My sister Carmen thinks I need to get over it and talk to him. I keep assuring her I am talking to him—I just find being in his presence safer with the buffer of his parents. It’s very twelve of me.

I grab the grocery bin from the passenger seat and head for the back porch. Splashing draws my attention toward the lake. Hands appear at the edge of the dock, a head following after, then thick, broad shoulders. In a smooth, seamless surge, Ethan pulls himself out of the water. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen Ethan Kase without a shirt. But I can say with absolute certainty that he has grown into his height. The lanky build of his youth has given way to a body lined with heavy muscles and incredible definition that can only be achieved with countless hours of disciplined workouts.

For a moment I envy Ethan. Not because he’s a specimen of near physical perfection, from the powerful thighs to the trim waist, six-pack abs, defined chest, and a gorgeous face—that despite his career and the potential for scars and damage, he’s even more handsome. I’m not envious of his beauty—although I can certainly appreciate it. I’m envious of his determination to fight so hard for his dream, for the one thing he loved more than anything. More than me. The last thought pricks my heart.

Until he showed up a week ago, I thought I’d gotten over the loss of him, but clearly that’s not the case. And it’s a big part of the reason I’m avoiding spending any real time with him. I fear my heart remembers loving him more than it remembers how he broke it.

He lifts a hand in a wave and I realize I’ve been spotted, and also that I’ve been staring. I nod in acknowledgment since my arms are full, and move toward the screen door—quickly so I can get inside the house before Ethan corners me. The last thing I need is a close-up of all that gorgeous. He still has the ability to make me lose my head and to send my hormones into a tailspin. Or maybe that time of month is coming and that’s the reason for all the tingles in my sensitive places.

“Hey, DJ, wait up—let me help with that!” He jogs quickly toward me, his wet body glistening in the morning sun. It really is unfair that he looks this good, and here I am dressed in scrubs with a llama pattern all over them. It’s my day of rounds in the pediatric unit, and the kids like the fun prints.

I shift the shopping bin of groceries to my hip and reach for the door handle, but it’s heavy, so I have to readjust when the bin slips. By the time it’s safely tucked against my side, Ethan is in front of me, not even out of breath despite having run all the way from the dock. He grabs the handles of the bin, and my immediate reaction is to hold on tighter.

He tilts his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, possibly at my resistance. Eventually I relinquish the bin; otherwise, I’m going to make an awkward situation even more uncomfortable.

Ethan is mostly naked. I’m trying not to gawk, but dear lord he looks amazing, so I’m not above ogling. Seeing him like this, fresh from the lake, hair dripping, water beading across his chest, reminds me of a time when life was so much simpler. Back when the most complex decision was whether we studied first and made out after, or vice versa. More often than not, making out took first priority. Otherwise Ethan found it hard to keep his hands to himself and the studying suffered.

Except he’s a man now, with an incredible career and a body to match, and I’m an almost-divorcée who abandoned my dream of becoming a doctor. Instead, I settled for the man who I thought could fill the hole the one in front of me created.

“Everything okay?” Ethan ducks his chin a little, bringing his face closer to mine.

“Huh?” I shake my head, realizing I’ve been staring at his chest. Again. “Oh yeah, fine. Jeannie asked me to pick a few things up for her.” As if that wasn’t obvious based on the bin he’s holding.

“She could’ve asked me so you didn’t have to go out of your way.”

I shrug and keep my eyes on the contents of the bin. “I was already at the store, so it wasn’t a big deal; besides, I wanted to check in anyway. Jeannie mentioned you have to head back to Chicago.”

“Yeah, for a couple of days. I have to get my house on the market and tie up a few loose ends.” I hold the door for Ethan, glancing at his ass as he steps onto the welcome mat. He’s wearing boxers, not swim shorts, which is odd, but I’m not opposed to their see-through quality or the way they cling nicely to his sculpted glutes.

I follow him inside and startle at Jeannie’s suddenly stern reprimand. “Ethan! Are you wet? Do not trek through the house like that!”

Ethan takes an automatic step back. I mirror his movement, but the door’s already closed, so I have nowhere to go. I raise my hands in an attempt to prevent being pinned against the door. My palms connect with wet, cool skin. The sensation is reminiscent of licking a nine-volt battery on a whole-body frequency. Heat hits me, pushing through my skin, electrifying me. Ethan goes still and stiff.

“Is that Delilah behind you? You’re crushing her! Let her past!” Jeannie barks.

Ethan steps to the side but stays on the mat so as not to drip all over the floor and risk being yelled at again. I slip around him, fingertips dragging across his skin as it pebbles, and a small shiver causes the muscles under my fingers to quiver.

“Sorry,” I mumble and attempt to take the bin, fingers wrapped around the edge next to his.

“I got it,” he says quickly. “It’s heavy.”