I shook my head.

And yes, continued explaining.

“But now, I have my own domain. My own system. Responsibilities. People count on me. Good people who get it. Who work hard, like I do, and who appreciate having a great place to work because they know that is a rare thing to find.”

“Is it enough for you?” he asked.

And it was my turn to stare intently.

Then I shared, “West, the most fun I’ve had since my life turned inside out, besides being with you and the kids, or Lorie and Minnie and the girls, and maybe even more fun than being with the girls, is when I got to make that office my own. Do I want to work admin for Ace in the Hole for the rest of my life? I don’t know. But I’m not coasting now. I love going to work. And not just because I’m glad to have work. I love the work. It’s about detail and organization, and there is no other who’s better at either of those than a librarian. Not to mention, your people are good people.”

“My people are your people,” he replied.

Yes.

I’d struggled with it.

But really, there was no denying it.

They were.

“Yes,” I whispered.

That got me a very different intense look before it got me a kiss and Buck rolling me, so I was again on top.

And then it got me more.

The next day, Driver was my ride home, because Buck texted me to say he was busy.

I thought he was off doing president of an MC stuff.

I thought wrong.

Because when Driver dropped me off, I saw three things at Buck’s house.

Ink’s bike parked by Buck’s.

Chap’s old, faded-red Ford truck parked by Ink’s bike.

And the bathtub in the master bath was outside on the deck.

I wandered into the house, my extremities tingling, and I didn’t even put my purse down before I wandered straight to the master bath.

All three men were in it.

Buck and Ink were re-tiling the bathtub/shower space in a tile that was different, but complementary, to the tile around the vanity.

Chap was doing something in the floor with plumbing.

And taking up most of the rest of the room where they weren’t working was a huge, oval, vessel-shaped, freestanding, gorgeous soaking tub.

“Hey, babe,” Buck greeted, like I came home to him doing something so insanely wonderful every day.

“Hey,” I forced out.

“Give me a kiss then get us all a beer, would you?” he asked.

I said nothing.

I gave him a kiss then got them a beer.

They’d had to let the tile dry. They’d had to grout it and let that dry. Then they’d had to pull out and then put in an entirely new floor (penny tile, it was going to be fabulous) because the tile Buck had before was discontinued, and the new tub would expose more floor.

So we were showering in Tatie’s bathroom because it’d take another day or two to get the tub in and the new showerheads installed.

Buck did not make a big deal of this.

Any of it.

But it was a big deal to me.

Huge.

Because I had been right way back in the beginning. Buck was not the kind of guy who took baths.

But I told him I did, and I loved doing it.

And soon, I was going to have a fabulous bathtub to do it in.

These thoughts on my mind, I hit Safeway and bought enough cookies to feed the shop people, the contractor men, the Aces members, the delivery men, Lorie, Minnie, Pinky, Debbie (if they popped around) and myself.

In other words, I cleaned Safeway clear out of cookies.

I also took the opportunity to grab two big tins of coffee, fresh half and half, some flavored half and half (vanilla, which was Minnie’s and my favorite) and I headed out to my super-cool car.

I did this thinking I could do this.

That “this” being, I was in a place in my life where I bought cookies (or made them, or cakes, or cupcakes or other) for people I liked. People who took care of me. People who cared about me.

Genuinely.

People who had my back.

Friends (in Minnie, Lorie, Pinky and now Debbie’s case).

Real ones who’d never cut me out unless it was me, personally, who did something nasty.

Real ones who’d accept me just as I was, if I wore my biker babe clothes, or if I stayed in my librarian blouses.

I did this also thinking that I couldn’t leave my house without my man phoning, irritated I left it without connecting with him in some way.

Sure, Buck talked about having sex. He was a guy, a guy just woken up, and men tended to be in a certain mood when they woke up.

He was also my man and he’d woken up without me.

So I was sensing he was more ticked about the fact I left without saying good-bye.

And I did all this and walked out to my super-cool car that I’d driven down from the nice house in the tranquil setting where I lived.

It wasn’t grand.

It wasn’t phony.

It was full of food and love (and on the weekends) people.

More people who cared about me.

And eventually (in fact, very soon), it would be perfection because it would have a soaking tub.

But even when it was just me and Buck, the only other person in that house cared about me.

He gave me a car, yes, and a job, that too (and if I did say so myself, after a rocky start, I did it well). He gave me money to buy a cell and clothes.

But he did not shower me with riches, a fancy home, an expensive vehicle, in order to meet some need he decided I had that he had to do awful things to assuage (and let’s be real, what Rogan did was not all about me, and I wasn’t going to shoulder that blame).

That said, I gave in return.

As far as I could tell (and evidence mounted daily when I discovered more stuff I had to sort, this was true), I was the best office manager Ace in the Hole ever had. There were tons of employees with employee issues. Constant deliveries. Orders that had to be submitted, and accurately. Quotes to prepare. A variety of jobs being worked all the time that had to be monitored, progressed and kept straight. Clients to communicate with and keep happy.

I got paid for this, but it was one less headache for the brothers. I didn’t know if they had a lot of headaches, but everyone could use one less. And I knew for a fact at least Chap was glad I was around so he didn’t have to deal with the office.

And Buck and I gave a happy home to the kids when they were there.

It wasn’t like we were fake and tried too hard and forced them to do happy things all the time or took them shopping to spoil them (well, I did that with Tatie, but the time was nigh for her room and the situation prior was extreme).

It was hanging out in front of the TV, on the deck, eating breakfast together in the mornings, dinner at night if the kids weren’t off doing something.

But they came home to two people who wanted above all else for them to have fun when they were gone and come home safe and sound.

And when Buck wasn’t being King of the Castle BIKER! he was sweet and loving, affectionate, funny. All of this in a rough, no-nonsense way, but it worked for me.

He thought I was “gorgeous,” but he didn’t feel the need to tell me every day and make it weird or seem false.

He was just real with me. He was just himself, yes, even the bad parts, and he gave me that, and I could be myself (for the most part), and he made no bones he liked me just as I was.

And he went out of his way to give me a beautiful soaking tub.