I try to ignore the soreness between my legs as I get ready for my day. I shouldn’t have let him fuck me last night.

I really, really shouldn’t have.

But hearing his soothing voice and feeling his warmth at my back loosened me up. It’s the fucking hormones; I can feel them stealing my good judgment away and scattering it into the air.

That’s why I said what I did right after we finished. I couldn’t just allow him to take everything from me without a fight. He wronged me. He put a baby in me without my permission, so fuck him and fuck the way he withdrew from me.

Ruslan and Katia wait for me in front of my room, expressions concerned.

“Did you even get any sleep?” I ask.

Ruslan gives a sharp nod. “Yes, miss.”

“No, you didn’t. Look at those bloodshot eyes.”

“They will eventually go away.” Katia lowers her head. “We…we would’ve never been able to live with ourselves if something happened to you.”

“If we were there, you wouldn’t have had to go through that, miss,” Ruslan agrees.

“Hey, you two, I was the one who told you to make sure Asher and Gareth were safe. Okay?”

“But—”

“No buts, Katia. It already happened, and we don’t dwell on what’s happened, so we’ll just focus on the future.” I pat both of their shoulders. “I feel so much safer knowing you two have my back.”

“Always,” both of them say, and I smile as the three of us descend the stairs.

Peter, Kyle’s lonesome guard who’s usually lounging around the house, is stuffing his face with a muffin. He’s the most useless guard I’ve ever seen, and it’s not only because of his bleached hair and brow piercings. It’s that he truly lacks skills more than any guard I know, which makes me wonder why on earth Igor would recruit him. He talks back to Kyle all the time, which usually gets him smacked upside the head, and Kyle doesn’t take him on dangerous missions either, so he’s usually eating and being lazy.

Since he’s here, Kyle could be around, too. My breathing shortens at the prospect of seeing him, and therefore talking to him. Considering everything that happened last night, it won’t be pretty.

But I stand by my decision.

“Katia, clear my schedule for the afternoon.”

“Done, miss.”

“Will you need the car?” Ruslan asks.

“Yes.” If I’m going to get an abortion, I might as well rip off the Band-Aid sooner rather than later.

I step inside the dining room for the usual morning meeting while inhaling deep. Who knows how the hell it will go with Kyle sitting right beside me…?

My train of thought scatters when I don’t find him at the table. Everyone is here except for him and Adrian.

“Rai,” Sergei urges when I remain rooted in place. “Come, sit. We were about to discuss the funds V Corp has been funneling into the brigades.”

I force myself to stride to the seat and flop down beside Damien.

He nudges me and lowers his voice so I’m the only one who can hear. “Better today?”

“Yes,” I reply meekly.

“The baby too?”

“Yeah.” Apparently.

“Pity. I thought you’d leave the bastard Kyle if there weren’t a baby.”

“I can still leave him even when a baby is involved.”

“That’s my Rayenka. I vote for leaving him.”

“Why are you so hell-bent on it?”

“You’re matchmaking me with some Japanese girl who probably doesn’t drink vodka. If I’m going to be miserable, I need to recruit you to my club.” His brows rise. “How about an affair?”

“Maybe if you’re the last man alive, Damien.”

“I can make it happen,” he murmurs with complete seriousness, as if he really is contemplating the best way to do that.

I shake my head, opting to not give him crazy ideas. More importantly, I’m in no frame of mind to focus on mundane conversations. My mood went from bad to horrible the moment I walked inside and didn’t find Kyle. Where the hell is he? And is he really going to let me abort without talking about it?

The asshole’s lack of reaction pisses me off more than if he had one.

Ruslan, who’s standing behind me, leans over to whisper in my ear, “Aleksander keeps staring at you, miss. You want me to put him in his place?”

“No,” I murmur and smile up at Sasha, who discreetly smiles back.

Kirill, on the other hand, glares at me as he readjusts his glasses. That manic look in his eyes can’t be good news. The bastard really doesn’t deserve Sasha by his side.

I wonder if he knows she’s a woman. What am I saying? Of course he doesn’t. If he did, he would shoot her dead. Since deceit is his modus operandi, Kirill takes offense at anyone lying or deceiving him. Besides, a woman passing as a man is a direct insult to the Pakhan himself.

Which is one more reason why I should bring her to my side.

It’s a world ruled by men to the point that even female guards aren’t allowed. Dedushka made an exception for Katia because I put my foot down for her. Everyone except Ruslan still looks down on her, despite her top-notch skills. They do it behind my back, of course, because I would rip them a new one if they badmouthed her in my presence.

During the meeting, we talk about the financing and that, due to the circumstances, I agree to release a higher percentage of V Corp’s net profit. But I dig my heels in until Sergei agrees that we’ll have a deadline for when the brigades will repay the money, something Kirill and especially Mikhail don’t like. Kirill disagrees because he hates to be told what to do by me—or anyone, basically, but Mikhail is in a dire situation. I’ve seen his brigade’s numbers, and they’re more than shit.

After the meeting, I linger in the dining room after I find a text from my twin sister.

Reina: I can’t believe you met Gareth and Asher, but not me. It’s been months since I last saw you, Rai. Should I apply for next year?

I can almost hear the sarcasm and hurt in her tone.

My chest feels stuffed as I stare at her tiny picture at the top of the chat. It’s one of her holding Gareth and laughing while Asher kisses her cheek.

It’s so spontaneous and full of life, like everything about Reina. I miss her so much, now more than ever. I wish I could meet her even for a while and just…talk. I want to tell her about everything like we used to confide in each other when we were little.