Was he seriously going to shower with me sitting here?

I tore my gaze from the floor and watched as he held his long fingers under the water to test the temperature. When he was satisfied, he poured what looked like salt and smelled sweet from a dark blue and white bag. He then reached inside the large paper bag at his feet and pulled out a small bottle before pouring from the bottle.

He moved from the running water when bubbles started to form and opened the linen closet. After pulling out a thick, white towel, he walked past me again and bent to grab the bag. I almost swallowed my tongue when he turned and caught me staring. The butterflies in my stomach intensified. The only time I ever felt like this was when I had my first crush, only this felt more intense. More real.

Was it possible to have a crush on someone seven years older?

“Did you hear me?” His voice brought me back to awareness.

“What? Huh?”

“I said the water shouldn’t be too hot.”

“It’s for me?”

His face remained expressionless as he answered without emotion, “It’s not for me.”

“Oh.” I didn’t move from my spot in the corner. Instead, I tightened my arms around my legs. I couldn’t move with him in here anyway. He’d seen enough to disgust him. I was scared and mortified when I used the bathroom and discovered the blood in my panties. I panicked and ripped them off, and when I touched myself,I realized what was happening. I had no idea what to do and no one to turn to so I balled myself in the corner and cried.

He dropped to his haunches in front of me and reached into the paper bag and pulled out a box. “Know how to use these?” My eyes bucked, and I shook my head. Angel holding a box of tampons was not something I ever expected to see. The blue and orange box looked out of place in his hand. It disappeared back into the bag,and then he pulled out a package of pads.

Kill. Me.

He frowned as he ripped open the packaging before pulling out a folded square wrapped in pink paper. “I was told these are easier to use.”

“Who told you that?” I blurted. I couldn’t believe he’d gotten them much less discussed the advantages of feminine products.

Oh, God. Had he cornered some poor, unsuspecting woman in a store for help?

“Trinity.”

His answer brought my musings to a screeching halt. I watched as he ripped open the pink paper and unfolded the sanitary pad. “I—I can do that.”

He didn’t respond, but he did toss the pad into the bag and stand. “The water’s going to be cold soon.”

He made for the door, but my curiosity wouldn’t just let him leave. “Who’s Trinity?”

The muscles in his back tightened and pulled against his thin t-shirt. He stood silently in the threshold for so long that I figured he wouldn’t answer and would tell me it was none of my business. But then he bit out, “My girlfriend,” and walked out.

The door slamming swallowed my inhale. I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. Fighting my trembling legs, I stood and shed my nightshirt. The water was the perfect temperature. The salt and bubbles caressed my skin and soothed the ache in my muscles the stress had caused. Pretty soon, I was asleep until a knock on the door brought me back to life. The water had gone cold and bumps covered my skin.

“Mian?”

I quickly sat up and stared at the door, hoping he wouldn’t open it. “I’m okay!” I yelled to answer his unspoken question. After three years, we were in tune with each other, and it was as if we secretly accepted the connection and silently hated each other for it.

I waited until he left to step out of the freezing water. The large towel was soft and a godsend against the cool air. It wasn’t until I finished wrapping the towel that I realized I didn’t have a change of clothes.

I’d have to leave the bathroom with only a towel to protect me. He was always disappearing and coming back hours later smelling like weed and looking like trouble. I’ve never met his friends, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have them. Maybe if I hid a little longer, he’d leave.

Or he’d realize I was hiding again, come back, and force me out.

I really only had one option.

I put my ear to the door, but it was silent on the other side. Maybe he’d gone to visit Trinity to laugh about what a stupid kid I am. My stomach cramped, but I told myself it was because of my menses and not the thought of him with another girl.

I wouldn’t dare have a crush because not only was the thought ofusforbidden, it was impossible.