Staggering to my feet, I motion at Peter to stay in front of her room. I lean in to whisper, “Tell me if anything happens.”

“Yes, sir,” he murmurs back.

He’s a useless kid in battle, but he’s good when it comes to spying, at least.

As I leave the hospital, I vow one thing.

I’ll make sure Rai remembers me, even if it’s the last thing I do.

4

Rai

I lie still in bed.

My gaze is set on the ceiling, and it’s not because of its plain white color. I keep wondering when on earth my life went wrong.

It’s not only because of the accident or the situation I find myself in. I think it started the day I chose to be in Reina’s shoes and become the Bratva’s next princess.

At that time, all I thought about was my twin sister’s safety, but…I was also attracted to this life, to the danger, to the bursts of excitement that didn’t exist in my calm life with Dad.

One thing led to another and I started running after danger so I could grab it by the horns.

What I didn’t know is that during that race, I lost pieces of myself, of the little girl who loved her family and was ready to do anything for them.

The sense of protection Dedushka implemented in me has grown to become a monster whose shadow follows me everywhere.

The only way to get rid of it is to completely give up, to blow away my goals and everything I’ve worked for thus far.

During my life in the Bratva, I’ve seen grown men tremble in fear because of what they’ve done. I’ve been surrounded by men who go to unimaginable lengths for power, money, and everything the brotherhood offers.

I never wanted to be one of those men. And unlike what they think, I never wanted to rule over them or snatch the throne with ruthless hands as they do.

The only thing I ever wanted was to be recognized for what I have to offer, regardless of whether or not I have a penis between my legs.

I never once had any misconceptions about what I am or what I can do. I knew my limits and my strengths, and did everything to remain on top of things.

So how come in a fraction of a second, I find myself in the middle of nowhere? How come I’ve stooped as low as thinking about giving up?

You might not be a man, but you’re a Sokolov, Rai. And do you know what Sokolovs do? We snatch the throne even if the price is high. Don’t be afraid to shed blood, even if it’s your own.

Dedushka’s words slam into me like an earthquake, rattling me from the inside out. Who am I to give up? My life isn’t the only one at stake. There’s also my twin sister, Sergei, and Ana—whom my granduncle forbade from visiting me for security reasons. There’s no way in hell I’d give up on them even if I give up on myself.

The door opens then closes before Vlad strides inside with his usual broody silence.

Sometimes, he looks just like the ceiling I was staring at: strong, hard, and impenetrable. And I need that strength right now.

It’s not bad to admit I’m weak. It’s just another form of strength.

“Do you feel better?”

“Is he outside?” I murmur.

“No. I convinced him to go change his clothes.”

“Finally.”

He lowers himself into the chair opposite me, his frame dwarfing it. “Why were you so insistent on having him leave?”

“I haven’t lost my memories.”

“What?” He stares at me for a second, as if I’ve completely lost my mind.

I slide to a sitting position and yank the IV needle from my arm, then throw it away.

“Are you going to explain what’s going on? Was the fall also false?”

“That part was real, though I don’t remember how I ended up there. I believe someone pushed me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. They had no accent and sounded male.”

“That doesn't help. There are a hundred men in the mansion, but they wouldn’t dare to touch you.”

I know exactly who dared to do that, but I don’t say his name aloud. If I do, Vlad will go straight to action and kill Kyle.

He can’t die. Not yet.

Not only did he cut me open and stab me countless times, he also used me to ruin my whole damn family.

If he dies now, I won’t be able to know how deep his plan goes and how far ahead he planted his destructive seeds.

When I was grabbed by that shadow, I thought my life ended, and foolishly, the last taste on my tongue was that of bitter betrayal. A tear escaped my lid, too, because the man I’d slowly been giving my trust to had been plotting my fall.

And in that moment, all I wanted to ask him was why. Why would he do that to me?

Those idiotic thoughts disappeared as soon as I woke up in the hospital. I have another chance, and I won’t use it to ask why. I’ll use it to make him pay.

Finishing Kyle isn’t that hard. The moment I tell anyone in the brotherhood about what I heard, he’ll be dead. I could tell Damien since he’s been eyeing him unfavorably for some time, or even Vlad, but that isn’t the best way to hurt him.

Since his sole purpose has been to ruin us and the Irish, the perfect method to ruin him is to abort his plan. Only then can he die. Only then can he pay for his sin.

“Rai?” Vlad calls my name.

I consider my words before I speak. “I’ll find out. They will eventually try to get me again.”

“That’s dangerous as fuck.”

“No accomplishments have ever been made without taking risks, my dear Vlad.”

He grunts. “It’s not Vlad.”

“It’ll always be Vlad for me, so you might as well save your breath.”

“Back to the topic at hand—why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make everyone believe you lost your memories. Do you realize the amount of stress you have caused the boss?”

“I need the perpetrator fooled, and for that, everyone had to stay in the dark. Only the doctor, Ruslan, and Katia know.”

“How did you come up with this plan in the first place?”

“My twin sister, Reina, had amnesia once, and I just copied what she told me had happened to her.”

“And now what?” he grumbles, running his hand over his beard. I can sense him losing his patience.