“You’re okay, Kennedy. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.”

She held on tight. For the first time in the past year, I begun to breathe again, and my sister didn’t let me go.

As she held me, she asked me a very, very important question—probably the most important one I’d heard in a very long time. “Wine?”

“Yes.” I laughed, and I was taken aback by how genuine it sounded. “Wine.”

2

Kennedy

New beginnings should come with a warning label.

Warning: fresh starts won’t stop old memories from flooding your brain, resulting in panic attacks, social discomfort, and waves of every emotion possible stemming from depression, crashing into gratitude, and crackling into sparks of anger. No feelings are left behind.

It had been three days of me sleeping in my sister’s guest room, and Penn hadn’t reached out to me once. I tried my best not to reveal the confusing thoughts playing through my mind. I didn’t want my heaviness to weigh too heavily on my sister and Nathan—they didn’t deserve that. They deserved the me who was only thankful, not the sad girl I’d been for the past year. That was the problem with Penn—he saw my sadness and proved that side of me wasn’t worth loving. So I was working harder and harder not to let that side of me slip out. I didn’t want to push people away with my grief anymore.

I wanted people to stay.

Fake it till you make it, Kennedy.

It’s a proven fact that if you smile more, people will think you are happy. That’s basic science. I’d been smiling so much for the past few days since I’d arrived at Yoana’s that my cheeks were sore. Sometimes, I’d excuse myself to the bathroom just to let the smile fade for a moment before I pasted it back on my lips.

I hadn’t been called out on my fake smiles so far, which meant those smiles deserved an Oscar.

“Okay, don’t peek!” Yoana warned as she guided me down the streets of a small town called Havenbarrow. The town was only fifteen minutes from her home, and she said it was the cutest small town ever. For the past few days, all she talked about was the cuteness of the small town.

I couldn’t have peeked even if I wanted to thanks to the bandana covering my eyes. We’d been walking for a while, me stumbling every few minutes while Yoana tried her best to keep me from dying.

“Is the blindfold really needed?” I asked, a bit confused by all my sister’s antics while guiding me. The moment we parked her car in town, Yoana ordered me to close my eyes. Then, she took me on an adventure.

“Yes! Now hush and keep going. We’re almost there. Wait! Stop! Car!” she screeched, yanking me backward.

“What the hell!” I hollered, causing Yoana to burst out laughing.

“Just kidding. We’re nowhere near the street. I just thought it would be funny.”

“Oh, how I’ve missed your sense of humor.” My tone was joking, but I really had missed her sense of humor. I’d missed pretty much everything about being around my sister, and since I’d come to her for help, she’d been nothing but a saint to me.

“Only one more left turn,” she told me with her hands on my shoulders—then she whipped me to the right. “I meant right, right! Okay, a few steps forward…two steps back.”

“Are we doing the dance routine for Paula Abdul’s ‘Opposites Attract’? Because if so, I need to change my shoes,” I told her.

“Shush, woman. We’re here. Just move a little to the left.” I scooted. “A little more.” I shuffled my feet some more. “Okay, good, good. Now a liiiittle to the right.”

“Yoana!” I hollered.

She laughed, and the sound alone made me chuckle. “Okay, okay, sorry. I just want the surprise to be perfect, that’s all.”

“Okay, so tell me what to do. Can I see the surprise now? Not that you had to get me anything because you’ve already done more than enough by letting me sleep in your guest room. Plus, the fact that you—”

“Kennedy.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, thank you. Now on the count of three, I’m going to take off your blindfold to show you the most exciting thing ever. One…two…three!” She ripped the blindfold off and revealed that we were standing in front of a house. A very cute house that was freshly painted with a picket fence surrounding the yard where wild foliage grew rampant. On the front steps of the house was Nathan—Yoana’s husband—with two bottles of champagne in his hands and the biggest goofy grin I’d ever seen on his face.

I glanced over at my sister, confused as sin. “What exactly is happening?”

“Surprise!” she squeaked. “It’s your new home!”

“My new…” I whipped around to face Yoana as my jaw dropped. “My new what?” I exclaimed, bafflement hitting me at a new speed.