“I totally agree.” I clasp both of her hands in one of mine and bring them to my lips. They smell a whole lot like sex. This fire, her refusal to back down, is something I’m glad she never lost. “Do you remember the first time I kissed you?”

“Of course I remember. What does this have to do with anything?”

“I’m getting to that. Do you remember what precipitated that kiss?”

Lilah shrugs. “I don’t know. You were in a bad mood. We were walking home from school through the forest, and you just laid one on me. I hadn’t been expecting it.”

It’s amazing how memories shift and change with time, or how one person’s recollection of events varies so greatly from another.

“You were wearing jeans and a button-down shirt that was a purple, green, and black plaid. The first three buttons were undone and the black camisole underneath came down a little low, so you had to constantly adjust it to avoid flashing cleavage.”

“Is there a point to this?”

“Yes.”

“Wanna get to it, then?”

I smile at her irritation. Before she can go off on me for continuing to be a jerk, I press on. “You were standing in front of the school, waiting for me. I remember thinking how beautiful you were and how unaware you seemed to be about all the attention that outfit was getting you, how many guys I’d had to stare down between classes, how freaked out I was because all the stupid posters for the Halloween dance had gone up that day, and you were so damn excited to go to your first high school dance.”

I can see the moment when the memories start to click into place for her. “I was talking to Luke.”

I nod. “I interrupted right when he was asking if you were going to the dance.”

“You came up behind me and scared the crap out of me.”

“That’s right.” I did a lot more than that. I’d staked a claim when I’d come up behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and lifted her off the ground while I stared Luke down. My expression had said everything. She’s mine. Don’t even think about it. “When we were walking home, all I could think about was how some guy was going to get the balls to ask you to go to that dance and how I’d have to kill him. And that was the moment I realized I was in love with you, and there was no way I was letting anyone come between us.”

She’d been chattering about the dance and costumes, hands flailing wildly, eyes alight with excitement. She’d asked if I was going to go, and when I shrugged, I’d wiped the joy right off her face. I wanted to put it back, so I suggested we go together. She’d stopped, hope quickly overshadowed by uncertainty. And I saw, for the first time, that this love I’d had for her all these years had morphed into something deeper for both of us. So I’d kissed her.

It changed everything.

“I’m going to be traveling a lot starting tomorrow. Luke brought back a lot of memories, and with them, insecurities. I want this with you, Lilah. I want this feeling, your fire; I want us to work this time, and I’m worried that not being here as often is going to make that difficult. So I acted like a jealous jerk, because I am one.”

Lilah drops her head, but a smile and a soft laugh follow. “Your apologies are always so elaborate.”

“I think my behavior required an elaborate apology. I don’t want to leave tomorrow with you misunderstanding my reaction. I won’t make the same mistakes I did last time, Lilah—I promise.”

I pull her closer and wrap my arm around her waist. She comes willingly at first, but she puts a hand on my chest and pushes away, wearing a grimace. “Oh my God. My dress is crunchy. I really need to get out of these clothes.”

“I would be more than willing to help with that.”

She laughs, her anger having abated. “Of course you would.”

“We could consider it penance.”

She rolls her eyes but takes my hand, tugging me toward the stairs.

chapter fourteen

GAMBLE

Ethan

I feel like I’m standing in a minefield, when what I should be doing is celebrating. With Lilah. Naked. We won our exhibition game against Colorado.

Unfortunately, when I arrived in Minneapolis, I had a message from Lilah that she was at my parents’ house babysitting my dad while my mom went out for dinner with a friend.

He’s in a shit mood and he’s watching a recording of the exhibition game. I’m on edge. I don’t want him to pick apart my performance. I scored a goal. I should be happy about that, but now all I can do is brace for some snide comment I’m sure is coming.

I jam a pair of jeans, boxers, and a T-shirt into my duffel, throw in my toiletries bag—I have duplicates of most things at Lilah’s, but I like to have it just in case—and toss the duffel over my shoulder. We won’t leave until my mom gets back, so I figure I can get in a quick swim before we go, since the summer weather seems to be holding for a while longer. I’m sure Lilah would be more than happy to escape Eeyore moping in the lounger.

I climb the stairs, dressed in a pair of board shorts, pausing at the top when the game goes to a commercial and my dad looks to Lilah, who’s stretched out on the couch, a pen tucked behind her ear, tapping her lip with a yellow highlighter. She’s wearing a gauzy skirt and a pale tank with wide straps.