“We need to go,” he said, then ducked back out.

I relayed his instructions to her. “It could be a couple weeks, but I promise we’ll be back for you.”

She nodded. “I’ll be ready.”

We returned to the cave an hour before dawn. The guys had waited up for us. To me, everything had changed even though nothing had changed. Lying in their bedrolls around the fire, Loren and Quain still argued, Flea greeted me with his lopsided grin and Belen was still Poppa Bear, smiling as he followed us in. He had been on watch.

Flea sat up. “Was it her?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Knew it! And you didn’t believe me.”

“It just seemed too big a coincidence. It could have been a trap.”

“Why can’t a coincidence be a good thing?”

“I think there’s a law against it in Ryazan,” Quain quipped.

“I’m all for avoiding Ryazan,” Kerrick said.

“Don’t want to run into Xane’s skeleton crew again?” Belen asked.

“Do you?”

“Not without another hundred armed men by my side. Those people…”

“Are sick bastards,” Quain said.

“How so?” I asked.

“For one, they use the bones of the dead as weapons, armor, tents and two—”

“That’s enough, Quain,” Loren said, then asked me, “Did you find out about the rest of your family?”

Quain swatted him. “Nice segue, Loren. You basically implied Avry’s family is crazy.”

“Only you would make that connection, bonehead. I was trying to change the subject. Unless you want to reminisce about the time Xane’s men almost skinned you alive?”

“No,” Quain, Flea and Belen all said together.

“Any more good news?” Flea asked me.

Grief welled as I shook my head. “More victims of the plague.” This they all understood. “Noelle is all I have left.”

“Sorry to hear that, Avry,” Belen said. “I’ve lost a sister and my mother. My younger sister and father survived.”

“Parents and sister gone. One brother and a great-aunt left,” Kerrick said.

“My wife and…” Loren closed his eyes. “And the baby she was carrying died with her.”

I bit my lip, losing his child seemed extra cruel. This listing of the dead and the living was inevitable whenever survivors become comfortable with one another. I was touched they shared their lists with me.

“It was just me and my dad,” Quain said into the silence. “He lasted a couple years, then the plague got him in the end.”

Flea stared at us. “I can’t decide what’s worse. Losing family members or not having a family to lose.”

“Not having a family to lose,” I said. “It’s heartbreaking, but better to have some time together than none at all.”

“And they live on in your memories,” Belen said.

Flea hunched down. “I don’t have any memories.”

“Sure you do,” Belen said.

Confused, Flea glanced at us.

“Like when you kicked Belen in the shins,” I said.

“And when we rescued Avry,” Belen said.

“Oh.” Flea brightened.

Kerrick suggested everyone get a few hours of sleep.

“I’ll stand guard,” Belen offered.

“Have you been on duty all night?” Kerrick asked.

His sheepish expression answered for him.

Kerrick sighed. “Belen, being in charge doesn’t mean you stand guard all night.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Loren flung back his blankets. “I’ll take the next shift. I had a few hours earlier.”

I slid into my bedroll as exhaustion caught up to me. Fresh grief for my mother’s and brother’s deaths played tug-of-war with joy over finding my little shadow alive. My heart felt torn in two. Eventually, I didn’t have the energy to stay awake any longer.

A couple days after we’d visited Noelle, Kerrick announced his plans to travel north to find out if Estrid’s ambush had returned from the pass. “The bulk of her army is camped outside Zabin. The group from the pass would most likely travel down the border road between Pomyt and Vyg to meet up with them. Since we’ve already lost so much time, I don’t want to waste more guessing if they’ve left.” He looked at me.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about the delays. No reason for me to hurry to Ryne’s bedside only to refuse to heal him. I dreaded Kerrick’s reaction when that happened.

“If I don’t return in ten days, leave this location immediately,” Kerrick said to Belen. “Find a hiding spot and hunker down until spring, then take Avry across the Nine Mountains.”

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Belen said.

“I can move faster on my own. Don’t worry, Belen, I won’t get too close.” He glanced at me again before he left, and I wondered how far his forest magic stretched.

Belen kept me busy during the next nine days, teaching me how to fight with a knife, defend against a knife and practicing all that I learned. I worked with Flea at night, showing him how to juggle four objects.

“Two in one hand, throw and catch them with the same hand.” I demonstrated the motion. “When you master that for each hand, you put it together so it looks like the stones are going back and forth between hands, but you’re really just throwing the same two rocks with the same hand.”