Those words feel like daggers. How can she feel alone when I’m right here? I’m always here for her. I always have been.

A loud voice starts screaming in my head, Then tell her that! Tell her how you feel! Tell her now, you imbecile!

“It’s like every person I decide to trust lets me down.”

You would never hurt her! Open up your mouth and tell her that!

She looks up at me as if she realizes what she just said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ethan…. I know, I mean, you haven’t …”

My eyes widen as I realize that she’s lumping me in with Sophie. Sophie stabbed Emme in the back by manipulating their supposed friendship for her personal gain. And I … well, I’ve messed up countless times and it seems that Emme hasn’t forgotten, or forgiven, my past indiscretions.

You’ve changed! Remind her of that, don’t sit there and let her think the worst of you!

My mouth opens. “It’s okay, Emme. You’ve been through a lot. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing.”

What the hell? Seriously, dude? You’re going to waste this moment! Coward!

She lets out a halfhearted laugh. “Yeah, well, you’re probably one of the few people who think that.”

Tell her you love her! Say the words! Don’t let her go! Don’t waste this moment!

“I doubt that.”

Idiot!

She gets up and looks at her reflection in the mirror. “Ugh. I’m a mess.”

“It’s not that bad.”

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

“I’m so tired. I just want to go home….”

She turns around and stops herself when she sees me. She studies me for a second. “Are you okay, Ethan? You look, um, I don’t know. Is everything okay?”

I realize that I’ve been holding my breath. It probably looks like I’m going to burst. So I say the only thing I can think of.

“No, I’m fine.”

God, I loathe you.

Join the club.

I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.

I get overwhelmed about not only getting to play my song at the Senior Showcase, but getting the last spot, with the band.

Then I’m not even allowed to celebrate it because I basically dress Sophie down in front of the entire school.

So I do what I’ve been really good at doing lately, which is cry uncontrollably.

And then I insult Ethan.

Clearly, there is something wrong with me.

But Ethan, being Ethan, either doesn’t notice it or is too nice to say anything about it.

All I know is that I can’t lose another friend. And Ethan, unlike Sophie, is a true friend. I know that he cheats on his girlfriends and does some pretty stupid things, but he’s always been there for me.

And I need him more than ever, now that we have to focus on the showcase and college auditions.

Jack bursts through the door with a shopping bag. “Costume time!”

We’re playing our last gig of the year and are going to do some Christmas songs, so Jack thought it would be appropriate for us to be as festive as possible. He hands Ethan a Santa jacket, Ben some elf ears, me tinsel, and keeps a Santa hat for himself.

He looks in the mirror. “Man, I make anything look hot!”

We all groan. I start wrapping myself up in the tinsel.

Jack comes over to study me. “You’d make one fine gift under the tree, Red. Don’t you think so, Ethan?”

Ethan freezes with his jacket halfway on. “Um, sure?”

“‘Um, sure?’” Jack makes a face. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m trying to figure out why we all have to wear something idiotic and all you have to do is put on a hat?”

Ben takes that as his cue to debate with Jack over why he has to be an elf. There’s a knock on the door and I can’t believe it when I see who it is.

“Carter!” I run over and give him a hug. “I thought you weren’t coming back for two more weeks.”

“Change of plans. I didn’t want to miss Christmas in New York.” He gives me a tight squeeze and then greets everybody in the room.

“Nice ears,” he says to Ben.

“That’s it!” Ben throws the ears down. “I am not going to be the elf.”

Ben and Jack start to argue again about the costumes.

Carter comes over to me. “Yikes, didn’t realize that was going to set him off.”

“It doesn’t take much with those two.”

Ethan shakes Carter’s hand. “Hey, man, did you hear who the spotlight performance for the showcase went to?”

Carter’s eyes get wide. “Aw, that’s amazing! Congrats, you guys!”

He pats me on the back.

Ethan shakes his head. “No, the band is second to last. It’s Emme. Solo.”

Carter picks me up. “Emme, I’m so proud of you! Tell me everything.”

I go to a corner and sit down with Carter and fill him in on everything that happened with Sophie.

“Ah, gotta love karma. What goes around, comes around,” Carter says.

“I guess….” I don’t want to think about Sophie anymore. “YOU need to tell me everything! How was Italy?”

Carter gushes, “Amazing. We went to all these art museums and I ate so much pasta. It was a goal Mom and I had — to eat pasta and gelato every day. She’s already signed up for some master cleanse the day after Christmas. But we had a lot of fun and I loved that not once did I get recognized. For the first time in my life, nobody cared who I was. My only movies that are shown over there are from when I was really young, so I was just a guy with his mom. I’ve never had that before.”