Even if you don't really know what you're doing. You just go with it. You move your tongue in a way that only your body understands. You arch your back because that's what feels right in the moment.

You don’t question it. You take advantage of that one moment of insanity that you let yourself live for just a taste of something and someone like Dex The Dick Locke.

He kissed me ruthlessly. His right hand shifted from its spot on my cheek, down my neck before ending up on the opposite shoulder.

And I let him because his lips were firm, his tongue was good and his mouth tasted faintly like the chocolate milk he’d drank earlier and the smoke he had when we'd opened up the shop hours before. The rock solid chest smashed against mine might have also been a reason why I didn’t even think about shifting away.

It wasn’t until his other hand, the one left on my face, started its descent down my neck and grazed over my collarbone, over the side of my breast that I realized what the heck was going on.

Dex The Dick. Dex The Kind Grump was shoving his tongue down my throat. My boss. Dex. Charlie. The guy who signed my paychecks.

I pulled away from him so abruptly, I’m sure it was the only reason why he let me go. He hadn’t been expecting me to back away from him out of the blue like that. It was also because he wasn’t waiting for me to pull away that I had a chance to take in the flushed look on his face, the heavy set of his eyes. And the massive pipe lining his jeans.

God.

I should have just stayed where I was, but then I’d regret it for sure.

"Holy crap," I gasped out.

His mouth was just slightly parted, and he almost looked a little... dazed. "Shit." Dex thrust both hands through the mess of black hair that just barely swept over his forehead. "Shit, Ritz."

And, cue the awful feeling that crept into the pit of my stomach.

I didn't want to hear him say something about how much of a mistake our kiss had been, because while it was true, I just didn't want to hear it from his mouth. I couldn't handle the rejection.

So I did the only thing I thought could save both of our minds at that moment. I backed out of the office and closed the door behind me.

Slim wheeled his chair over to my section the moment I'd planted my butt on my own, curling my lips behind my teeth in hopes that they'd stopped tingling.

I had a feeling they wouldn't, but a girl could dream.

"You look—," he ran his eyes over my face slowly, "weird."

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. If I looked at him dead on, I'd probably turn red or blurt out what had just happened. That was a terrible idea. So I settled for a soft, "Huh."

Slim made a humming noise in his throat, still looking at me a little too closely. "Anything you want to tell me?"

See what I mean? Nosey. Nosey with a capital letter. "Nope."

"Hmm," he hummed again before sitting back in the chair. "We all knew it was going to happen. I'm just kind of surprised it took so long." Slim spun in a circle. "And I'm surprised you don't want to tell me."

"Tell you what?" I asked him carefully. These guys were piranhas for information.

He smiled all slick and casual, spinning in a circle again. "You know what."

"No, I don't, Slim."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, you do, Ris." That slick smile widened. "He's pissing all over you." He shrugged. "It was about time."

Things went from bad to worse when Blake piped in from behind the divider. "Boy's probably got blue balls by now."

Cue my choke.

“I’m going to poison you both,” I started to threaten them.

Luckily—maybe not so luckily—the door to the shop opened before I could finish the growing list of things I was planning on doing to my friends slash coworkers and a man stepped in. It was Dex's next appointment.

Shit.

He must have been looking at the camera in his office because the office door slammed shut not even three seconds after I greeted the man. The music wasn't on yet, so I could hear Dex's heavy footfalls on the tile. Then, I heard him greet his client and point him in the direction of the bathroom so they could start their session afterward.

I kept my eyes trained on the computer in front of me, trying so friggin' hard not to gulp and bring attention to myself when I was confused beyond belief at what Slim had just said and what happened in the office. I mean, I knew Dex cared about me. But... what the hell was that?

You're an idiot, Iris. Of course I was. The second after I asked myself that, I remembered his face at the lake. His face and his touches in half a dozen other circumstances that I didn't understand completely.

I didn't get a chance to think about it anymore because I saw that black-shirted blur move toward me the moment his customer was out of view. He didn't kneel down like he had the day before when he gave me the community college catalog but instead bent over at the waist, his bottom lip so close I could feel it on my earlobe.

"You and me are gonna have a talk later, Ritz,” he warned.

Chapter Twenty-Five

"I'm really thinking that those douchers won't do anything to me if I stay at your house," I argued with Sonny as I shifted my leg under me on the bumpy couch at Mayhem.

The television was on in the background, and I could hear the sound of an audience laughing even as he sighed. "Not happening, kid."

"It'll be fine." I wasn't above begging. Especially when my lips still tingled from Dex's mouth. Hours later. Pathetic. "I'll lock the doors and everything."

The son of a gun didn't even bother thinking about the suggestion. "No."

"Sonny." I also wasn't above whining a little. I figured it was fine. I'd never whined much as a kid, I could get away with it as an adult.

"Ris, we haven't found him. Do you know what that tells me? That he's in deeper shit than we know. If it was just the Reapers he owed money to, he wouldn't be going through so much trouble to hide from everyone," he explained. He sounded so tired, I immediately felt bad for stressing him out with my stupid begging.

Because he had a point. Why would he be hiding so well? Why had he borrowed so much money to begin with? Plus, there was no reason for me to freak out over the incident at Pins. None.

Dex probably kissed people on a daily basis.

The thought should have been reassuring but all it did was make my stomach hurt—a lot.

I pushed the thought back and tried to focus on Sonny again. "You don't know who?" I asked.

He sighed. "I don't think I want to know. This shit has turned into such a goddamn headache. I'm worried Trip might kill me before we find him."

I wanted to tell him to come back home. That I'd give him the money I had in my account to pay off a small chunk of the debt The Disappointment owed, but I couldn't. I couldn't because the first thing I thought of now every time our dad popped into my head, was what he'd done. The kid he'd had. The way he just plain sucked.

That small part of me that craved blood wanted him to own up to his mess for the first time in his life, so I kept my mouth shut. I only wished that there was something more I could do to find our sperm donor.

"I'm sorry," I told him because it was the only thing I could say that wouldn't bring him down any more.