Ellis had trouble imagining that.

Zane saw what she was thinking. “That was before the booze and drugs. She was really something to look at back then. Striking, I would call her looks. But there was only one of us she wanted, and that was Lucas Rosa.”

“How old were they?”

“She was twenty-one and he was twenty-six. They were totally gone on each other. But boy could they go at it when they had a fight. They toned that down a little when your mom got pregnant. They rented a place and seemed really happy.”

“They wanted to have a baby?”

“Yeah. They were into it. All of us were excited for them. You had twenty or so honorary aunts and uncles when you were born. You were the little princess of our parties—and we had a lot of parties.”

Ellis remembered. Climbing into laps. “Come here to your auntie, sweetie.” Arms lifting her. Someone swinging her around like an airplane. A smoky room. A man letting her drink out of his glass. “Don’t get that baby drunk, you idiot!”

“How old was I when they broke up?”

“Three.”

“What happened?”

He dragged in a slow breath and sighed. “Luke met someone else. He started going around behind your mom’s back. One night when some of us were at their house, your mom was drunk and confronted him about it. He got mad but admitted to it. She told him to get out and never come back. Luke was really pissed about her yelling at him in front of everyone . . .”

Zane looked down at the glass of tea in his hands.

“What? What happened?”

“He jumped on his motorcycle and rode away. He’d only gone a half block when he sped past a stop sign and got hit.” He paused, still gazing at the glass. “We heard the tires screeching. It was weird—we all knew right away what’d happened and ran over. We watched him die.” He looked into her eyes. “You too. You were in my arms.”

Ellis tried but couldn’t remember. But she could still see the faces of her many babysitters, her “aunts and uncles,” as Zane had called them. Now she understood they had been helping her mother after Lucas died.

“Your mom was never the same,” he said. “She thought she’d killed him. But she never said that. She’d only say how much she hated him for going off with that other woman. All that love she still had for Luke became hate. It totally wrecked her.”

“I guess I can see why she never told me about him.”

“You were really rough for her; you looked so much like him. She was too hard on you. And when you got older, she sort of pretended you weren’t there. But I guess I don’t need to tell you that.”

He didn’t. Ellis had always assumed she’d had some deficit that made her mother hate her. But all along it had been about her father.

“When I started seeing her, I tried to be there for you, Ellis. I really tried. I owed that to your daddy. I loved that guy.”

So there was the truth. Zane had come into her life because her mother, as he’d said earlier, was like an addiction for him. And he’d become her almost father because he had loved his friend, not her. Even worse, he had probably been taking care of her to appease that striking woman who’d first chosen his best friend instead of him.

Ellis glanced at River. His expression was inscrutable. He looked like he was trying to read her, too. As if they were playing a game of emotional poker. If she let him see that Zane had created a whole new level of pain for her, would he be glad he’d been its architect?

“All that love became hate,” Zane had said. Was that what happened to River when Ellis left him?

Zane stretched up in his chair and rubbed his hands on his thighs. “Well . . . I’m glad I finally told you all that. It’s bothered me some that you didn’t know.”

Bothered me some. Ellis almost laughed at the irony.

He grinned, blue eyes sparkling in that way Ellis had loved when she was little. “I’m glad you’re not dying, Ellis.”

“So am I,” she said.

“You always were a funny one.” He rose out of his chair. “I’d better get going.”

She stood. “You’re welcome to rest first.”

“Thanks, but I’ve got somewhere to get to. Do you remember that friend of your mother’s and mine called Rocky?”

“Of course.”

“He’s got a little place near Daytona Beach. I told him I was coming to Florida, and he’s having me over. We’re gonna go ocean fishing and have some bro time.”

“Good thing I’m not dying slowly to keep you,” she said.

He laughed. “Rocky’ll be glad to hear it’s not true. He said to tell you hello.”

“Tell him the same.”

“I will.” He walked to the door, turned around. “Come here. I want a hug from Luke’s pretty girl.”

She was relieved to discover she wanted to embrace him. She felt no bitterness. Zane had taught her about love when her mother couldn’t. What did it matter if he had or hadn’t loved her back?

“Goodbye, Zane.”

“Goodbye, Ellis. You take care now.”

It had taken more than thirty years, but finally she’d heard him say it.

7