“You want me to ask for a baby?”

“Yes, tonight and every day. Until we receive a child.”

“I’m in school. How can I have a baby?”

“I’ll take care of the baby.” She stood. “Go and do the Asking. I’ll clean the dishes.”

“I have homework.”

“The homework can wait a little while.”

Mama brought her coat. Raven put on her boots.

Before she walked out the door, Mama said, “You may go with Chris Williams as much as you like. I won’t interfere. I want you to explore the natural pleasures of your human side.”

4

Raven didn’t ask for a baby. She didn’t want one, and Mama had said she should want something with all her heart and soul when she did an Asking. If Mama felt that way, she could ask for a baby all she wanted.

During her walk in the forest, she pondered why Mama would suddenly allow her to date a boy when she’d been so against her friendships years ago. And she wondered about reproductive isolation. It was all very strange.

Strange but good. Why question the freedom that was now hers for the taking?

The next day, Raven told Chris her mother knew about their relationship. She told him she was okay with it, and they could be together as much as they liked. Chris said to celebrate, they should go on a real date. On Friday night, they went out for dinner and a movie.

Mama was curious about the date when she arrived home. Again, she asked if she and Chris had sex. Raven replied that she had not. She tried not to be angry about Mama’s prying. She reminded herself that Mama was very different from other people. Her fascination with Raven’s attraction to Chris must come from her deep connection to the earth’s natural cycles of reproduction.

On Monday, Chris asked Raven over to his house to do their homework. Both his parents worked, and his older brother was in college, which meant they had the place to themselves.

He showed her around his house, which was small and neat. Then he took her hand and led her to his bedroom. The room was similar to Jackie’s and Huck’s but with more sports posters and trophies. Raven sat at his desk to do math problems while he rested on the bed to read an English book he had to finish.

Raven had hardly started when Chris got up, closed the door, and locked it. “Get over here, beautiful,” he said, pulling her to the bed.

They kissed and tussled. Raven liked tickling and play fighting with him almost as much as kissing. It reminded her of her summer with the boys. He always let her win their mock battles. Raven sat up on top of him and looked down at his face. He liked when she did that.

“Remember that first day we met?” he said. “We were playing softball, and your bird flew down and landed on your shoulder. I had no idea what was going on. I thought you were some kind of magic girl.”

She smiled and traced her finger around his navel.

“Reece used to call you Cinderella, but to me you were more like the witches and wizards in stories. I swear I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d turned into a bird and flown into the forest with that bird you raised.”

He had seen her true being—her raven spirit. She was afraid to respond.

Abruptly but gently, he laid her down on the bed. Leaning over her, he said, “I’m in love with you, Magic Girl. Do you know that?”

In love. Those were big words. She knew that from the books she’d read. Those words and what he’d said about her being a bird had her unable to speak.

“I want to make love to you,” he said. “Really make love.”

“Now?”

“Yes. If you’re ready.”

Was she ready? One part of her wanted to; another didn’t. It must be her human and spirit sides in conflict.

“Not to ruin the moment, but I have condoms,” he said.

He seemed to interpret her silence as willingness. He lifted off her shirt. He’d never done that before. She liked the way he stared at her chest and pink lace bra. She had ordered the bra and matching panties with him in mind. Mama had let her buy pretty underwear after she found out Raven had a boyfriend.

He put his hands and lips on her chest. “Raven, I want you. You’re so beautiful.”

His voice and eyes were different. What a strange power her body had over him. Or was it her spirit side?

He unfastened her jeans and slid them down. He touched her in places he never had before. She touched him, too. She did want to make love.

And yet, half of her remained infuriatingly detached. Like a raven perched on a distant branch. It couldn’t feel what she did.

Chris stopped touching her. He leaned over and looked into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

She wasn’t okay. She didn’t know why, but she wanted to fly away. She wished she could. Just lift away from that bed and disappear into the sky.

“Are you afraid?” he asked.

“Yes.” She was afraid. But of what she wasn’t sure.

“Afraid it will hurt?” he asked. “I’ll go slow.”

The urge to fly away grew stronger. What was her spirit side trying to tell her?

She slid out from under him and put on her shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Why?”

“I think I pressured you.”

“It’s okay.”