“Shit!” I say. A baby noise bubbles from Willow, a squawk of sorts, as if in solidarity with me.

“Fern? Is that you?”

I freeze, inside the stall. It’s Carmel’s voice.

“It is you!” she says, after a minute. “I recognize your shoes.”

I look down at my shoes—sequined silver sneakers that are unlikely to belong to anyone else at the library.

“Are you alone?” I ask.

“Yes. It’s just me.”

I open the door. Carmel opens her mouth as if to say something but then she sees Willow. She sucks in a breath. “You had your baby!”

“Yes.” I smile down at her, wriggling in my arms.

Carmel creeps closer. “A girl?”

I nod.

Carmel’s hand goes to her heart. “She’s beautiful, just beautiful, Fern.” She’s smiling, but suddenly her expression becomes concerned. “But why aren’t you in the hospital?”

My smile falls away.

“What is it, Fern? Is everything all right?”

“Rose wants to take my baby away from me.”

“No,” she says. “That’s ridiculous. She wouldn’t.”

“The thing is … I agreed to it. I thought the baby would be better off with her. But … I’ve changed my mind.”

Carmel listens to me intently, her face full of concern. It’s the first time anyone has listened to me intently in a very long time. I feel unexpectedly teary. “Have you told your sister this?”

I shake my head. “Rose has a way of getting what she wants.”

“Ah,” Carmel says. “I too have a sister.”

We look at each other for a moment and I have a strange feeling. Like an understanding traveling between us. It’s nice.

“So, what is your plan?” Carmel asks.

“I need to call Wally. I think he can help. But there’s no reception in here.”

“Then we must find reception,” Carmel says determinedly. “The library is quiet right now. Keep your head down and no one will pay you any attention.”

Carmel checks that the coast is clear and then we head through the vestibule. Gripping Willow tightly, I push the door onto the library floor open. By the time I see the uniforms, it’s too late to turn around. They’ve already seen me.

“Now,” Carmel says, standing between them and us. “I really don’t think this is necessary—”

I don’t hear the end of Carmel’s statement, as I have started to run. I don’t get far. A policewoman catches up to me as I reach the side door. She doesn’t grab me, perhaps because of the baby in my arms, but she uses her body to block me into a corner. If I were willing to let go of Willow, I could have taken her down with a hip throw. But I’m not.

“We’ve spoken to your sister,” the policewoman says. “You need to give us the baby. We’ll take good care of her, I promise.…”

She reaches for the baby and I rear back, twisting away from her. It startles Willow and she starts to cry. I’m considering knocking the policewoman down with a leg sweep when I see someone standing at the front desk at the other end of the library.

Rose.

It’s Gayle at the desk, and she doesn’t appear to be giving Rose a satisfactory answer, because Rose slams her hand against the desk. Then she glances around wildly. When we finally lock eyes, for a moment I think I must have mistaken someone else for her. She looks different. She looks … like a madwoman.

“Give her to me!” she cries, running toward me. I hold Willow closer, knitting my fingers together. Breast milk saturates my chest.

“Ma’am, I really need you to give me the baby,” the policewoman says again.

I turn away from her, and from Rose. I don’t let go of Willow.

I cry. I moan. I sob. I even bite the padded edge of the bed. Once again, like when I was in labor, I am an animal. Willow is gone. Rose was saying I kidnapped her, so they took her from me. The ache of being away from her is nearly overwhelming. My breasts are rock hard, my dress is drenched. My body still aches from giving birth to her. But I don’t even have a photograph of her. Even if I did, my phone is out of charge.

“It’s all right, miss,” the nurse by my hospital bed says to me in a strange, flat sort of voice. It’s not Beverly, nor any nurse that I recognize from the maternity ward. I’m in a different part of the hospital. The psych ward. This nurse has a stern face, pinched lips, and nude stockings that don’t hide her varicose veins. “The doctor has given you a sedative, so you will feel much better soon.”

“Where is my baby?”

The nurse glances at the doorway. Two police officers stand there, talking quietly to each other. I recognize the policewoman as the one who chased me across the library. I never did hand over the baby. Karate had made my finger strength superior to most people’s, and they had no chance of getting her off me without a fight. Eventually, they’d held Rose back and allowed me to carry Willow outside, while the police formed a loose circle around me, in case I made a run for it. Outside, there had been four police cars waiting. All of them for me.

“There’s just a bit of confusion that needs sorting out,” the nurse says. She gives me a look that I can only describe as pity and gives my hand a gentle pat. I pull my hand away.

“I want to see my baby,” I say.

* * *

The sedative must work, because before I know it, I’m waking from a deep sleep. Nothing has changed except that now, a man is in the corner of the room, talking to the nurse with the varicose veins.

“Where is my baby?” I ask again, quieter than before.

The pair of them startle, then turn to look at me.

“Hello,” the man says, grabbing a chair and dragging it swiftly up to the bed. “You must be Fern.”

I don’t reply. He sits down. “I’m Dr. Aston. I’m a psychiatrist. How are you feeling?”

“Not good. I want to go home.”

Dr. Aston nods, looking down at his notes. “Well, hopefully we’ll be able to arrange that soon, but first I want to have a chat with you about how you’re feeling. I understand you’ve recently given birth?”

“Yes. Where is my baby?”

“She’s in the pediatric wing. I’ve just spoken with her doctor and she’s absolutely fine. I’m told she’s being taken care of by your sister.”