A tear slips from my eye and I wipe it away quickly with my shirtsleeve. Another immediately takes its place.

“I know this is hard for you, Fern. I know you loved her.”

“Can I see her?” I ask.

Rose shakes her head. “They’ve already taken her … for the autopsy.”

I stare at her. “Already?”

“Yes.”

“But … when did she die?”

“The hospital called me yesterday. Apparently, she didn’t wake up in the morning.”

“Yesterday? Mum’s been dead for a whole day and you didn’t tell me?”

Rose looks surprised. “Please don’t get upset, Fern.”

I try to fathom how I could not be upset. It is, after all, exquisitely upsetting.

“I’ll take you home,” Rose says, placing a hand on my arm. “Why don’t you wait here a minute and I’ll explain what has—”

“No,” I say, pulling my arm free and wrapping it around myself. “I’m staying here.”

But Rose is already walking back toward the door to the library. “I’m sure they’ll understand, Fern.”

“NO!” It comes out louder than I intend, but at least Rose stops walking. “I don’t want to go home. I have work to do.…”

Rose stares at me. “Really? You want to stay here?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“I am.”

Rose looks confused. I’m not sure why. The library has been my home for as long as I can remember. After a lifetime together, you’d think she would have known that. But more and more lately, I get the feeling that Rose doesn’t know me at all.

* * *

I feel agitated as I walk back into the library. I don’t pause as I pass Gayle and Carmel, I just continue straight into the secret cupboard. Inside, I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Sun Meadows.

A receptionist named Jessica answers the phone. “Good morning, Sun Meadows, how may I assist you?”

“My name is Fern Castle. My mother, Nina Castle, was a patient there and I have just been informed that she has passed away. Can I speak to someone about this please?”

The receptionist tells me she’s sorry for my loss and then asks if I can hold the line. I’ve always thought that was a stupid saying—after all, what line do they want me to hold?—but today I am too upset to worry about it. After a minute, she patches me through.

“Hello?” says the voice.

“Hello,” I say. “My mother, Nina, was a patient and—”

“Fern?” she says. “It’s Onnab. I was one of your mother’s nurses. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Oh,” I say, realizing that until that very moment I’d been holding on to hope that it had been some kind of terrible mistake. “Thank you, Onnab.”

“Your mother was a very nice lady,” she says. “I always enjoyed looking after her.”

I inhale a wobbly breath. “Thank you, Onnab. I wanted to check if you knew anything about the cause of Mum’s death yet.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It will be at least a few days before we get the results of the autopsy.”

I sink into the armchair.

“It may be of some comfort that I saw your mother the evening before she died. She seemed happy. To see your sister at last, I think, really lifted her spirits.”

I repeat the sentence in my head, making sure I had interpreted correctly. But I couldn’t have.

“Mum saw Rose?”

“Yes. At least, I think it was her. Small girl. Brunette?”

I can’t believe it. Rose visited Mum. She visited her.

I let my head fall back against the armchair. Any anger I’d felt toward Rose dissipates. What that must have meant to Mum.

“Is there anything else I can help you with, Fern?” Onnab asks after a brief silence.

“No,” I say, wiping a tear away. “You’ve already helped enough.”

I don’t know how long I sit in the secret cupboard. It might be ten minutes. It might be an hour. No one bothers me. Every time I think it’s time to leave, I don’t even get to a standing position before I change my mind and decide to stay where I am. I am starting to suspect that I might spend the night in this cupboard, when I hear a gentle knock at the door.

“Fern, there’s a gentleman here who would like to talk to you.”

It’s Carmel talking. I think about staying silent, pretending I’m not here. I can’t face anyone.

“I told him I wasn’t sure if you were here or not. It’s … Wally? I can send him away, if you don’t want to—”

“No!” I say, too quickly and too loudly. “I’ll talk to him.”

I’m not thinking clearly, obviously. I have no explanation for the fact that I’m visibly pregnant. At the same time, I simply can’t be this near and not go to him. It is a physical impossibility. For now, I put Mum’s death away in the back of my mind, to think about later. Wally and Mum all together is simply too much for me.

I practically run to the reception area. Carmel is at my heels. As Wally comes into view—wearing his suit again—I am so overcome that I can’t even manage a smile.

Neither can he. His eyes are fixed on my belly. “So it’s true,” he says. “You’re pregnant.”

“How did you know?”

“Rose told me.”

“What?” I decide I must have misheard. “Rose told you I was pregnant?”

He nods.

“But when did you see Rose?”

Wally’s face gets a funny look to it then, like he is sucking the inside of his cheeks. I’m not sure if he’s confused or upset or even … angry. “Rose has visited me quite a few times over these past few months, Fern.”

Now I’m certain I’ve misheard.

“She phoned me several months ago—she wanted to see me to talk about you, she said. She came to my office.”

It doesn’t make sense. Rose has spent these past few months telling me not to contact Wally. She couldn’t have contacted Wally herself.

“She’s been back several times since,” he says.

“To talk about me? Why?”