To be honest, I regretted coming today.

Inside the Kravitz compound, I felt like I’d walked into a retirement party. Men with white hair, khaki pants, and navy blazers stood around drinking out of crystal tumblers, while their frozen-faced wives wore big hats to keep their Botox shielded from sun damage. I smiled as Blake made introductions, putting on the same plastic smile I’d used at my father’s parties for years. Outside, there were some younger guys, but Blake definitely seemed to be one of the youngest, if not the youngest. I also noticed I’d met a lot of partners named Rupert, Michael, and Larry, and while there was at least some diversity among the men, there wasn’t a single Susan, Michelle, or Christine.

“Does your firm not like women partners?” I asked discreetly on our way over to an outdoor bar set up by the pool.

Blake smiled. “We have one. We had two, but one left.”

“How many partners are there in total?”

“There are nine senior partners who manage the firm, and twenty-eight additional partners who share in equity.”

“Thirty-seven partners and you have one woman—and of course the one who left. Could she have left because she felt out of place?”

He chuckled. “Elaina left because she moved to Greece, actually. That’s where she was originally from. Her mom got sick, so she took a leave to go take care of her, and while she was there, she decided she wanted the simpler life back home.”

“Why are there so few women partners?”

“I guess because it’s not easy to make partner at the firm. The average attorney works seventy to eighty hours a week for more than ten years before they make it. You graduate law school around twenty-four, and a lot of women want a less-demanding job because they get married and have kids, or they plan to.”

“That sounds incredibly archaic.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “But it’s a work-life-balance decision. If you’re married to your job, it’s difficult to be married to anyone else. Just ask my ex-wife.” We stepped up to the bar. “You want wine?”

“Sure. White, please.”

While we waited for our drinks, I gazed around. “You introduced me to a lot of wives, so how do these guys make it work?”

“They don’t. Not with their first wives anyway.” Blake surveyed the room. “Not a single woman I can see at the moment is an original. When you marry the first time, you usually marry for love, and that person expects your love and time in return. After that doesn’t work out, you marry for companionship and convenience. All your cards are on the table, so both of you know what you’re getting yourselves into.”

“That sounds…sad.”

“Maybe. But it’s also realistic. Many women lose out on partnerships because they want a family, but just as many men lose out on a family because they want a partnership.”

I wasn’t sure if it was my mood before we arrived, or the conversation we’d just had, but a feeling of melancholy settled in. Blake’s description of a second wife made me realize that was basically what I was searching for—a companion to spend time with but never really love. It made me sad that I’d never have passion, not the kind that consumes your heart, body, and soul, anyway. Sure, there was sexual passion—that I could have. And over the last few years that had been enough. I might’ve even forgotten anything more than that could exist. But it seemed impossible to put out of my mind these days.

“Will you be okay for a few minutes?” Blake asked. “I need to hit the men’s room after the long drive.”

“Oh…yeah, sure.”

He kissed my cheek, and I actually felt relieved when he walked away. I needed to be alone for a few minutes. My stupid emotions were getting the best of me today. Yet as I stood staring into the clear, blue pool water, I couldn’t help but think about Donovan. What I felt around him was so different than what I felt when I spent time with Blake. Donovan made me want—want more, to take more risks, to trust again, to believe the world could change and be a good place. It physically hurt to keep trying to stomp all of those feelings down. I sighed and sipped my wine.

Too soon, Blake returned. “Did you miss me?” he said.

“Of course,” I lied.

A light breeze blew, prickling my skin. I had on a sundress, and I rubbed my arm from the chill.

“You’re cold?” Blake’s brows furrowed.

“I wasn’t until just now. The breeze gave me a little chill.”

Blake had a napkin wrapped around the drink in his hand. He took it from the glass and used it to wipe perspiration from his forehead. “I must’ve missed that breeze you got. If it comes again, send it my way. It’s hot as hell over here by the pool.”

I figured it was because he had a long-sleeve dress shirt on, while I was wearing a sundress. “Why don’t we go stand under the awning? I’m not really cold. It was just that little breeze that gave me goose bumps.”

“That’d be great, if you don’t mind.”

We started to walk toward the house, me in front of Blake. I’d been looking down, careful not to get my heel stuck in the lawn, but when we reached the patio, I looked up and froze. Blake bumped into my back, spilling some of his drink over my exposed skin. He apologized, but I was too busy staring straight ahead to pay attention to whatever he said.

Those goose bumps hadn’t been from a breeze after all.

I blinked a few times to make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. But the blue eyes boring into me were as real as could be.

What is Donovan doing here?

***

Now I was the one sweating.

I stood next to Blake, doing my best to pretend to be part of the conversation he was having with one of his partners, but my eyes kept going back to the man standing on the other side of the patio. Every thirty seconds or so, I glanced over at him, and each and every time I’d find him staring right back at me. I’d grown nervous that Blake was going to catch him and think he was checking me out, and it would hurt his chances of making partner. Blake had already said he wasn’t a big Donovan Decker fan. I stood rod straight, feeling like I was waiting for a car accident to happen. I could see it coming, barreling down the road at ninety miles per hour, yet I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

I’d been lost in my head as the people around me talked, until the conversation finally caught my attention.

“I see that Mills and Decker have arrived. What’re your thoughts on the two of them?”

“I like Mills,” Blake said. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders, makes solid decisions, and has put in his time. Decker’s a better lawyer, but he’s also a hothead. He acts on emotions, and that signals he’s probably not ready for partnership.”

“That’s true.” The other guy tilted his drink at Blake. “But Decker also runs circles around Mills’s billing. And he brings in a nice chunk of new business. He’s made a name for himself among the Wall Street rainmakers as one to go to when the shit hits the fan. I wouldn’t want him to jump ship and take that business with him. We need to give him a reason to stick around.”

Blake shrugged. “I haven’t decided for sure yet.” He looked over at me and winked. “I’m seeing how a few things pan out.”