The Mixtape Page 69

“It wasn’t only her outfit. She put herself in that situation by showing up to a party. She made herself prey. If she didn’t—”

“If she didn’t what? Exist? Would you rather her live in a bubble? Would you rather she wore a potato bag? You are fucking insane and—”

Slap.

Mama’s palm flew across my cheek, making me stumble backward. My heart raced in my chest as shock filled me up inside. Even though my mother was cruel, she’d never laid a hand on me. She’d never crossed that line until that very moment.

“Mama,” I choked out as tears formed in my eyes.

“Don’t come to my house cussing like you ain’t got no sense. How dare you, Emery. This is a house of God.”

She was batshit crazy. Delusional to the truths that surrounded her.

“I hope I never see you again,” I whispered before walking away with my hand still on my stinging cheek. I couldn’t listen to her anymore. Hell, I couldn’t look at her. Besides, Sammie needed me. I didn’t have time to deal with my abusive mother.

We drove back to California, and the ride was completely silent, because I didn’t have the right words to give to my sister. It was late into the night once we arrived at my dorm, and Sammie refused to eat anything. I skipped dinner too. We were close in that way—when her stomach was in knots, my stomach ached too.

We lay in the small twin-size bed beside one another, staring at the ceiling and not speaking a word. I reached for my cell phone and headphones and handed one of the earbuds to Sammie as I placed the other in my ear. Without question, I began playing Alex & Oliver’s first album, the one that had gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life. Alex and Oliver Smith’s voices had a way of healing through the headphones. Their words fixed parts of my soul that I hadn’t even known were broken.

We still weren’t speaking, but tears were rolling down Sammie’s cheeks as her eyes remained closed and the powerful duo soothed her.

She fell asleep in my arms, but I couldn’t do the same. Not after learning what had happened to my innocent little sister. Sammie’s breaths fell from between her slightly parted lips. I studied the swollen bags sitting beneath her eyes from crying.

In that moment, I promised myself I’d never abandon her like our parents had done.

I’d be by her side throughout every storm, no matter what.

24

EMERY

Present Day

I’d never shared the truth about Reese with anyone, outside of Abigail. My chest felt as if it were on fire as I told Oliver all the history of what went down with Sammie. He listened closely, without any judgment in his eyes.

When I grew emotional talking about it, when I needed comfort, he gave it to me, wrapping me in his hold. He felt like the safest place I could reside in that very moment.

“Sammie hasn’t been the same since she left. We talk every now and again, but I know it’s different. She went off to find herself, and I can’t even blame her for that. I’d want to escape too. But I hate it. I hate that when I need her, she closes herself off. Then, like today, she reaches out to me as if nothing’s happened at all. As if I’m just supposed to pretend that everything is dandy when it isn’t. I hate it.”

“That’s a lot on your shoulders.”

“I’m okay,” I said with a smile, wiping my face. “Gosh, I did not expect to end up crying so much tonight.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“It’s probably all the wine. Speaking of, I should probably get some sleep before I tell you my whole life story.” I stood up from the ground, and Oliver followed after me.

“I’ll walk you to your bedroom,” he offered.

I nodded, not wanting to pass up the offer. When we reached the room, I paused and turned his way. “Reese doesn’t know about me not being her biological mother. So, if you can keep everything between us . . .”

“Your secrets are safe with me, Emery.”

His words soothed the aching parts of me.

He slid his hands into his pockets and gave me a slight frown. “Are you okay?”

I should’ve lied, but that wasn’t something we seemed to do with one another. “No.”

“Can I hold you again?”

I sighed and whispered, “Please.”

His large arms wrapped around my frame, and I relaxed against him, breathing him in. We stayed there for a few minutes. Maybe five. Maybe ten. Long enough for me to gather myself. Long enough for me to fall into loving the idea of being in Oliver’s arms.

As he held me, his mouth moved to the edge of my ear, and he spoke words that sent chills down my spine. “You’re the greatest mother that she could ever have.”

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