“What? Oh, no that’s not what I meant. Pervert.” He snorts and I shrug. Yup, that’s me. “I mean, is a guy going to be giving it to you because I don’t think I’m okay with that.”

Wait, what? I answer honestly. “Actually I have no idea. Juls booked them weeks ago. But, why does it matter? It’s a massage, it’s not sexual.”

“It just does. If you want a guy to massage you, I’ll give you a massage. I’d prefer it if it was a girl and not for the perverted reasons your mind is thinking.”

I step back and stare at him. Seriously? “Okay well, I just don’t understand why this bothers you.” If this is just casual, then it shouldn’t. Right?

He throws his hands up and looks exacerbated. “You’re right. Never mind, it doesn’t bother me. I should go.” He leans in quickly and kisses me on my temple before turning for the stairs.

“Reese.” He looks over at me, stopping on the stairs. My head is full with things I want to say to him. I want to ask him to be honest with me, to tell me exactly why it bothers him to have a man massage me. I want to ask him if this was becoming more for him than how it started out. But I don’t. I don’t ask him anything. “Goodnight.”

He smiles slightly and continues walking away. “Goodnight, love.” I watch him disappear down the stairs and hear the door close shut behind him as I’m left to ponder what just happened.

Ten

I woke up feeling just as confused as I did before I passed out last night. Plus on top of that fun emotion, I was also completely exhausted after the shitty night’s sleep I got. His words played on repeat in my mind, seeping into my dreams and leaving me full of questions. Questions I wanted desperately to have answered by him but didn’t have the guts to ask. I didn’t get it. Why would having a massage from a man bother him? Massages weren’t sexual at all in that setting. I’m sure they could be if Reese was to give me one, and the thought of that gave me chills, but at the spa I was currently driving to with Juls? No fucking way.

I’ve had men give me massages before and I enjoyed them a bit more than women because they were stronger and their hands were bigger. I liked my muscles to be worked deeply and not with little dainty woman hands. But never, not ever have I once felt anything during a massage from a man other than pure relaxation. Christ, most of the time I passed out and had to be woken up, drool sticking to my face and looking like a hot mess.

I grunt as I look out the window. I’m tense and anxious and I need to fucking relax.

“You’re awfully quiet, sweets. Not looking forward to our day of beauty?” Juls asks after giving me my alone time to contemplate what the hell happened last night. Not that it helped any.

I sigh heavily. “Something strange happened last night with Reese and I’m not really sure what to make of it.” I turn my attention to her. “Do you know if my massage is booked with a man or a woman?”

She laughs a bit. “Uh oh. Did someone voice his opinion of not wanting another man touching you?”

“Sort of? I don’t know. He said he’d prefer if it was a woman and when I asked him why it mattered so much because it wasn’t like I was getting a happy ending out of it, he said that it didn’t matter and then he left.” I rest my head back and rack my brain. “I just don’t get why he cares if this is just sex between us.”

She makes a sound of amusement before answering. “You, my lovely best friend, are an idiot.”

“What? Why?” The car slows as she pulls into the parking lot of Tranquility Day Spa and my stomach tightens. Fuck. Did I really want to go through with this if it was booked with a guy and I couldn’t switch it? Did I even want a massage anymore?

She pulls into a parking spot, shuts the car off, and turns towards me in her seat. “Dylan, seriously? What if Reese was the one getting a massage and some fucking hot chick was rubbing her hands all over his body and giving him pleasure. Would you be okay with that?”

Well shit, I didn’t think about it like that. “No, I definitely wouldn’t be okay with that.” I cover my face quickly and rub it. “Damn it. I’m such an asshole.”

She laughs and pulls my hands down. “No, you’re not. You’re expecting him to not care about you because what you two are doing is what you keep foolishly referring to as casual. But you’re very hard not to care about.” Her thumb softly strokes my hand and I smile weakly at her. “Even if you guys are just having fun, he’s allowed to want to keep you to himself and so are you.” God, I miss these talks with Juls. She always makes perfect sense out of any situation. She stops lovingly caressing me and slaps my hand, causing me to shriek. “Now buck up and put your girl talk game face on. You are mine today.”

**

The massage was, of course, booked with a man but I quickly protested and was able to switch to an available woman that had a client cancel on her. I relaxed immediately after that was taken care of and enjoyed my facial first, laughing with Juls as we lie next to each other on a double wide table and get pampered together. I hadn’t realized that she had made it so that we would be attached at the hip all day, but was instantly grateful. As we are left alone to let our masks dry, I take her silence as my opportunity to spill my juice.

“So, Reese told me last night that Ian talks about you constantly. Just thought you should know.” I crack a smile and hear her react next to me, a soft gasp coming from her lips.

“Oh man, I think I love him, Dylan. Like totally head over heels, I want to spend the rest of my life with him kind of love. Is that crazy? I mean, we’ve only known each other a few months and I’ve already picked out my fucking wedding colors.”

I let out a hearty laugh and grab her hand, squeezing it tightly. “And what color will I be wearing? If you say something pastel I’m pushing you off this table.”

“Oh fuck no. You know I’ve always dreamed of a fall wedding.” She grunts in annoyance. “Jesus, why are we even talking about this? It’s not like Ian is anywhere close to proposing to me. He hasn’t said he loves me, if he even does, which he probably doesn’t. And I am not going to be the fool that says it first and stands there like an idiot waiting for his response. No fucking way.”

“Maybe he’s just waiting for the perfect moment. You said he’s romantic as hell. Maybe he wants to make sure you’re ready to hear everything he has to say.”

The door opens and our two estheticians return as I scrunch my face up and feel the mask crack. Juls sighs. “I don’t know, maybe. Whatever, I refuse to say it first that’s all I’m saying.”

“Me too,” I respond without any thought at all and hear a loud gasp from my right. No. No way. I am not in love with Reese. Nope.

“Oh my…” she starts but I squeeze her hand tightly and hear a yelp instead of the rest of her sentence.

I stammer, “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t, I mean, I don’t. Shit.” I turn my head and see her wide eyes, a smile cracking open her face. “You mention a word of this conversation to Joey and I will tell Ian myself that you’ve picked out the names of your children.” She begins to silently giggle and I slowly join her. Jesus Christ. Note to self, don’t go to spa days with Juls anymore because you lose your fucking mind.