She did have a point.

She put the baby in his high chair. “And when she grabbed him, same thing. He probably thought nobody saw it and he was sparing you the visual of a famous train wreck touching his dick. And he’s not special, believe me. She’s always doing shit like that. She’d give the pope a lap dance.” She sat on Josh’s knee and put an arm around his neck.

I mopped at my nose. “You know, maybe I wouldn’t be so upset with him if he’d told me about this without letting TMZ pick it up first.”

“You guys don’t have typical problems, I’ll give you that,” Josh chuckled, pulling on his beer. “Just tell him that from now on he needs to be honest with you so you don’t get blindsided when stuff like this happens.”

I clutched my damp wad of paper towels, miserable. “I did. He said he can’t prepare me for every story the tabloids might make up. He sure as hell could have prepared me for this one, though,” I mumbled.

My phone rang. I picked it up and looked at the screen.

It was him.

My gaze shot to Kristen. I hovered a finger over the Answer Call button. I wanted to hear his voice. Talk to him. But I wanted the old Jason. The one from before. I thought about how he’d been so oblivious to how he’d let this happen, how he’d purposely hid all this from me and how dismissive and unapologetic he’d been.

I sent his call to voicemail and shut off my phone. What could he possibly have to say that would change my mind? The only thing that could make this different was complete and total transparency in our relationship, and he’d made it very clear he had no intention of participating in that.

Kristen shook her head at me. “You only have ten days, Sloan. That’s all you get before his tour. Are you really willing to let this be the thing that breaks you guys up? You can end it now, like this, or calm the fuck down and give him a chance and at least enjoy the time you have left.”

I shook my head. “It’s bigger than that, Kristen. This isn’t just about the next ten days. It’s about whether I’d even consider dating him again when his tour is over. He wants me to wait for him. And you know what? I was actually considering it. I figured, what’s the harm? It’s not like I’m gonna be dating anyway. We can just put our relationship on hold, do what we have to do, stay faithful to each other, and get back together when his tour’s over. And all I can think now is, how much crap will I learn about him this way while he’s gone?”

I wiped at my nose. “Even if I forgive the lying—the omissions, which he didn’t even seem to be sorry about—what about the next time? And there will be a next time. He was right, this shit is going to happen. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this with him again and again while he purposely keeps me in the dark. I mean, if he didn’t feel like Lola Simone and the song sitting at number two on the damn music charts warranted mentioning, what else isn’t he telling me? Am I just going to find out about his skeletons with everyone else when they hit the celebrity gossip circuit?” I shook my head. “I’m not cut out for this life and I don’t think I really realized it until today.”

Kristen and Josh looked at me like they felt sorry for me and didn’t know what else to say.

“I’ve been able to compartmentalize this whole fame thing because I didn’t ever see the Jaxon side of him. And now all of a sudden it’s this enormous, glaring spotlight on everything,” I said, waving my paper towel around.

My chin started to quiver. “He’ll do nothing to protect me from the tabloid onslaught. He’ll keep doing things behind my back. I’ll get no warning, just like this time. Then when the inevitable happens and some story breaks, he’ll tell me I need a tougher skin. He’ll brush it off, justify hiding whatever it is from me, take no responsibility.”

I’d be a lunatic. I would be twitchy and worried, waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole time he was away.

Stuntman Mike peered up at me from my lap.

My eyes filled with tears again and I looked back and forth between Kristen and Josh. “I have to break up with him,” I breathed. “I have to do it now.”

The finality of it crushed me. Tears came again and I sobbed into my paper towel.

He’d given me no choice.

Chapter 29

Jason

? Mess Is Mine | Vance Joy

She sent my call to voicemail again.

I put my palms over my eyes and let out a ragged breath. It was almost midnight. I’d been calling and texting her all day.

“She still not talking to you?” Ernie stood in his kitchen and dropped ice into a tumbler behind the darkness of my eyelids.

“I fucked up,” I muttered.

“Yeah, you fucked up. Your first mistake was arguing with a pissed-off woman. You should have backed away slowly and agreed with everything she said. Pissed-Off Woman 101.”

I looked up at him as he set down the bourbon he’d poured me on the coffee table.

He plopped into the couch next to me and crossed his leg over his ankle, holding his own glass.

I felt haggard. The last two days had been hell. I was at the point that I’d apologize for being born if it meant she’d speak to me. I just wanted this to be over. She’d brought me to my damn knees on silence alone.