“I’m good,” said Katie, her face placid. Alexa’s mother hated when people said I’m good—she considered it a non-answer kind of answer—so both Morgan and Alexa had been conditioned not to say it. But Alexa believed in free speech within the walls of one’s own home so she just nodded. “I’m reading,” Katie added. She held up Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Alexa recognized the book as her own copy, the one she’d handed down to Morgan, because of the jagged tear in the cover. Katie was reading the first of the series, the one where Tibby meets the girl who has cancer. Alexa loved those books when she was in middle school; she had hoped that her own female friendships would turn out to be as sustaining, as reliable and life-affirming and, well, fun, as those of Tibby, Bridget, Lena, and Carmen, but, alas, Destiny and Caitlin simply didn’t seem to have what it took.

“Okay,” said Alexa. “If you need me, just holler. I’ll be around.” Katie went back to her book and Alexa clattered around in the kitchen for a few minutes, for show, in case Katie was listening. She inspected the contents of the refrigerator (disappointing) and the cupboards (barren). She looked for the liquor cabinet (nonexistent).

There was a copy of the Newburyport Daily News on the counter, and on the front page was one of those advertising stickers with an ad for Canobie Lake Park, the amusement park not far away in Salem, New Hampshire. As a kid Alexa loved Canobie—it was small enough that she used to be allowed to go off with friends (back when she had friends), and big enough that some of the rides were legitimately scary. In the past few years they’d put in a new roller coaster, Untamed, and Alexa hadn’t tried it yet.

Maybe it was the knowledge that she’d be gone soon, or maybe it was the realization that she didn’t have any friends, and if Tyler kept it up with @silvergurl she soon wouldn’t have a boyfriend either (not that she cared), but Alexa found herself overcome by a fit of generosity, as powerful and unexpected as a punch. “Hey, Katie,” she said. “Do you like roller coasters?”

Katie looked up from her book. Her eyes were bright and shiny. “I love roller coasters.”

“Morgan does too,” said Alexa. This was true—surprisingly true, given Morgan’s fear of so much else in the world. “Have you ever heard of Canobie Lake, the amusement park?”

Katie shook her head.

Alexa held up the sticker she’d peeled from the paper and pointed it toward Katie. “I’ll take you two,” she said. “You and Morgan. On my next day off. It’s really fun.”

“Really?”

“Sure,” said Alexa. “Why not?” Katie was very pretty when she smiled; she had potential, Alexa decided. Obviously she wasn’t going to inherit any fashion sense from her mother. But if Alexa took her under her wing, maybe then there would be some hope. Plus it would make her mother happy to see her doing something with Morgan. In fact, it would make Alexa happy too. She’d been a crappy big sister lately.

She waited until Katie had turned back to her book and made her way craftily up the stairs. She was so quiet that she figured if the Silk Stockings money dried up she could probably get work as a ninja. Silk Stalkings.

She found the notebook in the same place she’d found it before, under the pillow. Katie would probably not make a good ninja, judging from her uninspired hiding choice. Alexa sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to mess up the comforter.

And then she started to read.

I’m not supposed to write down any of this. I’m not even supposed to think about it, because it is all a secret.

I am supposed to be Katie Griffin and not that other Katie I used to be.

I have a new friend named Morgan who is just as nice as my friends were at home, and in some ways she is much nicer. I had to say good-bye to all of those friends anyway. Except I didn’t say good-bye because I wasn’t allowed to do that. I wasn’t allowed to say good-bye to anyone. We left in the middle of the night, when everyone I knew was sleeping. So I said good-bye in my head.

We live in a nice place now, in a pretty town by the ocean, where there are beaches and ice cream shops and restaurants that sell fried fish and lobster rolls. We have eaten the lobster rolls but we haven’t tried a whole lobster. I don’t know if we will because they are a little bit weird and you have to crack the shells on your own and dig inside to get the meat out. Morgan likes them and she promises that I will too.

(Morgan liked lobster? This was news to Alexa.)

Morgan is friends with a big group of girls and I have met most of them. I am trying to remember all of their names but it’s hard. I went over to swim in Taylor’s pool. It was a nice pool and really fun and we had a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater. I won. I always win contests like that because I don’t ever give up. And I never, ever tell secrets, even the big secret that I have.

In the fall I will go to the Nock Middle School which is a brick building that is not that pretty from the outside but I went inside when Mom registered me and it is much nicer on the inside. The library has couches in it and lots of books and there is a small courtyard that Morgan says sometimes has ducks in it that you can watch from the windows. I like the idea of being able to watch the ducks during school.

(Alexa remembered the ducks from when she was in middle school. Most likely they were different ducks now.)