Bea walked deeper into the playa and stood. It wasn’t as though they never saw other people or structures. There were check-ins at Post. They met Rangers in the woods, in the plains. Rangers even drove up to them in trucks. But these cars and lights dazzled her, and she felt just how lonely she had become. Who were all these people, and where were they going? Was there somewhere to go to not far from here? Her heart galloped at the thought.

She heard footsteps behind her, a soft crunch, somewhat stealthy. But definitely biped. She didn’t turn around.

Carl appeared beside her.

“Got to spend some time with Glen the other day,” he said.

“Yes, you did.”

“It’s been a while since we just talked.”

“Yep.”

“Great guy.”

“Great guy?”

“Yeah,” Carl said, looking surprised. “He’s a great guy.”

“You’ve lived with him, slept next to him, shat in the same hole he shat into for years. And before that he was your mentor. And you just figured out he’s a great guy?”

Carl scowled. “No, I know he’s a great guy. I’m just saying it. It’s been a while since I said it. Can’t I just say it?”

Her knee began to bounce, a nervous tic she hadn’t felt the need for in years. She sighed. “Of course. He is a great guy,” she agreed.

“He handles the Rangers well,” Carl noted.

“He respects them.”

“I don’t know how,” Carl said, his signature irritation creeping in.

“I think,” Bea said, knowing she might be saying too much, “he wishes he were one.”

Glen had told her once that the Rangers had it best. Freedom to roam, he’d said, and still a bed to sleep in, a warm house with electric lights to ward off the darkest darkness. They’d been lying under a skin one cold night in their first year. They had been encountering a lot that frightened them, but they were also feeling emboldened by having made it so far, especially when others hadn’t. But that night Glen held her tighter and perhaps his weariness was making him honest.

He had whispered, “Imagine having the comforts of modern life but also having access to this vast, beautiful place. To know it like the back of your hand because you’ve walked across it for years and years and years and years . . .” He yawned and trailed off.

“But that’s us now, isn’t it?” Bea had asked.

“Yes and no. We’ll never see it all, I fear.”

Bea smiled, realizing this probably was an actual fear of his.

“But a Ranger will,” Glen continued. “He’ll see it all again and again.”

“But he won’t know it like we do.”

“I’m not sure. I bet a Ranger could know it like we know it. I would if I were a Ranger.” He sighed. “How did I not know about being a Ranger?” he whined. “I never saw it on those career lists, did you?”

“I don’t think so. But maybe I got different lists.” Bea wouldn’t have wanted to be a Ranger, not when she was young and deciding such things, and she guessed that Glen wouldn’t have either. The world had been different enough even then. Who could have imagined that the Rangers would be the lucky ones? “Maybe you didn’t get the list with Ranger because you’re old,” she teased. “It probably wasn’t such a good job back then. I bet they don’t even like it.”

“Of course they like it!” Glen had exclaimed.

“Shh. You don’t know that. Sometimes they look beat and irritated.”

“Because they’re dealing with Carl.”

They had both laughed.

Glen had hugged her hard then, and as he fell into sleep, his grip had relaxed little by little, reluctantly.

Far across the playa, a new car appeared. It seemed closer. From where Bea and Carl stood, its whine sounded at first like a young coyote calling from the ridge.

“Can I tell you a secret,” Carl said.

Inside Bea groaned. She did not want to be a receptacle for Carl. She didn’t think there was any benefit to being his confidante. She hmmed quietly and let him translate that as he wished.

He barreled ahead. “I tried to be a Ranger once.”

Bea snorted in surprise, but then realized she wasn’t surprised at all. “Of course you did,” she said and wondered if it had come across as snide as she felt. But Carl chuckled, pleased with himself and her reaction.

“I did. But I didn’t have what it takes, they said.”

“Did you apply again?”

“You can only apply once. I would have applied a million times. It’s all I wanted.”

“Do you know why?”

“Why what?”

“Why you weren’t accepted?”

Carl twisted his face, thinking hard, as though he had never thought to wonder. “I mean, I assumed it was because I wasn’t cozy with the idea of enforcing all their rules.”

“That makes sense.”

“The Rangers have always been real yes-men. They’re just the police in green uniforms. I wanted to be a Ranger to access this place. That’s all I cared about. I didn’t care about enforcing rules.”

“Let me guess, you told them that.”

“Probably,” Carl said, swallowing the acknowledgment, embarrassed.

She felt a familiarity creeping in like the feeling between them the other night. Like they were two people who could talk, could share things, even though she’d never believed it before.

She hugged her arms to herself, putting up a barrier. “So,” she said, being chipper. “You finally got what you wanted. You must be happy.”

“That’s the thing, Bea,” he said, casting his eyes to her briefly. “Now that I have what I wanted, I feel somehow freed up to want more. Free to want without hesitation. I think wanting is man’s natural state. Now want is an insatiable thing in me. Painful almost how much I want what I want.”

He stared hard at Bea.

She cleared her throat. “I think you just described what being a child is like.” She smiled innocently, trying to deflect his energy.

He smiled at her comment, but his stare did not waver.

She laughed. “Why are you staring at me?”

Carl said, “You know why.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“I’m not trying to tell you something. I am telling you.” His smile masked an edge in his voice. Like his wants were dangerous.

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay what?” he asked.

“Okay,” she spat. Now she felt like a child. She mumbled, “I get it. You want to fuck me.” The word, in this context, felt like dirt in her mouth.

“Of course, but that’s not it. I want to fuck everyone. It’s just what this place does to me. Like I said, it frees me up.”

“So then?”

“I’m going to stop playing nice someday,” he said.

“Oh, you’re playing nice?”

“You can’t insult me, you know that right?”

She blinked. She did know that. His forthrightness was like a slap in the face.

“Bea, I think you’re powerful. And I think we could be very powerful together.”

“What about Val?”

“What about Val?”

Bea raised her eyebrows.

“Look, Val is Val,” he said. “But Val is half the woman you are.” He said it without flattery. Just stated it flatly, as though it were fact. Bea felt bad for Val, even as she hated her. “People follow you. You lead without even realizing you’re leading.”

“But Carl,” Bea said, “none of us leads. We all make the decisions. Together.”

Carl giggled. It was a boyish giggle designed to make her feel foolish, and it worked. “You don’t think some people are influencing things to get their way? They’re getting what they want and calling it consensus. And no one is the wiser. They’re the ones leading.”

“I suppose one of those people is you.”

“Of course.”

She nodded.

“And one of them, I think, is you.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Regardless, this stealth-style leadership won’t last forever. And I’m telling you, if you’re smart, you’ll accept that we should be a team, you and me. Not whatever it is we are now,” he said, sounding a bit mournful, a bit bitter. Impatient. He put his hand on her shoulder and she winced—at his touch, at the idea that he thought they were something, anything, together. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

“Not really,” she said, dodging. But the space behind her eyes throbbed and her gaze unfixed itself so that the dark horizon became a void.

“Don’t play dumb,” he warned. “It’s beneath you.” Sharply he took her chin in his hand and snapped her to attention. She swallowed hard against his fingers on her jaw, her throat.

“One day you’re going to need me,” he said calmly. “Me. Not Juan. Not Debra.” He paused. “Not Glen. You’re going to need me. You’re going to want me. And I will be there for you.” Then his hand was gone, and she sensed he was gone. But she could still feel him lurking in the tension between her shoulders. Thought she could hear his breathing, his steps breaking the salt crust, she felt his eyes on her. She turned. He stood at the edge of camp facing her. Behind him, she saw Val watching too. And behind Val, like a child hiding behind a mother’s skirt, was Agnes.