But that was the mere beginning of my life, the starting point of how I turned into this shadow.

It’s not the end.

Life might be a bitch, but I didn’t just die. I was given a second chance in the form of becoming a shadow, a chance to cut their throats one by each one.

I’m close.

After nearly thirty years, I’m so fucking close to making my mother proud. I’ve become worse than an ogre. I’m a monster with nothing to lose, and those who were behind her death will pay in the same blood that left her body and Dad’s.

It’s not only my own, the Irish, but it’s also the Russians. The one Mum trusted and gave information in exchange for getting us out—he betrayed her and was one of the main reasons behind her death.

It’s as unforgivable as the Irish fucker who killed my father in cold blood and seized his power. He tossed me aside as if I were an insect so I didn’t get in the way of his grand plans.

He’s now anxious about what will happen to him, but that’s only the beginning of it.

The Irish and the Russians will clash and eventually destroy one another. I’ll stand there and watch every second of it.

So yes, it was never about the power, the brotherhood, or whoever gets to reign. I don’t give two fucks about that or what everyone keeps plotting behind everyone else’s back.

This is about vengeance. Justice.

Life for life and blood for blood is the only philosophy I believe in. I might have stayed alive, but a huge part of me was shot dead with my parents that night, my childhood and my whole fucking life.

After I finish my call with Flame, I put on my jacket and stand in front of the mirror. Usually, Rai would slip in front of me and fix my jacket or the collar of my shirt, because nothing is perfect enough for her.

Despite the composed image she shows the world, Rai is meticulous and doesn’t like to be caught off guard.

She’ll probably fight me tooth and nail once everything comes to light, but I’m ready for that. I’ve been ready since the beginning.

I take extra care to make myself presentable because today will be one of the last meetings I’ll have with the Russians before I leave them.

But I won’t leave her. My wife.

It doesn’t matter that this marriage started in the most unconventional way possible. It’s still true and she agreed to it, sealing it with her ‘I do.’ Those words mean a lot more than she’ll ever know.

It also doesn’t matter that I plan to go back to my old ways—the days of killing and roaming around like a lone wolf. The only difference this time is that Rai will be by my side.

I have no doubt she’ll resist me every step of the way. As much as I hate the brotherhood and plan to destroy it until no one is left, Rai considers it home.

She had the chance to switch back with her twin or disappear, but she didn’t. She chose the rotten place where half disrespect her and the other half are plotting to ruin her.

The loyalty in that woman is no joke, and getting her to abandon Nikolai Sokolov’s legacy won’t be easy, but I’ll find a way.

After deeming myself presentable, I head to the exit. As soon as I open the door, a potent premonition hits me in the face.

Something doesn’t feel right. I don’t know what it is or why it’s coming now, of all times, but I know it’s there.

It’s impossible to ignore my instinct when it’s kept me alive all this time. The moment killers start brushing over their instinct, they die. It’s as simple as that.

Did the Russians perhaps figure something out?

They can’t possibly suspect me after I used my body to save Sergei. That gesture, although not intentional and only the result of needing to protect Rai, means something in their loyalty ledger.

My legs come to a slow halt at the top of the stairs. Initially, I don’t believe what I’m seeing, even though it’s right in front of me.

This feeling is like being trapped in one of those surreal nightmares, and the only way out is another nightmare. Perhaps the flashback I had earlier about the darkest night of my life is coming back to haunt me and haul me to another black hole filled with blood.

I blink once, twice, but the scene in front of me doesn’t disappear.

Why the fuck am I not waking up?

I close my eyes for a second, then open them, and the view hits me as if it’s the first time. As if I’m that five-year-old boy who could only stop and stare as his life was stripped away from him.

Rai lies at the bottom of the stairs, her head lolled to the side and her limbs sprawled at unnatural angles as if they’re broken, but that’s not what robs me of breath. It’s the fact that she’s not moving.

“Rai…” I whisper, but that does nothing. “Rai!”

I rush down the stairs and nearly fall from the force of my movements. I kneel by her motionless body and slowly place a hand on her shoulder.

Her chest is rising and falling, but barely.

Bloody fucking hell.

She must’ve fallen down the stairs, but how come I didn’t hear it? That doesn’t matter now—she does.

I carry her in my arms, trying my hardest not to move her too much in case she’s badly injured.

Her face is pale, lips parted, and there’s blood on her palms as if she scratched herself.

“What happened?” Ruslan runs toward me, followed by Katia, their attention on Rai in my arms.

“Get the car,” I bark. It would be better to wait for an ambulance, but we don’t have time for that.

“Yes, sir.” He storms out of the house. Katia and I follow and she opens the door for me.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I should be the one to ask you that. Why weren’t you with her?”

“She sent me on an errand, and Ruslan was getting the car ready.”

Fuck.

I get in the back seat, and Katia helps in positioning Rai’s head on my lap before she slides into the front seat.

“Get us to the hospital,” I tell Ruslan. “Now.”

His nod in the rear-view mirror is my only response as the car leaves the house with a loud screech of tires.

I run my forefinger under Rai’s nose. She’s breathing, slowly, but it’s there. However, she’s not showing any signs of consciousness.

“God damn it, Rai.”

I try to keep her steady as Ruslan flies through the traffic, cutting in front of cars as if he’s on a chase.