“Right.” She brushed off a thread from his shoulder and let her hand linger. “It’s science.”

Josh’s muscles flexed under her fingers. “If it would help, I could start walking around the apartment naked as a desensitization tactic?”

“Yeah, no, I think that might kill me.”

“Well, if you change your mind you know where to find me.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good.” Josh narrowed his eyes like he wanted to say more, like he was looking for a clue somewhere on her face.

Clara opened the door back to the studio. “I’ll go home and watch a ton of porn.”

The way Josh’s mouth dropped to the ground made the whole embarrassing ordeal worthwhile. She tapped her foot. “You coming?”

“I mean, I’m gonna try not to,” Josh muttered.

Chapter eighteen

IT DIDN’T SURPRISE Josh that Clara had never visited a sex shop before. She entered the store with gigantic eyes, like she’d wandered into some kind of erotic snow globe in the middle of the Valley.

“It’s so quiet,” she whispered before wandering down the first aisle.

Josh grabbed a cart from the front of the store and followed her. “What were you expecting? A soundtrack of high-pitched moaning?” They had a lot of errands to run for the project and a limited amount of time to accomplish them.

“It looks very clean.”

Any minute now she’d pull out a magnifying glass.

The store had white walls and hardwood floors with neat hand-lettered signs marking each section. Like most boutiques opened in the last five years in Los Angeles, it resembled an artisanal coffee shop. Except instead of lattes, the chalkboard behind the counter listed flavors of organic lube.

“Did you base all your assumptions for this experience on a movie from the 1970s?”

Josh had tried desperately to avoid having Clara accompany him on this leg of the trip. He would have gone while she was tucked safely away at her day job, but the store manager who’d promised to cut him a deal on sex toys only worked on weekends.

Despite his best attempt to subtly grab his keys this morning while Clara lounged on the sofa, the jangle of metal worked like a cowbell and she’d come running, desperate for more driving practice. She’d already bamboozled him into granting her four trips behind the wheel of his car this week. After he picked her up from work, they’d spent the evenings traversing L.A.’s many neighborhoods, stopping for dinner in restaurants from Koreatown to Pasadena. Admittedly, the practice seemed to make a difference. Her driving had really improved since their first fateful trip. She could now merge with minimal hyperventilation.

Josh hadn’t figured out a way to say no to her doe eyes in nearly two months of living with her. So now, he’d have to spend the next hour suppressing a hard-on while Clara carefully examined objects and implements meant to inspire debauchery. He didn’t need the explicit stimuli to get him hard. These days, even watching Clara brush her teeth made all the blood rush to his groin.

“Do we need this?” She handed him a pair of handcuffs.

Josh ignored the way his dick jumped at the blatant excitement in her tone. “Fifty bucks? For plastic? No way. I could snap those flimsy things in my sleep.”

Clara’s breath hitched. “You could?”

Josh nodded, imagining breaking free from the ridiculous contraption to crawl across her naked body.

“Good to know.” She carefully placed the merchandise back on the shelf. “I told you not to worry so much about the budget. We’ve got plenty of money in the account.”

“It’s not about the money.” Though he had spent almost an hour last night searching for deals on bulk condoms online. “I want everything to be perfect.”

He tossed a few satin blindfolds into the cart and bit the inside of his cheek. He’d give anything to know what Clara fantasized about. If any of these accessories featured in her dreams. If he did.

He’d lain in bed last night with his hand wrapped around his cock, imagining her touching herself under those ridiculous cotton panties, pretending she wanted him the way he wanted her. Desperate, all-consuming, so hungry for him she had to stifle her whimpers with the back of her hand. If his brain worked half as hard as his dick he might have something to show for it. Josh didn’t want to tell Clara that, in addition to blue balls, he had a major case of writer’s block.

The whole project depended on his ability to craft the next Kama Sutra, and he couldn’t shake the nerves threatening to eat his intestines. Once they finished this errand, he’d have nothing left to do but actually put pen to paper. A truly terrifying prospect.

“I’m scared.” The words fell out of him like a leaky faucet.

Clara lowered the box of butt plugs she’d been studying with a furrowed brow and looked around. “Of what?”

Josh took a deep breath. “Of blowing this chance. I’ve always just shown up and pointed my dick wherever someone told me to. Now, if I fail, there’s so much more on the line. When no one expected anything from me, I couldn’t let anyone down.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. Except for my family, but that is a different story.

“Hey.” Clara handed him a novelty mug that read Fuck the Pain Away. “I’ve got complete faith in you.”

He relaxed as he watched her attempting not to giggle. At least one person found this whole process entertaining.

She picked up a twelve-inch vibrator. “Can you imagine using something like this?”

Josh covered his teeth with his lips and raised an eyebrow.

“Right.” Color splashed across her cheeks and she carefully replaced the box on the shelf. “Of course you can.”

She pointed at the next item that caught her eye, a set of stainless-steel Ben Wa balls. “Are those like whiskey rocks?”

Josh felt like her sexual Sherpa. The trouble was, he’d much rather have given a practical demonstration. Don’t think about readying her sweet pussy with your hand. Don’t think about her breathy gasp as you slip the cool metal inside her hot, tight body. Don’t . . . He threw up mental walls.

Trying to break through to his hormone-hijacked brain, he picked up a set to the left of her selection and placed them carefully in the cart. “They go inside you, actually. To strengthen your pelvic floor. But you can also use them to practice edging.”

“What’s edging?” Her words dripped with curiosity.

He swallowed hard, trying to keep himself in line. “It’s when your body is kept primed to arousal but release is postponed . . . or withheld.”

When she spoke, her words came out huskier than normal. “Why did you pick that set?”

Josh leaned toward her until he could breathe in the scent of her perfume. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to collect himself. “They . . . uh . . . come with a remote.”

Somehow they’d moved until their noses were almost touching. With barely a tilt of his head, he could capture her lips. Each exaggerated rise and fall of her chest snapped another thread of his feeble control. He tore his eyes away from hers and scanned the shopping list clamped in his fist. “We’re done in this aisle.”

When Clara disappeared around the corner, he carefully adjusted his jeans.

A few minutes later, she paused in front of a row of packaging so long that Josh abandoned his search for cock rings to see what had captivated her attention. The items in question turned out to be a set of whips with Naomi posing on the packaging in a leather bustier and poisonous-looking red lipstick. He’d forgotten she had her own line.

“I didn’t realize Naomi had so much merchandise,” Clara said, tensing her shoulders. “Have you made any progress in your plans to reconcile with her?”

“I hadn’t thought about it in a while.” A bucket of ice water doused his arousal. “We’ve both been so busy.” He supposed at this point that was still his most likely future living situation. He kept forgetting that his current home came with an expiration date. That sooner or later Everett would return and kick him out.

“Have you heard from Everett lately?” She hadn’t mentioned anything, but that didn’t mean they weren’t calling and texting each other out of his earshot.

“I got a few postcards and a promotional beer koozie with the band’s name on it in the mail.” She shook her head. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep making up excuses for him when my mother calls.” Clara turned an aggressive-looking set of nipple clamps so the box faced away from her.

“What’s the deal with your mom? I didn’t realize avoiding someone who lives across the country could be so difficult.”

Clara paused in front of a rack of magazines and frowned. “She wants me to be like her. I’m supposed to find a respectable man from a good family and settle down. Pop out some babies and then run the charity of my choice.”

“Sounds boring.” Josh winced. “I mean unless that’s what you want?”

“I think part of my problem is, I spent so long trying to please her and my dad, I never gave much thought to what I wanted. And now . . .”

Josh found a sliver of hope in those last two words. “Now?”