"Text me when you're headin' home later," he grunted, still not tearing his attention away from the man.

I looked over at Luther to see him watching the two younger men.

Whatever.

I didn't bother saying anything else before turning around and heading toward the door. I jogged down the stairs as fast as I could because all of a sudden, I felt like crying all over again.

Chapter Twenty

The look on Slim's face when I pushed through the door of Pins said way too much.

If he were prone to biting his fingernails, I think he would have been in the process of doing it. Instead, he smiled apologetically, lines creasing his forehead. "You okay?"

I tilted my head down and looked at him with wide eyes, rounding the reception desk to drop my purse on the floor. By some miracle, I'd managed not to cry.

No sooner had I gotten into the car had I realized that I couldn't exactly burst into tears at how upset and embarrassed I was. It made sense that Dex would be mad. I understood that. I really did. The problem was that he'd ripped me a new one, and the fact that it'd been done in public just made it worse—a heck of a lot worse. It was clear I was an inconvenience, but was it necessary to put things like I was a stupid child?

My chest hurt and I'd started hiccupping like crazy while I drove the two blocks down to Pins.

But screw it, I wasn't going to do it. I wasn't going to cry for no reason.

All right, there was a reason but that was beside the point. Deep down, I knew what I'd done was beyond foolish. If anyone had found out, I could only imagine what kind of shit storm The Dick would have raised. Hell, Sonny would have probably found out and I truly doubted he had any issues with actually knocking some sense into me.

So I'd be taking that little tidbit to the grave with me from the looks of it.

"I'm fine," I told him but the reality was that my voice seemed higher than normal. Obviously, I wasn't completely fine.

The last thing I wanted was to see any of the Widows anytime soon, especially Dex. Which didn't exactly work since I was staying with the guy. Damn it.

Slim gave me a disbelieving look that just barely overshadowed his apologetic one. "Was he pissed?"

I snorted, making my redheaded friend wince.

"Yeah. Sorry, Iris. You know we don't care if you leave for a while but Dex called right after you left. Then he called again every ten minutes after that, checking to see if you'd made it back." He bared his teeth. "Sorry."

Like I could get mad at Slim for being honest. I shrugged and fished through my purse for a stick of gum, tossing a piece at him. "It's okay. I shouldn't have been gone that long." That was kind of the truth.

"We were all a little worried." He flashed me a bright smile. "It just means we like you."

If calling someone a dumb shit was a way of showing them affection, then I definitely didn't want to have any friends.

~ * ~ *

For the next few hours, I tried my absolute best to not think about what had gone down on the top floor of Mayhem. I was a little sad, a little mad, and a lot frustrated. Frustrated because I wished this crap with the sperm donor wouldn't have happened because then Sonny would be in Austin, and I'd be at his house, and things would just be fine.

It made me feel selfish but oh well.

We closed up the shop a little after midnight, and I sent Dex a text as soon as I'd gotten into the car. With any luck, I'd get back to his place before him and could feign being asleep to avoid any other crap. Now, if he was home already, I was screwed and wanted a minute to mentally prepare myself for him.

So I thought it'd be a good idea to drive by Mayhem and make sure he was still there, otherwise...

Yeah.

I slowed down to drive by the parking lot, but I recognized him even before I was close. After seeing him outside of Pins so many times, leaning against the wall with his cigarette between his lips and fingers, his stance was identifiable. It was all Dex. Relaxed and strong, reeking of all the shits he didn't give.

And right next to him was the same redhead that had come into the shop earlier.

They were talking but his attention was focused on the biker I recognized from Sonny's place, the one I'd stood next to just a few hours before.

Jealousy and I don't know what else it was—it was bitter and stung my throat—rose up into my mouth. Because...

What did I expect? That Dex was some kind of celibate saint? He was attractive. Incredibly attractive. And he was really nice when he wanted to be. He was even nice in his own way when he didn't want to be. And he'd told me things about himself that I was confident he didn't share often. And he took care of me in his rough, Dick way. I liked Dex.

Holy shit.

I liked Dex.

I don't know why it hadn't hit me before. Maybe because he was my boss and he still got on my nerves pretty often.

But mainly because I realized deep down inside of me that there was no point in accepting or recognizing any feelings I could have for a man like him. A man who did his duty to his friend's sister.

God, I was such an idiot.

Such a friggin' idiot.

I hit the gas to accelerate at the same time I reached out to grab my phone, hitting the second person under my favorites to call.

It rang for a while, almost too long but right at the last moment, he answered.

"Ris?" Sonny answered in a raspy voice.

A shuddering breath made its way out of my lungs. "Hey, Sonny."

There was a bunch of noise in the background. The sound of a door opening and closing. "Hey kid, I was just thinking about you," he said. "You doing okay?"

Ugh. The one day out of so many when I wasn't fine, and he'd ask. "Eh," I answered him honestly. I mean, I'd already lied enough today. No need to tarnish my record anymore, especially not with my brother. "You?"

He sighed. Long and deep. "I've been better, too."

Something about his tone nipped at me. "What's wrong?" I asked him carefully.

"Ahh, kid," he hedged.

Like that would stop me. "Where are you?"

"Almost to Denver. I don't know what the name of this shitty little town is but we're in Colorado."

Colorado? "Is that where you think the sperm donor is?"

The three second long hesitation should have been my warning sign. "Maybe. My friends in Arizona said they know he'd passed through a couple weeks ago, so I'm hoping he went up north since he used to live there."

"Oh." It frustrated me how little I knew about my dad, though it shouldn't. "Did he live there recently?"

Another pause. More hesitation. "Uh, not really. I just don't think he'd be dumb enough to go back to Cali if he knows there's people looking for him."

So, Curt Taylor had lived in Denver for a while before ending up in California somewhere? What was it about this guy that made him unable to settle down?

And then it hit me, caustically, like a massive stone stuck in my kidneys, tearing a fresh line of pain through my insides.

What was the one thing this man always ran from, Iris? My brain screamed.

"Son," was all I could manage to get out of my mouth while I maneuvered across the freeway.

"Ris." He was being too different. Too guarded.