“This?”

She looked away. “You know what I mean.”

He waited until her eyes met his again. “I’ve got no intentions of being your dirty little secret, Maze. I’m not hiding us. If that’s what you’re hoping for, tell me now.”

“I’m trying to be logical,” she said. “What happens after tomorrow? We go back to not speaking for years?” She had no idea why she said that. Maybe because she knew what she secretly wanted to hear—that no, they would not be going back to not speaking for years.

But Walker just looked at her for a long moment. “That’s entirely up to you.”

“Great,” she said with a soft, sarcastic snort, because when she self-detonated her life, she usually jumped in with both feet. “And let’s be clear—you did more than your fair share of avoiding me as well. At least own that much.”

He brought their joined hands up to his mouth and brushed a kiss to her palm, his eyes dark and solemn. “I do own it. I’ve been with you, and I’ve been without you. And I learned one thing with absolute certainty: my life’s better with you. You know where I stand. I love you, Maze. There are no doubts for me. All that’s left is for you to get off the fence, on one side or the other.”

Chapter 24

Caitlin’s to-do list:

—Survive the day.

Caitlin stood in front of the mirror in the bridal dressing room staring at herself. Her wedding dress was admittedly beautiful, her hair and makeup were done up to perfection, and she was confident enough to know she looked like she had walked off the cover of any of the million wedding magazines she’d read over the past few months.

But . . .

She sighed. So many buts. First, it’d rained heavily earlier, a huge sign if she needed one. Second . . . well, everything else was tied for second. All the worries, concerns, doubts . . . “What are you even doing?” she whispered to herself.

Herself didn’t answer.

Her gaze drifted to the earrings she was wearing. They were simple sapphire studs and not even real. But Michael had given them to her on her sixteenth birthday. He’d been seven at the time, which meant her mom or dad had helped him, and they weren’t worth any sort of money. But they were still one of the most valuable things she possessed.

He should be here today.

She drew a deep breath. Through all the feverish planning these past months, she’d been so sure it would all work out. She’d just kept thinking if she buried herself into things 100 percent, she’d outrun the doubts chasing her and the doubts that kept trying to tell her this wasn’t right.

But she hadn’t outrun them at all. They were right here in the room with her.

Everyone had just left to make their way to their places for the ceremony. Her mom. Heather, Maze. For this one last minute she was alone while Maze and Walker made sure everyone was ready to go for the processional.

It was quiet. So quiet she could hear those doubts incredibly clearly now, and they’d multiplied. Exponentially. In fact, they were screaming at her.

But she wasn’t a quitter. She didn’t back out of things. She didn’t flake. She came through on her promises, and she’d made one to Dillon when she’d accepted his ring.

Yes, her doubts whispered, but he’d made promises too, and he’d changed his mind on a few key things, which in turn changed everything for her.

The light knock at the door nearly had her leaping out of her skin. It was Maze, who stuck her head in the door. “Walker’s got everyone lined up, good to go. Your dad’s waiting for you.” She smiled. “You look gorgeous. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Caitlin’s mouth said, but at the same time her body—acting independently from her brain—shook her head in an emphatic no.

Maze paused, studied her, then slipped inside the room and shut the door behind her. “We running for the hills?”

Caitlin stared at the sister of her heart and bit her lower lip.

Maze blinked. “Oh shit. I was just kidding. Okay. Okay, talk to me. What’s the plan? Out the window?”

Caitlin felt a hysterical laugh bubble up in her throat, but she couldn’t draw a deep enough breath for it because the dress was too tight. “No. I’m just kidding too.” She tried to smile.

Maze narrowed her eyes. “Okay, now I’m even more worried.” She came closer, the peach floor-length bridesmaid dress she was wearing looking more like a dull orange beneath the lights.

How had Caitlin missed that? The color was awful. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I . . . just need a minute.”

“Sure,” Maze said. “Use it to talk.”

Caitlin shook her head. Because suddenly she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. “It’s this dress.” She pulled at it, or tried, but there was no give in the fabric. It was fitted within an inch of her life. But she couldn’t breathe, at all, and she turned her back to Maze. “Unzip me.”

“Um . . .”

“I can’t breathe!” She tried tugging her little cap sleeves down and couldn’t get them to budge either. “Oh my God, Maze, I’m going to die in this dress!”

“I’m trying to get to the zipper behind all these damn buttons, give me a sec!”

“Second’s up!” Caitlin tugged harder. There was a tearing sound, but who cared because suddenly she had room to breathe. Gasping for air, she let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh my God, Cat.”

“I just needed a minute.”

“Well, I don’t know how many minutes we have, but there’s sure as hell not enough of them to fix this dress.”

Caitlin looked down. She’d ripped the dress wide open in the front. Her breasts were barely contained in her pretty white lace demi bra.

Maze eyed the damage. “Looks like your girls are making a run for it whether you’re with them or not.”

Caitlin laughed and cried at the same time.

Maze narrowed her eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“Okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean, okay? It was a yes or no question!”

“Oh, I thought you were making me an offer.” Caitlin plopped down on the floor and began working on unbuckling her complicated high-heeled sandals with shaking fingers that were not working. “But yes, please, let’s get drunk. That’s the only way I’m going to get through this day.”

“You no longer have a dress to wear. I think it’s a forgone conclusion, you’re not getting through this day, at least not on plan A.” Maze dropped to her knees in front of her, gently brushed Caitlin’s hands aside, and unbuckled the sandals for her. “We need a plan B, pronto.”

“Plan B,” Caitlin said. “Run like hell. I believe you suggested the window?”

Maze shook her head, looking shocked. “Why didn’t you get out of this sooner? Like any time before I had to spend two hundred bucks on this orange monstrosity?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how god-awful it was. And I don’t know! I’m not like you, Maze, I’ve never done anything impulsive in my life! And now there’s a whole bunch of people here. And cake.”

“Cat, honey.” Maze grabbed Caitlin’s hands and looked into her eyes. “Those aren’t reasons to get married when you’re not ready. Tell me this. Do you love him?”