And as Jonah cracked up from his spot on the floor, knees up, feet flat on the floor, arms loose, looking shocked… something inside of me kind of… cracked.

More than it already had, it felt, and I didn’t know what the hell to do with it.

“You aren’t the first big guy I’ve foot-swept before,” I answered him, smiling back and not able to help it, or regret it either. “But you’re probably the heaviest, and now everything from my knee down is probably going to hurt because I’m a show-off, so don’t get butthurt I got you.”

This idiot just went on laughing.

And I couldn’t help but keep smiling down at him.

The rest of my life.

I thrust my hand out at him, and he met mine halfway, wrapping those fingers around me, before I kind-of sort-of helped heft him back onto his feet, even though his own muscles did most of the job.

I huffed, practically sitting down on the ground to get enough leverage. “If we were hiking in the woods and you broke a leg, you would die. You’d be left there, for real,” I joked, knowing damn well I shouldn’t but unable to stop when I was feeling in this good of a mood.

“You wouldn’t try to help me hike out?” He chuckled as he slipped his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and adjusted them.

“So the bear could get us both when it smells your blood and comes looking for you? I don’t think so.”

Another big, booming laugh came out of him, and that shit went straight to my spine. “I thought it was sharks that will hunt down something bleeding.”

I could feel the corner of my mouth pull up in a smirk. “Well then, you better hope we aren’t on a boat in the ocean together if you start bleeding, because I wouldn’t be able to lift you back on the boat either.”

“In that case, we’ll make sure Mo is around since you have all these plans to let me die if things get tough. I couldn’t see there being anything the two of you couldn’t do together if she’s anything like you.”

I hated him. I really did. And myself, because I had no business joking around with him, but I couldn’t regret it too much either. Damn it.

“I’m not scared of trying to pull you in, but I’ve torn both rotator cuffs. You should just know what to expect. It’s not my fault you’re heavy.” I tried not to smirk but failed. “But if it makes you feel any better, we’ll be able to pull you back into the imaginary boat between the two of us,” I joked, unable to stop myself.

“Good thing I’m a great swimmer,” he countered playfully. “I’ll make sure to keep my fitness up so you and Mo don’t have to worry if you’re the ones bleeding in the water.”

Me and Mo.

Well, I’d hope he’d try to save the mother of his kid. At least for that reason alone. That’s why he was still here, after all, wasn’t it? Because of her?

Something that wasn’t exactly a knot tried to form in my throat, and all I could do was manage a half-assed smile that had his grin melting into a long, loaded look.

I was worthy of love. I was loved. Just because he hadn’t….

I was fine. Great. We could be friendly. It would be easier if we were.

Jonah was watching me, and his Adam’s apple bobbed before he said, “Have lunch with me, Lenny.”

What? “I’m not going to see Mo for lunch today. Grandpa Gus is taking her to the Children’s Museum.”

Those honey-colored eyes stayed steady on my face. “I know. I heard him last night,” he said just as the door to the building swung open. “We can just talk about Mo if that’s what it takes to get you to come.”

It was second nature to glance over and see who was coming in, but as soon as my brain processed the face, a sigh built up in my chest.

It was a guy I’d kicked out of the gym two months ago.

“Hold on a second,” I told Jonah while focusing in on the man-child, who had apparently immediately spotted me too based on the way his feet seemed to stutter as he walked in. “One sec,” I said again, before turning to head a few feet closer to the door. I was already shaking my head at him. “No, man.”

Shawn’s nostrils flared. “Listen, Lenny—”

“Nope,” I cut him off. “Turn around and walk back out. It’s not happening. You’ve got another three and a half months before you can come back.” I had specifically told him the exact date he could rejoin the gym when I’d had to suspend him for repeatedly elbowing another fighter in the spine while they’d been sparring, even after Peter had told him to stop.

The guy, who hadn’t even been a member of Maio House for that long in the first place, dropped his head back, and I watched his hand tighten around the strap of the bag he had over his shoulder. “Come on—”

I wasn’t going to waste either of our times by letting him spout off some bullshit he thought would let him get away with being here. Even if it was really good bullshit, it wasn’t going to happen. “No.”

“It’s been almost three months, Lenny. Give me a break.”

I shrugged. “It’s been two months and sixteen days. You should have thought about that before you broke the rules.” I knew better than to say I was sorry. I was sorry he was missing out on valuable training, but no one had told him to do something stupid over and over again.

Actions had consequences. Everyone knew that, and if they didn’t, they should.

“I regret what I did.”

So did I.

When I didn’t respond, he managed to get out, “Can I please come back?”

“No.”

He dropped his head back again. “I said please.”

I couldn’t even feel that much remorse in me as I replied, “And I said not yet. You’ve got three months and fourteen days to go.”

“Oh, come on!”

Was he raising his voice at me? My silence was his response, and it wasn’t what he was looking for. I could wait him out.

He definitely did raise his voice then. “Are you fucking serious? I’ve got a fight in three weeks. This is bullshit!”

I raised my eyebrows at him because I knew he wasn’t fucking talking to me like that. “I get that you’re pissed off,” I told him calmly, keeping my voice just level just barely, “but don’t talk to me like that.” Not if he wanted to keep all his teeth in his mouth.

“This is bullshit!”

Was it? Just as I opened my mouth to tell him to calm down, a big figure stepped right next to me and said in a voice I had never heard out of him before, “Mate, you keep raising your voice, and we’re going to have a problem.”

It was like he hadn’t seen him behind me or something, because the moment Shawn’s eyes flicked behind me to find who was speaking, he took a step backward. And that was the last thing I noticed then because I was too busy looking over my shoulder as well.

Jonah was staring straight through this moron with these intense eyes that I had only seen once or twice in my life, which said a lot because of who I had grown up around. What I had grown up around.

But Jonah’s expression was something else completely. Maybe because he was usually so easygoing and self-contained. I had seen him, from a distance, stare down opposing players during their games—matches, tests, whatever they called it—but this one….

I had to look away from him. I didn’t miss the way Shawn shuffled back another step before flushing red and basically mumbling, “Please, Lenny. I said I was sorry. I won’t use my elbows on anyone again.”

I didn’t need to look over to feel the intensity radiating from the man at my side, and it took a whole lot of self-control not to glance at Jonah but instead focus on this other imbecile. “Three and a half months and don’t ever step up to me like that again or use that tone of voice. You were warned, Shawn. You were told to stop, and you didn’t. So it’s three months and fourteen days. Are we clear?”

A big forearm brushed my arm, and I could hear Jonah breathing steadily.

Shawn gritted his teeth together, shook his head, and then he turned around and walked back out the way he’d come.

I glanced back at the Not Really a Fucker without trying to move my head so I wouldn’t get caught. I didn’t trust my facial muscles then. I didn’t trust myself, period, honestly.

Jonah was too busy watching Shawn leave to notice what I was doing. Those crazy focused eyes followed him until the door slammed shut. Only then did he speak again. “Is there anyone else here who talks to you like that?”

I was too busy taking in his mean-ass expression to reply with more than, “No.”

Jonah lowered his gaze, eyebrows still knit together; that mouth of his hard, eyes slightly narrowed, and I really hoped more than anything that my own eyes didn’t widen at the sight of his pissed-off face. But when his mean face immediately fell off—and I didn’t feel disappointed by it, not a lot anyway—those features turned into the ones I was familiar with. Normal, good Jonah. The one who had turned pink a few days ago when I called penises sad bananas.