“No!” The images make bile rise to my throat once more. “I just…I just wanted to protect him from…from…”

“Me?”

“From your life,” I confess slowly, staring at my feet.

He doesn’t say anything, but his arms tighten on either side of me, as if the tension will burst free from them. I think he’ll punish me now, he’ll turn my skin red, and I hope that will be the end of it.

His quiet voice fills the air. “You’ll make it a habit, won’t you? No matter what I do to make you happy and comfortable, no matter how much I try to make progress with us, you will try to escape every chance you get.”

My head snaps up and I shake it slowly. I don’t want him to think that or else he’ll take away whatever freedom I have left. “Adrian, I…won’t.”

“Liar. I can see it in your eyes, Lia. You’re scared of me and how I’ll retaliate, but you won’t stop. Not until you accomplish your goal.”

“Adrian…please…please…”

“Please what?”

“Don’t take it all away. I’ll be suffocated to death.”

“You should’ve considered that when you planned to run away.”

“Adrian…”

He wraps his hand around my jaw in a firm hold that forbids me any movement. His hands might kill and maim, but they’re usually warm and gentle whenever he touches me. Even when he punishes me, his hands are firm, but they’re never as freezing cold as right now. “Where did I go wrong, hmm? Was it by allowing you to go out? Allowing you to treat Yan as a friend? I should take care of those two things first.”

A tear slides down my cheek as I shake my head again. “Don’t…please…”

“After that, I will keep you in a room and use you as my fucking slut. Is that what you want?”

The thought stabs me deeper than his earlier threats. Adrian’s caring side is the reason I’ve been able to get through all these months. While sex has played a big part in our relationship, it isn’t what’s kept me going or reduced my nightmares. It isn’t what saved me from myself after the end of my career.

I didn’t think of it much at the time, but I liked how Adrian attentively looked out for me. I loved his aftercare and how he always made sure I was comfortable and satiated. How he held me every night and kissed me before leaving the house.

It was his way of telling me I’m more than just an object of desire to him.

But if he takes all of that away, I’ll be no different than a whore with a shiny diamond ring.

And that thought pierces the place in my heart that’s come to the realization that I love him. Despite his villainous nature, I love that he took care of me after my injury, that he continues to do so, even after I gave birth. That he devotes time to be there for me and knows my needs before I voice them. I believed he only wanted me because of Jeremy, but his attitude has never changed toward me post-birth. If anything, he’s been doing his best to take the load off me.

A fresh stream of tears fall down my cheeks. “No, Adrian, don’t do that…”

His harsh features don’t ease. Instead, they turn into granite. “I also told you not to entertain the idea of leaving, but you did it, anyway. Who do you think will win if we go down this road?”

I can’t control my tears anymore as I stand in the line of his ruthless wrath. It’s worse than if it were physical because, while Adrian can be caring, his true nature is monstrous and unforgiving. He won’t stop until he crushes everything in his path.

“You will not escape again, Lia.”

I nod frantically, even if a part of me will always want to.

“If you do, if I find out you’re so much as entertaining that idea, I will lock you up in a fucking cell and forbid you from seeing Jeremy ever again. He’ll be raised by someone else and you’ll lose all access to him.”

“No…no…” I sob. “Not that…don’t take away Jeremy. He’s my only light.”

“Then don’t fucking pull a stunt like this again.”

“Okay—I mean fine. I won’t.”

He steps back and I suck in a harsh breath, but his anger doesn’t lessen. In fact, it seems to have risen to the surface, threatening to destroy everything in his path.

“Are you…going to punish me now?”

“If I do anything in my state, I’ll break your fucking skin, so no, I won’t touch you when I’m angry, Lia.” He releases a long breath, shakes his head as if he’s disappointed, then turns and leaves.

The door closes behind him with a finality that echoes through my hollow insides.

I slide to the floor, joining the broken pieces of my heart that are lying there.

I slam a hand on my chest as if that will stop the slow disintegration of my heart. As if it will heal the gaping wound Adrian just left in my soul.

He’s always been dark, but there was at least some light when it came to me. Now, that light is gone, and all that remains is his darkness.

A sob tears from my throat, because I know, I just know that I lost a part of Adrian tonight.

The part I fell in love with.

33

Adrian

I tap my finger against my thigh as I stare out my office window.

The view in front of me gives me an urge to cut someone down.

Him, preferably.

Lia is sitting in the garden, holding Jeremy and smiling as she talks to him. Then, she directs that smile at my fucker guard, Yan.

The bastard gives her a toothy grin as he waves at Jeremy.

It’s been two months since Lia attempted to escape. Two months of constant paranoia that she’ll do it again and succeed this time.

I forbade her from going outside after that stunt, but I can do that for only so long before her depression kicks back in and she’ll need a breathing outlet.

Still, I can’t help thinking that one day, I won’t be careful enough, I won’t watch her hard enough, and she’ll vanish into thin air.

That’s why I allowed Yan to get close to her, even though that puts me in the constant mood to kill him. I thought that if he watches her all the time and forms some sort of a friendship with her, he’ll know when she plans to leave. He might not agree with all of my decisions concerning her, but he also doesn’t want her to leave. Unlike her, he knows that what awaits her out there is way worse than what is here.