While I had not found living without Celia to be easy, I did find it easier when I could pretend she was a part of another world. But this, her existing in my orbit, made everything I had been repressing come bubbling up.

“She didn’t,” Harry said. “But I suspect it’s because she didn’t want to ask, rather than not wanting to know.”

“But she doesn’t love him?”

Harry shook his head. “No, she doesn’t love him.”

I turned my head and looked back out the window. I imagined telling Harry to drive me to her house. I imagined running to her door. I imagined dropping to my knees and telling her the truth, that life without her was lonely and empty and quickly losing all meaning.

Instead, I said, “When should we do the picture?”

“What?”

“The picture of you and me. Where we make it look like we’ve been caught in an affair.”

“We can do it tomorrow night,” Harry said. “We can park the car. Maybe up in the hills, so photogs can find us but the picture will look secluded. I’ll call Rich Rice. He needs some money.”

I shook my head. “This can’t come from us. These gossips aren’t playing ball anymore. They are out for themselves. We need someone else to call it in. Someone the rags will believe wants me to get caught.”

“Who?”

I shake my head the moment the idea comes to me. I already don’t want to do it the moment I realize I have to.

* * *

I SAT DOWN at the phone in my study. I made sure the door was closed. And I dialed her number.

“Ruby, it’s Evelyn, and I need a favor,” I said as soon as she answered.

“I’m open to it,” she said, not missing a beat.

“I need you to tip off some photographers. Say you saw me necking in a car up in the Trousdale Estates.”

“What?” Ruby said, laughing. “Evelyn, what are you up to?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m up to. You have enough on your plate.”

“Does this mean Rex is about to be single?” she asked.

“Haven’t you had enough of my leftovers?”

“Honey, Don pursued me.”

“I’m sure he did.”

“The least you could have done was warn me,” she said.

“You knew what he was doing behind my back,” I said. “What made you think he’d be any different with you?”

“Not the cheating, Ev,” she said.

And that’s when I realized he’d hit her, too.

I was temporarily stunned silent.

“You’re OK now?” I asked after a moment. “You got away?”

“Our divorce is final. I’m moving to the beach, just bought a place in Santa Monica.”

“You don’t think he’s going to try to blackball you?”

“He tried,” Ruby said. “But he won’t succeed. His last three movies barely broke even. He didn’t get nominated for The Night Hunter like everybody thought. He’s on a downward spiral. He’s about to be as harmless as a declawed cat.”

I felt for him, in some small way, as I twirled the phone cord in my hand. But I felt for her much more. “How bad was it, Ruby?”

“Nothing I couldn’t hide with pancake makeup and long sleeves.” The way she said it, the pride in her voice, as if admitting that it hurt her was a vulnerability she wasn’t willing to give in to, made my heart break. It broke for her, and it broke for the me of all those years ago who did the same thing.

“You’ll come over for dinner one of these days,” I said to her.

“Oh, let’s not do that, Evelyn,” she said. “We’ve been through too much to be so phony.”

I laughed. “Fair enough.”

“Anybody in particular you want me to call tomorrow? Or just anybody with a tip line?”

“Anybody powerful will do. Anybody eager to make money off my demise.”

“Well, that’s everybody,” Ruby said. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“You’re too successful,” she said. “Too many hits, too many handsome husbands. We all want to shoot you down from the air now.”

“I know, dear. I know. And when they’re done with me, they’ll come for you.”

“You’re not really famous if anybody still likes you,” Ruby said. “I’ll call tomorrow. Good luck with whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Thanks,” I said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

And as we hung up, I thought, If I’d told people what he was doing to me, he might not have had the chance to do it to her.

I wasn’t much interested in keeping a log of the victims of my decisions, but it did occur to me that if I was, I’d have had to put Ruby Reilly on the list.

I PUT ON A RISQUÉ dress that showed just a little too much cleavage, and I drove up Hillcrest Road with Harry.

He pulled over to the side, and I moved toward him. I’d stuck with nude lipstick, because I knew red would be pushing it. I was careful to control the elements enough but not too much, because I didn’t want it to look perfect. I wanted to be sure the photo wouldn’t look staged. I needn’t have been worried. Pictures speak very loudly. In general, we can almost never shake what we see with our eyes.

“So how do you want to do this?” Harry said.

“Are you nervous?” I asked him. “Have you kissed a woman before?”

Harry looked at me as if I was an idiot. “Of course I have.”

“Have you ever made love to one?”

“Once.”

“Did you like it?”

Harry thought. “That one’s harder to answer.”

“Pretend I’m a man, then,” I said. “Pretend you have to have me.”

“I can kiss you unprompted, Evelyn. I don’t need you to direct me.”

“We have to be doing it long enough that when they come by, it looks like we’ve been here for a while.”

Harry messed up his hair and pulled at his collar. I laughed and messed mine up, too. I pushed one shoulder off my dress.

“Ooh,” Harry said. “It’s getting very racy in here.”

I pushed him away, laughing. We heard a car coming up behind us, the headlights shining ahead.

Panicked, Harry grabbed me by both arms and kissed me. He pressed his lips hard against mine, and just as the car passed us, he ran one hand through my hair.

“I think it was just a neighbor,” I said, watching the car’s rear lights as it made its way farther up the canyon.

Harry grabbed my hand. “We could do it, you know.”

“What?”

“We could get married. I mean, as long as we’re gonna pretend to do it, we could really do it. It’s not so crazy. After all, I love you. Maybe not the way a husband is supposed to love a wife but enough, I think.”

“Harry.”

“And . . . what I told you yesterday about wanting a wife. I’ve been thinking, and if this works, if people buy it . . . maybe we could raise a family together. Don’t you want to have a family?”

“Yes,” I said. “Eventually, I think I do.”

“We could be great for each other. And we won’t just give up when the bloom falls off the rose, because we already know each other better than that.”

“Harry, I can’t tell if you’re serious.”

“I’m dead serious. At least, I think I am.”

“You want to marry me?”

“I want to be with someone I love. I want to have a companion. I’d like to bring someone home to my family. I don’t want to live alone anymore. And I want a son or a daughter. We could have that together. I can’t give you everything. I know that. But I want to raise a family, and I’d love to raise one with you.”

“Harry, I’m cynical and I’m bossy, and most people would consider me vaguely immoral.”

“You’re strong and resilient and talented. You’re exceptional inside and out.”

He had really thought about this.