“Still worth considering. In fact, now that Cellina’s in charge, it’s even more dangerous to be out there. We’ve no idea what she’s planning.”

“And you knew Tohon’s plans?”

“Yes. He wanted to conquer all the realms and be king. Not hard to figure out his next move. Cellina, on the other hand, is more of a mystery. Plus she has Wynn’s information. We’ll have to relocate the infirmary and my headquarters as soon as possible. And until I get intelligence on her movements, it’s best for everyone to lie low.”

If he was trying to scare me, it wouldn’t work. “We’ll be extra careful.”

Ryne frowned.

The guys returned and we left the cave.

“Which way?” Loren asked me.

I touched the greenery, seeking Kerrick’s magic. Disappointment jabbed. “East. And keep a sharp eye out.”

“For what?” Flea scanned the forest.

“Lilys. Right, Avry?” Quain asked with a sad smile.

“Yes. We’re searching for Lilys.”

“Oh.” Flea hefted his pack. “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

* * *

Although we found nothing that first day, we continued to seek Lilys after my morning rounds each day. I harvested a few toxin sacks, but not near enough to neutralize the thousands of dead soldiers or to stop our daily excursions. Wounded arrived sporadically as Ryne’s soldiers encountered Cellina’s. Odd returned to patrolling with the odd squad, and Ryne relocated his headquarters. The prince’s men continued to scout for an alternate infirmary site.

The burning knot of misery that had lodged in my chest consumed a little more of me each day.

After a week of Lily hunting, Loren spread the map on his lap and said, “We’ve covered all of the area around the infirmary. We’d have to camp overnight to reach new territory.”

Quain and Flea glanced up from their bowls. They’d been shoveling food since we’d returned from our latest sweep. We sat around the hearth.

I ignored Loren’s implication. “Okay. We’ll bring our bedrolls tomorrow.”

He paused for a moment. “But the odds of finding...er...a Lily that far away are high.”

“You can stay here, Loren. I’m not giving up.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”

“Then why did you bring it up?” I demanded.

“Because it needed to be said. And while you don’t want hear it, it’s true. But if this is what you need to do...then we’ll go with you. However, I plan to be the voice of reason whether you like it or not.”

Flea and Quain ducked their heads. Cowards.

“I’m not giving up,” I said again. Jabbing my spoon into my soup, I swirled the contents around. My appetite was nonexistent since Kerrick had disappeared.

“Okay. Do you want to go farther east or check along that stream to the north?” Loren asked, pointing to the map.

Neither place had any Lilys nearby. “Stream to the north.”

“We’ll need a full day to get there. How soon can you leave tomorrow?”

We spent the remainder of the evening discussing our plans.

Before I turned in for the night, I checked my patients. Most were already asleep, but one of the new arrivals remained awake. He had fallen into a ditch and broken his left leg below the knee. Ginger had immobilized it in a splint. Although he claimed he felt fine, there was no mistaking his stiff movements and tight expression.

I consulted with the caregiver on duty. “Has anyone given Private Davin medicine for the pain?”

“Yes, he drank a cup of bittwait.”

“How long ago?”

“Right after supper.”

He shouldn’t be in pain. I returned to his bedside. Davin had been carried in this morning. I’d done a quick visual exam, spotted the broken leg and let Ginger do the rest. Perhaps I’d been too quick. Healing magic gathered in my core. When I placed my hand on his forehead, I let my magic flow into Davin.

His leg was broken in two places, not one, and he had a couple cracked ribs and a sprained ankle. No wonder a single cup of bittwait hadn’t worked. I fetched the caregiver and, after he drank another cup, we wrapped his ribs and ankle and also immobilized his entire leg. I stayed with him until the crinkles on his forehead relaxed and he fell asleep.

Guilt throbbed along with the ever-present grief inside me. If I hadn’t been so anxious to leave this morning, I’d have used my magic and known the extent of the young man’s injuries. He wouldn’t have suffered all day.

Wide awake, I lay next to the small fire in my cavern, staring at the flames. Our plans for tomorrow meant I’d be gone for two days at least. And for what? To keep my hope alive? To do something, anything, just so I could say I wasn’t giving up. Stopping the search didn’t have to mean I’d given up hope. Or accepted his death.

We were at war, and my patients needed me here. And I couldn’t forget about my promise to Mom, the innkeeper of the Lamp Post Inn. She had done so much for me, creating my disguise so I could go undercover in Estrid’s army. I’d promised her I’d keep her daughter, Melina, safe. Melina had been conscripted into Estrid’s army and then sent to the monastery in Chinska Mare for not being a virgin. While Melina was safe from the war, there was no way I’d let her stay incarcerated.

I’d tell the guys my decision in the morning. At least now I’d have time to figure out a way to rescue Melina while Flea and I experimented to learn the extent of his magic.