Just before I grab her by the shoulders and haul her into my arms, press her against the wall, and f**k her into oblivion. That’s what I really want.

But instead, I’m alone. As usual.

“Danny! Damn it, where are you?” I move through the forest, calling his name over and over again.

He’s laughing. I can hear him. Maybe he’s in a tree, hanging from a branch and watching me as I search everywhere for him. All the while he’s laughing at my frustration. Or maybe he’s hiding just beyond the trail, behind a bush. I can’t figure out where he is. All I know is that I can hear him.

“Danny! Swear to God I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t show your ugly face now,” I yell, stopping in the middle of the trail. The sun beats its merciless heat down upon me, and I rake a hand through my sweat-dampened hair. His laughter rings in the distance, infuriating me, and I kick at a rock, pissed that he keeps doing this to me.

I’m sick of his games. All I want to do is talk to him. See him. Insult him. Laugh with him.

Just like old times.

“Fuck you, Wilder. Come and find me!”

He’s daring me, as if we’re playing some sort of twisted hide-and-seek game, and I trudge on. Ignoring the heat, ignoring how the trail narrows and becomes rockier. More treacherous. I stumble and I hear his mocking laughter, the jackass.

“Don’t slow down, follow my voice,” Danny encourages. “Don’t be a pu**y!”

His words anger me and I increase my pace, determined to catch his ass so I can kick it. “Fuck you, Cade,” I mutter, and he laughs harder.

“You can’t get me. I’ve always been the stronger one. The better one,” he taunts.

Not true.

“The faster one,” he continues. “In school, I did better in all the sports. I got the prettier girls. You were always second best, Wilder. Hell, your old man doesn’t even bother to come around and see you anymore. Well, he never really did, did he?”

“Fuck. YOU!” I break out into a full run despite the heat, how tired I am, how the sweat literally drips into my eyes. I wipe at them with the back of my hand and see Danny in the distance. Standing there, his hands on his hips, a big shit-eating grin on his face.

I want to wipe that grin off with my fist.

Clenching my hands so tight my fingers ache, I run up on him, ready to reach out and grab his shoulder, but the next thing I know, he’s on the ground. Lying flat on his back, his entire body still, his dark brown eyes wide and unseeing. Staring up at me with no acknowledgment of life, they’re completely empty.

“No.” The sob falls from my lips as I fall to my knees and gather him into my arms. His body is cold. So damn cold and stiff and I hold him closer, his face pressed against my chest, my face against the top of his head. “Don’t you die on me now, you motherfucker.”

No response.

Tears stream down my cheeks and I shake my head. “I won’t let you die.” I squeeze him so tight I know he can’t breathe and then I push him away from me, staring down into his face with dawning horror as he flops to the dusty ground with a thud.

His eyes are gone, replaced with empty, cold black sockets. He’s not Danny anymore. He’s a corpse. A skeleton. His body is brittle, his clothes, his f**king skin . . . gone.

Fuck.

A ragged sound escapes me and I leap to my feet, looking around in a panic. Now I’m lost. And if I don’t find my way back, I’ll soon be as dead as Danny.

“I gotta get out of here,” I mutter to myself as I try to retrace my steps. But it’s no use. As I continue on, I become more and more lost. Until I’ve circled back and there’s Danny again.

Lying in the middle of the rocky trail, a cold and lifeless skeleton. The goddamn skeleton sits up, his black eyes on me, his voice calm as he lifts his hand. Pointing at me, he says, “It’s all your fault I’m dead. I hope you’re proud.”

Another sob escapes me as I fall to my knees again. Hell no, I’m not proud. If I could switch places, I would. I so would. He didn’t deserve to die. Everyone loved Danny, while everyone other than Danny merely tolerated me.

I wish I were the one who died.

“Colin.” A soft, sweet voice reaches through the haze and I clamp my lips shut, trying to stave off my cries. “Colin, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”

This is no dream. I’m facing my ugly reality every single day. I let everyone in my life down.

Everyone.

“Please, Colin.” My body shakes. Her slender hands are on me, trying to offer comfort. They smooth over my shoulders before she gives me another shake, this one firmer. I had no idea she was so strong. Mentally, yes, the girl can endure anything. I admire her for that.

Love her for that, too.

Love?

Maybe I am dreaming . . .

Blinking open my eyes, I see her. Jen’s face above mine, her delicate brows scrunched together, those big brown eyes full of concern. A relieved smile curls her lips and she touches my cheek with delicate fingers. “You’re awake.” Her voice is so soft, I almost can’t hear her, and I wonder if she’s talking this way so she won’t startle or scare me.

Staring at her, I drink in her pretty, familiar features. The soft glow in her eyes, the way she touches me, makes me realize I need her in my life. I need her to open up to me again, share with me her hopes and dreams and problems. I want to help her. I want her to help me.

There’s more between us than friendship, more than our shared history. She means everything to me.