7

The last bell signaled winter vacation. The halls were loud with celebration.

Every year Raven wondered what it would be like to live in that world, to have all those fun events to look forward to. Throughout the day, she heard talk about what presents people were getting, and family visiting, ski and beach vacations, and what people were giving their boyfriends or girlfriends.

She had nothing to look forward to. Days away from school were no joy. At first it was nice to have a rest from studying. Then the monotony set in. And this year would be more difficult because Mama was sick. Rather than escape the constant worries for a few hours, they would be there all day and every day.

And there would be no Jackie. For almost two weeks.

She met him at his car. “You look less than merry,” he said as he started the engine.

“I don’t like winter break.”

“Don’t you like sleeping in?”

“That’s overrated.”

“What about Santa?”

“Santa has never stopped at my house.”

“You don’t get anything?”

“My aunt will send me a gift.”

“Nothing at all from your mother?”

“No.”

He pulled into a line of cars waiting to get out of the school parking lot. “I know something that will make you like winter break.”

“What?”

“A little Christmas party at my house with our old crew: Reece, Huck, my mom, and me. This Friday.”

“Reece is coming?”

He smiled. “I knew that would do it. He’s sleeping over. We’re having dinner around six.”

Why was he tormenting her by telling her this?

“Come on! Don’t say you can’t. Your mom let you go all over the place with Chris last spring.”

“That was Chris. This is—”

“I know, the forbidden land. Not one foot, etcetera.”

“It’s not funny. I really want to come.”

“So come. I’ll pick you up. I’ll be at your gate at quarter to six.”

“I haven’t asked her yet.”

“We have to preplan because you don’t have a phone.”

“I don’t need a ride,” she said.

“That’s a long walk. And the stream will be too cold for wading. Just let me pick you up.”

“You know I can’t agree right now.”

He went silent. The quiet in the car didn’t have its usual companionable ease. Raven kept her face turned away, looking out the side window at the snow-dusted woods and fields.

He parked in front of her gate. She lifted her backpack off the floor.

“Will you ask about the party?”

“I have to see how she is.”

“Is she . . . ?”

“Is she what?”

“Is she always like she was that day?”

He hadn’t mentioned anything about that day. And she was certain he hadn’t told anyone about Mama threatening him with a gun—as Chris had.

“She was unwell,” she said. She opened the door to prevent further discussion of her mother.

“Please at least ask her,” he said.

She stepped out of the car. “I don’t understand why you’d do this when you’ve known the situation all these years. It’s kind of mean, Jackie.”

“Mean! Huck and I wanted you and Reece to do something fun for Christmas. His mother doesn’t do anything for the holidays either. How is that mean?”

“Does Reece know it’s a pity party?”

“Oh my god, are you serious?”

“Does he?”

“You know what? He does know we’ve invited him over all these years to give him a break from his mother. And he’s okay with that because he gets it. He knows we really care about him. And he really cares about us. If you see something wrong in that, I’m sorry.” He leaned over the passenger seat and pulled the door closed.

She backed away as he put the car into gear and drove away. Her feet felt almost too heavy to walk.

Mama wasn’t in the house. Lately she’d been going out every day. Probably asking the spirits to heal her.

Raven made dinner. When Mama got home, she was out of breath and holding her chest. She was quiet and barely ate anything. Raven didn’t ask about the party. She dared not risk getting her angry and overexcited.

The next few days, Raven spent many hours walking the land. She did Askings, not to go to the party but to heal Mama. She thought a lot about Jackie and wished she hadn’t called his invitation a pity party. She was the one who was mean. Whatever was poisoning Mama was seeping into her.

On Friday, the day of the party, Raven decided to ask Mama. She wanted to see Jackie. She wanted his little yellow house and Reece and Huck and Ms. Danner. She wanted to go back to the best summer ever.

Mama woke in a worrisome mood, muttering to spirits Raven couldn’t see. She sometimes did that before she collapsed, before she entered the world of spirits. Raven had to wait to ask about the party.

But Mama left the house, still whispering. Raven stayed home to wait for her. She wanted to catch Mama when she returned, hopefully in a good mood from being with the earth spirits.

While she read a book assigned for English class, snow started to come down fast in the late afternoon. She was worried for Mama in the cold and slippery snow. She made soup so she would have something warm to eat.