“It wasn’t easy on me, either. Lying there with you and wanting to be with her,” Eli said.

“For the love of God!” Carmen’s voice got even louder. “Why didn’t you just tell me then? This is downright cruel! I can’t believe you’re telling me this.”

“You need to understand that it’s over and just sign the papers,” Eli said. “And I didn’t tell you then because I wanted to wait until Natalie had graduated.”

“She’s been out of school four months,” Carmen reminded him.

“Yes, but then she was going into the service, and it was easier just to let things go until she left,” he said.

“And you wouldn’t owe a bit of child support, right?” Carmen asked.

“I’m not that person,” Eli protested.

“No, you’re just the bastard who sleeps with his wife and wishes he was with his girlfriend,” Carmen said.

“Call me what you want,” Eli said, “but just sign the damn papers.”

“So tell me about Kate. Is she younger than me? Prettier than me? Better in bed or maybe smarter?” Carmen’s voice broke.

“I’m not going there with you,” Eli said.

“Why not? You made love to me and wished it was her, so why not tell me more about the woman that you brought to our marriage bed?” Her voice sounded downright cold even to her own ears.

“I didn’t bring Kate—” Eli started.

“If you wished you were with her when you were with me, then it’s the same thing. How many more women have you slept with and then fantasized about when you were in bed with me?” Her voice raised another octave or two.

A dead silence told her that her fears about those nights he went to the gym just might be true. “Answer me! When did you start cheating on me?”

“When you were pregnant with Natalie,” he said.

“How many have there been?” she whispered.

“Come on, Carmen. I’m not going there.”

“Did Gerald and Brett know?” Her voice quaked.

“Some of the time,” Eli said. “They’ve known about Kate from the beginning. Now will you get the papers signed?”

“You got her with cheating; then you can lose her the same way. What makes you think this will work anyway?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“I’m retiring. Kate’s enlistment is up, and my twenty is in. I’m doing things different this time. I love her like I’ve never loved anyone, and we’re both ready to settle down.”

Carmen hung up on him, threw the phone on the floor, and fell backward onto the bed. “Did you know about this, Joanie?”

“I didn’t,” Joanie gasped. “I swear to God, I didn’t. Brett didn’t tell me. Lord, I hope I’m not next in line. I’m sorry. This isn’t about me. What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. I can’t imagine telling Natalie that her dad wants to divorce me. Now all this? I’m glad she can’t have mail or phone calls right now.” Carmen sat up and then stood. “Right now I hate him. I mean, I really, really hate him. If I had those papers in front of me, I’d sign them just to get him out of my life.” She began to pace the floor. “He slept with me and felt like he was cheating on her. That’s basically what he said, isn’t it?”

Diana nodded. “That’s exactly what he said. Even Gerald wasn’t that harsh when he told me he’d been seeing another woman. I always liked Eli, but I’d better never lay eyes on him again, or I just might do something that will land me in jail.”

“Where is the mad-as-hell step in that grieving process y’all’ve been talking about?” Carmen asked. “I think I found it, but I’d like to know how many more of these steps I have to endure until I get to the end.”

“Two, but if you’re really determined, you can bypass the depression one.” Diana stood with her and gave her a hug.

“Right now I’d like to bypass however many miles it is to where Eli and Kate are shackin’ up and beat the shit out of him with an iron skillet,” Carmen said.

Tootsie huffed and puffed as she entered the room. “I heard a man’s voice. What’s going on?”

Diana filled her in while Carmen continued to pace from one end of the bedroom to the other.

“Sorry sumbitch,” Tootsie growled, “telling her all that on the phone.”

“Coward is the word you’re lookin’ for,” Diana whispered.

Tootsie sat down on the edge of the bed to catch her breath. “He should have told her when he was home last. You’ve got fifteen minutes, Carmen, to throw your hissy. Go out in the yard and shake your fist at the heavens. Damn him to hell on a rusty poker. Whatever it takes, but when the time is up, you have to move on.”

“Why? I want to be mad for a long time,” Carmen said.

“Because he’s got power over you when you let anger eat away at your heart, and he shouldn’t be given that kind of control,” Tootsie said. “It’s not easy, but that’s what you have to do.”

“Did you go through this when Smokey died?” Carmen’s mouth was so tight the words could barely get out.

“Yes,” Tootsie admitted. “And one night I went outside, stomped and cussed like a sailor, beat the hell out of a metal trash can with a baseball bat, and was about to start in on the motor home when I realized what I was doing. You want a bat?”

“I live right next door to you, and I didn’t hear any of that,” Carmen said.

“I waited until y’all were all gone. It’s two miles to the nearest neighbor out here, so if you want that bat, it’s in the garage. Just don’t use it on Smokey’s pickup truck. The trees, the horse apples—all fair game. There’s also an ax out there and a bunch of logs out back that could use chopping into firewood. Don’t reckon you know how to do that, do you?”

“I was raised out in the country, and all we had was a woodstove to heat the house in the winter. I’ll be back in time for supper.” Carmen stormed down the stairs and slammed the kitchen door behind her.

“You think one of us should go with her?” Joanie asked.

“No,” Tootsie answered. “This is something she needs to work out for herself. We can support her, but she needs to get that anger out.”