I stare at it in my palm, the sharp copper glinting in the twinkle lights wrapped around my wrought-iron headboard.

When you’re in the eye of the storm, the only way out is through.

You win, Macon. I’ll protect the family.

MY HANDS TREMBLE, a light sweat covering my forehead as my heart thuds.

Just one more time...

I can’t stop hearing her whisper or feeling her mouth since I left her this morning. God, I’m exhausted. A fog sits in my head, and I can’t seem to get my eyes open all the way yet, but I’m floating. Blissfully floating.

As soon as I’d woken up, I’d rolled over and needed her. I didn’t want to leave Liv’s bed until I’d tasted every inch of her, and I couldn’t believe I’d had any energy left to go yet again after that, or that I’d gotten laid twice this morning and already wanted more.

I’m on fire, and I can’t wait to see her.

I dig my books out of my locker, taking deep breaths to calm myself down, but it’s not working.

“Clay,” someone says.

I turn my head, a couple guys shouting down the hall.

The new girl from my math class stands next to me, holding a folder and a book. Her blonde hair ends just above the shoulders, straightened with layers. She carries a Hermès backpack that even my mom probably wouldn’t treat herself to.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to ambush you,” she says, smiling, and I notice the subtle pink gloss that plumps her lips. “My name’s Chloe. We have calculus together.”

She holds out her hand, and she stands so close the hair on my arm touches the hair on hers. Awareness rises.

“Right.” I put my practice clothes in my duffel bag to take home and wash. “You’re from Texas. How are you liking it here?”

She shrugs, her navy-blue Marymount sweater vest not something we really wear anymore, but I like her retro style. “Still getting used to it.”

“Yeah, I know people in Texas are maniacal.”

“Maniacal?” she broaches. “About what?”

I pull out my pencil bag. “About being Texan.”

She smiles big and nods. “Can’t argue there. Texan first. American second.”

She doesn’t sound southern, though, so she’s definitely from the city. A bigger city than St. Carmen probably.

I close my locker and finally meet her eyes, seeing her watch me. I straighten, not sure if I’m imagining a signal or not. I look around for Liv.

“Anyway,” she finally goes on, “I just wanted to introduce myself. And see if you need a study partner? Maybe some help with derivatives and integration?”

A study partner? Are those still a thing since Google?

She laughs. “Okay, I need help with derivatives and integration.”

Ah. “Well, I’m no genius,” I add, “but two heads are better than one, I guess.”

But time with a new friend means time I won’t have with Liv, and I can’t do that right now.

I search my brain for an excuse to get out of it, but then I catch sight of Liv approaching behind Chloe.

She stops at my side, her hair in the two French braids I did this morning. She leans her shoulder into the lockers and pins Chloe with a look. “Excuse us.”

Her words are flat, commanding, and void of patience, and I bite back my smile even as a flush rises up to my cheeks.

Chloe’s eyes flash to me and then to Liv again, and I turn, spinning the dial on my locker. Awkward.

“See you around,” I hear her say, and when I turn around again, she’s gone.

Facing Liv, I give her a scolding look, but I’m sure she can see my amusement. “She was just saying hi.”

“She can wave.”

And that look and tone—possessive and jealous and all for me—sets me on fire again.

“Get in the bathroom, Clay,” she mumbles as she rubs an imaginary itch on her chin, trying to look covert in the school hallway.

Butterflies swarm my stomach, and slowly, I make my way past the special committees’ bulletin board and the couple making out. I push through the locker room door and head for the restroom.

I think Liv likes our secret, and although I’m grateful, because I just want her to myself, I have to wonder why she’s not putting up more of a fight to go public. I know she said in the hotel that this probably wouldn’t turn into a relationship, given that we’re both leaving for college in a few months, but something is eating at me. I told her I loved her last night. I don’t know if she forgot, is ignoring it, or she thinks I was lying, but when she said it back, she said she was kidding, so that doesn’t count.

She hasn’t said it back yet—not really—and I don’t know why it hurts a little.

Part of me wants her to fight me on this. To demand we walk down the school hallway hand in hand.

Liv checks the stalls to make sure we’re alone and then follows me into one, the door locking and my books dropping to the floor in a flurry right before she grabs me into her arms.

Slipping my hand under her skirt, I press my body into her as she holds my face, and we kiss. I moan, taking advantage of however many seconds we have alone to let her know how good she feels.

Her tongue caresses mine, and I inhale her scent and the taste of her watermelon-flavored lip tint.

“Mine.” She pants, rubbing her thumb across my lips. “Until graduation. Okay?”

“Yeah.”

She tips my chin back and kisses slowly down my neck. “No one has to know, but you better.”

“I know.” I nod. “Don’t worry, I know.”

I’m yours. Just don’t stop.

We grind on each other, but whenever I try to go faster, she slows us down, and I’m going insane, because it’ll be hours before we can be alone again.

I lift my leg, setting my foot on the toilet seat, and she slips a hand inside her black bandana that she tied around my thigh. Hidden underneath my skirt and from everyone except her who tied it there this morning.

I look down, lifting her wrist and turning it over to see the octopus I drew on the inside, hidden from everyone but me. I drew it there this morning.

We weren’t going to get to talk much at school, but we wanted a constant reminder of each other.

“I know why you like octopi,” she teases.

“Octopuses,” I correct her, moving in for her mouth again. “And there are so many reasons to love them.” We nibble and bite. “You know they can detach limbs at will? Like not rip it off but detach it when they’re in danger?” I keep kissing her, her warm body making chills spread across my arms. “They all have venom, even just a little, and they have nine brains, each arm can act independently from the others. Isn’t that wild?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And they use tools,” I tell her. “They have three hearts. They eat their arms when they’re bored.”

“They can slap eight people at the same time,” she adds and then cuts off my laugh with a kiss that grows deeper and deeper until I’m breathless.

And I can’t take it anymore. I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her neck, just holding her.

Just hugging her.

She stills, and I know she’s probably wondering what I’m doing, but I just need to memorize this. I don’t know if I really love her, but it’s going to hurt to lose her. I know that.