My anger leaves slowly, like a leak, leaving me empty and hollow with regret.

“I can’t take it back.” I clear my throat and give her the words as they come to me. “You need to stop this, Jules. We can’t continue like this.”

Her posture changes, the bed creaking along with the slow movements as she grips the comforter and pulls it closer to her. Her expression shifts, and she’s not pretending anymore. She’s not hiding her anger; she glares at me, leaning forward. It thrills me. Give me that anger, sweetheart. Fight me, slam your fists into my chest, take it out on me. I’ll show you I can take it. I can let you get it all out and then soothe it away and fuck you so hard and so thoroughly you won't remember a damn thing except for how much you love my cock inside of you.

“Did you like it?” I ask her as my dick twitches with the need to push her and make her angrier.

A moment passes and she simply stares at me, refusing to answer.

“Did you like it when I tied you up?” I ask and this time, she can’t ignore my question.

“Fuck you,” she says, jumping off the bed and making her way toward the door to leave me again. She’s not fucking leaving me, though. I’m quicker than her and she knows it. I slam the door shut before she can walk through. With both my palms above her pressed firmly against the door, I cage her in with my arms as she spins to face me with a gasp of shock. My arms are long and her body’s small, so there's still nearly a foot of space between us, but it feels as if we’re closer than we’ve been in so long.

Because it’s real. This tension and this moment are more real than the lifeless days we’ve spent together living like ghosts of ourselves since I told her she wasn’t leaving.

She slowly takes an inch forward, waiting for me to stop her from leaving, but I don’t. By this point, she should know I’m not going to hurt her. I meant what I said. I will never hurt her.

“Just forget it all, Jules.” She tries to walk around me and under my arm, ignoring me and I can’t stand it. My forearms press against the door and close the space between us, trapping her there and forcing her to talk to me.

“What do you want from me?” she screams out, her lips close to mine and her anger tangible.

“Forgiveness,” I answer lowly, but with a rawness I pray she can feel.

“I can’t forgive you.”

“I had to do it.”

Her brow pinches and she looks like she’s going to argue, but she stays silent, biting her tongue and attempting to go back to the version of her I’ve dealt with for days. She stares at anything except me, as if ignoring me will free her from this moment.

I’m not going to let her get off that easy. She has to say something; I need to force her to confront me, because I know she won’t say something on her own. “You have to get over it.”

“Never,” she says, finally looking back at me and staring me in the eyes. “You’re a monster.”

“Is that what you want?” I ask her as I take a half step forward to force her back against the door, both of my hands pinning her hips in place. “For me to turn into some kind of monster so you can justify hating me?” My grip’s not so strong that it hurts her, but it’s forceful enough to get her attention. Her head comes forward and I crash my lips against hers, stealing a quick kiss before she can move away. I move my lips to her ear, pinning her whole body against the wall as my right hand travels up her side while my left grips the hair at the nape of her neck. She’s trapped.

“There’s a difference between what you’ve been thinking I’d do and what I’ve really been doing, sweetheart.” I speak just above a murmur. My breathing picks up along with hers, and her nails dig into the shirt on my chest. She’s not pushing me away; she’s holding me right where I am. I’m just as close to her as I wanted to be.

“You think I’m a bad man in that pretty little head of yours, but you fell in love with me. With the real me and there’s no hiding from that.” I run the tip of my nose from her cheek to her temple, breathing in her scent. Her small body is so hot against mine. Her rapid pants only aid in making me hard as fuck for her.

“I’ll never stop loving you.” I speak so low, I’m not sure she hears. I open my eyes and stare at the wall, realizing how fucked up this is, aching over it, but unable to let her go. I’m too afraid of losing her forever. I won’t let it happen.

“Just do it, Mason.” Jules nearly chokes on her words, and I have to look down into her eyes to see the defiance there. She’s pushing me. She knows I’ll never hurt her. It’s so fucking obvious, and the realization makes me smile slightly.

“Do what?” I ask.

“Whatever you want with me,” she says, although her gaze drops to my chest with nothing but defeat in her eyes. “Or let your father kill me.”

“Is that what you want?”

“You won’t let me leave,” is the only answer she gives me.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” My heart pounds in protest at the question: Would she really rather die than love me again?

Jules looks away, turning her head to the side even as I grip her nape tighter. I pull back slightly, forcing her to look at me.

“That would make it easy for you, wouldn’t it?” I ask, hearing my own voice crack. I nip her earlobe with my teeth and wait a moment for her to answer, but all I can hear is the combined sound of our heavy breathing. “It would be so easy to hate me if I were the monster you want to believe I am.” I struggle with how true my words are. “If I wasn’t the man you fell in love with, but I am.”

I kiss the side of her neck, my fingers trailing along her skin and pulling her sleep shirt up slowly. My body’s so close to hers but I don’t touch her, because I want her to feel my absence. I want her to crave how I make her feel.

I trail the words down her neck, whispering against her skin. “All I want is for you to remember how much I love you and how much you love me.”

I want her to beg for my touch again, just like she did when we first met. I know she will. She needs me just as much as I need her. “Give me one month.” I speak without thinking, desperate for a change between us. “One month of just pretending. Of trying to forget or forgive and going back to what we once had.”

She peers up at me with a brightness in her eyes, but they narrow with distrust. I add, “If you hate me still at the end of the month, I’ll let you go.” I can barely speak the pained words, but I push out the offering.

My heart beats hard in my chest, knowing it’s a lie. But it’s something she can hold on to. It’s a deal with the devil for her, and I’m sure she knows it.

She doesn’t reply, and I couldn’t give a fuck so long as tomorrow things have changed for us.

My strides are heavy as I leave her to grab the ring from where it lays, once again on the floor. She stares at it rather than at me when I take her hand. “I’m the same man I was when I first put this ring on your finger.” I slide the diamond on her ring finger and hold it there, waiting for her eyes to reach mine.

I lean in and breathe in her scent, closing my eyes and forcing myself to let go of her. “Don’t take it off, Jules. That ring will stay on your finger.” I watch as her eyes close and her chest rises. “I’ll make sure of it.”