“Oh—shit. No. No. You seemed stressed about it, so I thought I’d offer. You smell normal. Sort of . . . citrusy. It’s nice.”

It’s nice. Not you smell nice. An important distinction.

“Thanks,” I say with some hesitation, accepting the compliment on behalf of my Burt’s Bees shampoo.

His leg bounces up and down underneath the table. Dark jeans today.

“And what’s going on there?” I ask, pointing.

His stage fright confession comes back to me. He said he’d be fine on the radio, without a visible audience. God, he better be right.

“Ah. That’s me trying to hide how nervous I am. How am I doing?”

“Terrible,” I say. “We both are.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. This is something he does often, I’m beginning to realize. Like he doesn’t want me to know he finds something funny, or a real laugh might mess up his stoic facade.

“There’s one thing we’re good at doing together, then,” he says. He takes a drink of water, and my heart speeds up for an entirely different reason.

Focus. I flip through my stack of papers. How did Paloma make it look so effortless? Our choreographed intro, our fictional anecdotes, the sponsor breaks . . . And yet it’s impossible to prepare for everything. If someone calls with a question not in my notes, will I have an answer?

WWAMWMD?

Ruthie comes through our headsets. “Thirty seconds,” she says, a little breathless.

I cross and uncross my legs. Scratch at the mustard stain. Attempt a sip of water and dribble some down my chin.

“Hey,” Dominic says right before the ten-second countdown. Finally, his leg pauses its frenzied jiggling, and he knocks my knee with his. “Shay. It’s just like the two of us having a conversation.”

“Right. Right. We can do that.”

His gaze locks on mine. “And I’m really glad you talked me into this.”

Then Ruthie points to us.

And we’re live.

The Ex Talk, Episode 1: Why We Broke Up

   Transcript

<Fade in audio clips while “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” plays underneath>

    “You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you’re already in that cage . . .” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) “Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of . . .” (Casablanca) “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” (Gone with the Wind)

“If I want to be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn . . .” (Legally Blonde) “We should break up or whatever.” (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)

<Fade out>

    DOMINIC YUN: It was a cold December day—

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Pretty sure it was the beginning of January.

DOMINIC YUN: It was sometime in the winter. You were wearing that blue sweater— SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Green.

DOMINIC YUN: And I was wearing my favorite gray beanie.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: I really hated that beanie.

DOMINIC YUN: I hated that you hated that beanie.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Obviously, that’s not why we broke up, but poor communication is one of the top reasons relationships don’t last.

DOMINIC YUN: I’m Dominic Yun.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: And I’m Shay Goldstein, and this is The Ex Talk, a brand-new show from Pacific Public Radio. Thanks for joining us. We’re coming to you live from Seattle, or if you’re listening by podcast, somewhere in the somewhat recent past. Full honesty: This is not just our first episode but also our first time on the air like this. I’ve been a producer at the station for ten years, and Dominic’s been working as a reporter since October, which was also around the time we started dating. And earlier this year, we broke up.

DOMINIC YUN: But we still had to face each other at work every day, which I think made it easier for us to stay friends. Or at the very least, passive-aggressive acquaintances.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: We’ve both been really excited about getting behind a microphone like this and having a chance to talk about something that public radio has never devoted an entire show to: dating and relationships. That’s what The Ex Talk is about, with an emphasis on sharing stories—your stories. We’re hoping to break down stereotypes and gender roles when it comes to relationships, and in the next few weeks, we’ll have experts on the show to help us out.

DOMINIC YUN: On this first episode, we’re talking about why we broke up. We’ll take some calls a little later, but we wanted to start with our story, because clearly it’s something even Shay and I can’t agree on. Here are some other reasons couples break up these days: jealousy, broken promises, insecurity, infidelity— SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Working too closely with your partner.

DOMINIC YUN: Or maybe interrupting them constantly.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: I thought this was friendly banter?

DOMINIC YUN: I feel like that would require you being friendly.

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: I’m friendly! To my friends!

DOMINIC YUN: Okay, then—one friend to another, can I ask you a question?

SHAY GOLDSTEIN: Um . . .

Sound of papers shuffling.