And then it occurred to me that’s why he’d taken me to this edge. Why he’d made me want him to the point of insanity, until the only answer could be yes. Because he knew how I was, and he was getting ahead of me now before my overthinking kicked in.

I would have laughed if I wasn’t so out of my mind.

He hiked an elbow behind my knee and somehow managed to drive himself deeper. I let out a sound that made me grateful there was no one within two miles to hear it, and he released a moan of his own. I knew he was close. His body went rigid as he neared the end, and the orgasm that he’d been working me up to built and built on top of itself. And then, when he groaned and I felt the warm pulsing inside me, my climax tipped over and decimated me.

It was the fireworks finale on the Fourth of July, a dam breaking, an atomic bomb. I was leveled. I had nothing left after it. I couldn’t even move.

I lay there, staring up at the sky through the mesh ceiling of the tent, seeing stars twinkle across my vision that had nothing to do with the galaxy.

His nose nuzzled my neck. “Are you okay?” he whispered, still out of breath.

I made a tiny squeaking noise, and he laughed. He leaned down and kissed me gently, closing his eyes, smiling against my mouth.

There was a reverence in the way he held me, and all I could think was how much I liked the weight of him on top of me. How safe and anchored and grounded I felt.

How cherished.

I never wanted to move from this spot.

There was nothing outside of this tent tonight. Nothing.

There was nowhere to be, no phone to check. No lights to turn off or doors to wonder whether I’d locked. Not even the faint white noise that comes with civilization. The only person I wanted with me was here, and the serenity of the lake and woods combined with Jason’s gentle affection made me relax in a way I hadn’t known was possible. Like I’d been tense my whole life and hadn’t even known it.

All that was left was us.

A big scary world existed somewhere, where bad things happened and people you cared about died—or left you on fourteen-month tours around the world. But tonight there was only this. And I was happy, and grateful, to have it.

Even if it wouldn’t last.

*

The next morning Tucker met us at the water’s edge as we docked back at the shores of Camp Larsen. Jason grabbed my ass before he picked up the canoe and pack, and I giggled and hit him.

We were going home today, and we’d already decided that he was spending the night at my place tonight.

He carried everything to the garage, and I came in with him to drop off the paddles, both of us grinning. He hadn’t stopped smiling since he opened his eyes this morning. Neither had I.

We never did see those lights. We’d been a little distracted—all night. I was sore and tired, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Well, unless of course he wasn’t leaving me. But that was something I wouldn’t let myself think about right now.

I followed him through the garage with Tucker, looking around at all the toys. The Larsens were definitely outdoorsmen. They had all the things. Kayaks harnessed to the ceiling, three snowmobiles under covers, a wall of fishing gear. Even a motorcycle was parked in the left stall.

“Your dad rides?” I asked as I looked down at a carefully organized box of fishing lures.

“Oh, the motorcycle?” he said, shouldering off the enormous pack and putting it in the bed of Paul’s truck. “No, that’s mine.”

I looked up and blinked at the bike.

His? Jason, on a motorcycle? I didn’t know he—

Sand.

Invisible grains of sand began to fill my lungs. Every breath gave me sand. It poured down my throat, heavy and thick, taking up the space in my chest, robbing me of air, drying out my mouth.

Can’t breathe.

Couldn’t get anything past the weight of it. I gasped. Tears spilled down my cheeks. The panic spread, the sand coursed through my veins. I couldn’t make it stop.

It drowned me.

Chapter 24

Jason

? burn slowly/i love you | The Brazen Youth

I had just slid the backpack into Dad’s truck and slammed the tailgate closed when I heard Tucker’s whimpers. I came around the driver’s side and saw Sloan with her hands over her mouth, gasping for air.

I had her in my arms in an instant.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” I held her and tried to tip her chin up, but she buried her face in my chest and sobbed.

Her whole body shook. She was absolutely terrified.

My heart started to pound. “Sloan, what happened?” I could hear the panic building in my voice. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She didn’t reply.

I glanced over her shoulder and my eyes glided over the black wheels of my bike and then I realized…“Is it because of the motorcycle?”

She managed a nod.

Without another word I scooped her up into my arms and ran with her outside.

It had been two years since Brandon’s accident. She must have seen thousands of bikes by now. There was only one reason this could be upsetting her. Because it was mine.

When I set her feet down on the lawn, I held her by the arms and dipped my head to look at her. “Sloan, we’re going to work on your breathing, okay? Look in my eyes. In and out, slow and steady. Can you do that?”