we were in Canada.”

I give him a quick nod.

“Growing up, it was always like me and my mom versus my dad. It wasn’t on purpose or anything. My mom and I just both loved music—and especially K-pop. She used to sing me old Chung Yuna songs when she tucked me in at night. It felt like something that was just ours.” He gives me a sad smile. “My dad hated it, though. He didn’t want her speaking Korean to me at home or making Korean food. He was always saying she should just assimilate to Toronto life since she immigrated as a teenager. He didn’t understand why it was so important to her—to us—to stay connected to it.”

He sighs deeply, twirling a french fry over and over between his fingers. “After she died, we both kind of fell apart. I wanted to keep her memory alive, so I’d sing the songs she taught me. But every time he heard me play any Korean music, he’d flip out. It was scary how mad he could get about a song. Just a simple Korean song.”

There’s a lump in my throat the size of a golf ball, and I can feel myself holding my breath as he continues.

“My eemos, they all still lived in Brantwood, where my mom grew up. I would call them crying every time Dad and I got in another fight, and it started happening so much that eventually they sued him for custody. They’ve always told me Dad fought hard to keep me, but I found out the truth right before I moved to Seoul. The three of them sold off some of their family’s holdings and offered my dad this big cash settlement, and he took it. No questions asked. That was that. I moved to Brantwood and took my mom’s last name. Things with my dad have been… complicated ever since. I thought I’d try to see him on this trip, but he said he couldn’t get the time off work.”

My mind flashes back to the heated phone call Jason was having in the hotel lobby a few days ago. It all makes sense now.

I swallow hard, but the lump in my throat won’t move. I want to reach my hand out to touch him, to tell him how sorry I am, how my heart is breaking for him, but instead I just say, “Jason, I had no idea.”

“Not a lot of people do,” he says lightly. “But everyone knows the next part. My eemos encouraged me to keep on playing music, especially K-pop, as a way to grieve my mom and stay connected with her. I started making YouTube covers. And then DB found me. And now,” he says, opening his arms, “here I am, in Madison Square Park. Watching the world’s fattest squirrels eat french fries.”

I laugh, pressing my palms into my eyes. “That’s quite the journey.”

“It is, isn’t it?” He grins, but the smile quickly disappears from his face. “I’m sorry, Rachel,” Jason says suddenly.

“About what? Making me almost cry?”

He smiles a small smile and shakes his head, his face growing serious. “About the double standard. You were right. After what Kang Jina said that night, I was so convinced that you were both being too careful, too paranoid. But… I was wrong. I should have listened to you. I should have paid attention. But I didn’t notice anything because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see how differently people treat you and Mina and Jina.” He pauses, swallowing hard. “I was supposed to be your… boyfriend.” His cheeks burn as he stumbles over the word, but he keeps going. “But I wasn’t even a good friend to you. I didn’t see what’s been going on right in front of me for years. And that makes me just as bad as the execs, the fans… everyone. But I want you to know that I see it and I’m here for you. No matter what. And I’m sorry I was such a jerk about everything.”

“You were,” I say, smiling. “But thanks for saying that. Friends.” I stick my hand out to shake his.

“Friends,” he says, grabbing my hand. He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something more, but instead, he just closes his fingers over mine for a moment and squeezes tight.

Twenty-Two

I wake up the next morning to a loud knock on my hotel door. Did DB send me breakfast in bed or something? I swing the door open and barely have time to let out a yelp before I’m attacked by a flurry of apple flower perfume and a rainbow blur of hair clips.

“Surprise!”

“Oh my god!” I scream as Juhyun and Hyeri throw their arms around me. “What are you two doing here?”

“Our cousin’s having some big engagement party in Brooklyn to show off her ring,” Juhyun says, plopping down on my bed. “So we thought we’d drop in on our little international K-pop star.”

“I’d say our surprise was a success,” Hyeri says, grinning triumphantly. “Aww, look, you’re even crying!”

I laugh, the remnants of my green tea night mask melting away as tears stream down my face. I’d been feeling so homesick for New York that I forgot how much I missed Seoul.… And the twins are like a little piece of home delivered right to my door.

“You’re not busy, are you?” Juhyun asks.

I glance behind me at the stack of homework on my hotel room table. The homework that was supposed to be done today, my one day off on this whole whirlwind tour. “Well…”

“Because we thought we could go shopping,” Hyeri says.

My eyes light up. “Shopping?”

“We’ve got a private suite at Saks Fifth Avenue with our name on it,” Juhyun says, wiggling her eyebrows.

A private suite? At Saks Fifth Avenue? “Just give me a second,” I say, rushing over to my suitcase.