You Are My Reason Page 38

“I don’t know that my heart is mine to give, Mason. It’s broken and I don’t know if it will heal the right way.” Jules sniffs and looks ashamed, but she has no idea how much I understand. I truly do.

Grief is a journey and she doesn’t have to go it all alone.

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into me. “You don’t have to be perfect, Jules, in order to be perfect for me.” I kiss her hair and hope that she can understand. “I want you how you are today, and tomorrow I’ll want you how you are then.”

Jules buries her head into my chest, her hair brushing against my chin and I kiss the top of her head. “Why are you so perfect, Mason?” she says and relaxes in my embrace. “How do you know just the right words to say?” Her voice is soft and relaxed as she molds her body to mine and that’s when I know I’ve won her over.

“I’m not perfect, Jules.” My heart aches in my chest, knowing just how imperfect I am. And how imperfect I am for her. She has no idea. We aren’t meant to fit together, but I’ll force the pieces to line up and pretend it’s meant to be.

For her. Because I owe her that much.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am that you came back,” I whisper and run my hand in soothing circles along her back.

 

 

Julia

 

 

I asked you to leave.

I need to be alone.

But you stayed in my head.

My heart and my home.

I asked you to leave me,

But you won’t go away.

When I go to find you tomorrow,

I only hope that you’ll stay.

 

 

Mason’s bedroom is so much darker than mine. Full of deep grays and dark wood. It matches the rest of his home, I suppose. His curtains are thick velvet and shut tight. Even with hardly any light, I can see him, all of him. His muscles ripple in the faint light. It makes Mason seem so much more dominating, which is criminal.

He already owns me, consuming me with his presence. But right now, at this very moment as he towers over me, skimming his fingers over my sensitized skin, I’m weaker for him than I’ve ever been in my entire life.

“Mason.” I murmur his name as he lays me down on his bed. I turn my head to the side and arch my back as he leaves open-mouth kisses down my neck. We’re both naked, but it’s more than that. So much more. We’ve been here before plenty of times, but this is different. We’re bared to each other.

“If we do this, can you promise me one thing?” My heart is pounding in my chest as I lay back on the bed, because I feel like this is the end. It’s putting so much to rest and moving on toward the unknown. I’m terrified that I’ll fall and he’ll let me shatter when he’s done with me.

“What?” He whispers the question between kisses.

“Please don’t hurt me,” I beg him. “I want you and I want what we have ...” I trail off, barely able to breathe. “But promise if you want me to go, you’ll do it easy and as soon as you know.” He braces his forearms on either side of my head and looks down at me with an intense look in his gray eyes that pierces my lungs, stopping me from breathing.

“You need to stop this.” His voice is hard, but it always is when I say something he doesn’t like. “Do you understand?”

I nod my head and say, “Yes.” I really do. I want this to stop and for us to begin.

“Don’t hide from me, Jules. Don’t run from me,” Mason tells me with an authority that can’t be denied.

I nod my head in complete agreement. I’m tired of running and denying myself what I really want. “No more secrets,” I say into the hot air between us.

Mason pulls away, looking at me as if he’s going to tell me something. The silence and tension grow, but no words come. Instead he crashes his lips to mine and pushes his body against me, forcing me to spread my legs for him.

And I do, I let him have all of me.

His fingers trail down between my legs as my core heats. He doesn’t stop nipping and kissing over my heated body, his hands roaming freely, taking in every inch of me. I’m helpless beneath him. Falling deeper and deeper into the darkness and loving how overwhelming it all is.

I missed this. God, how I missed this.

He groans in the crook of my neck, a sexy deep sound that makes my body arch toward him as if drawn even closer to him by an undeniable pull. His heated skin brushes against mine as he pushes himself inside of me.

My mouth opens and I stare up at him, his steel gray eyes holding my gaze as he enters me, slowly stretching me and not stopping until he’s fully inside of me.

My heart beats faster, my body numb and on edge, waiting for him to move and take me how he wants me. Rough, raw, and making me his.

His fingers dig into my hips, pinning me down as he pulls out slightly and then slams back in, forcing a whimper from me. My body bucks instinctively, but I never break eye contact. I can’t. He holds me captive beneath his gaze.

He does it over and over again until I’m so wet and hot for him that he easily slips in and out, each time forcefully smacking against my clit.

My body writhes and begs me to move away; it’s too much, too intense. But that’s just how Mason is. I knew it when I met him. More than that, I need him. I need this.

I love you, my heart whispers but I don’t say it aloud. Small whimpers of pleasure spill from my lips with each thrust and I swear I’m close to admitting it. So close.

He groans low in his throat as he speeds up his relentless thrusts, resting his forehead against mine and kissing me mercilessly. Our lips barely touch, but they do, kiss after kiss after kiss. A series of slow kisses with our hearts racing fast beg me to confess.

He steals the breath from my lungs. His hot body makes mine burn with desire. I cling to him, wrapping my legs around him and digging my nails into his shoulder.

Higher and higher he pushes me.

The pleasure comes in small waves, dim at first but growing stronger and stronger. They threaten to overwhelm me as my fingers and toes tingle. The crash will shatter me, I know it. I don’t beg him to stop. I don’t try to pull away. I want it, I crave it, I’m desperate for him to ruin me.

“Mason!” I cry out as the wave consumes me, pulling me under in an intense orgasm that paralyzes my body. It’s Mason’s cue to devour me and he does, fucking me with no regard for the state I’m in. He’s chasing his own release, pounding into me recklessly and extending my pleasure that much longer.

I scream out as he whispers, “Mine,” in the crook of my neck again and again. His throaty voice gets louder as he fucks me harder. I can’t do a damn thing but take everything he’s giving me. And I do, with my nails digging into his skin and his masculine scent surrounding me. His large body suffocating me in the most delicious way.

It’s only when he stills deep inside of me as I pant under him, desperately trying to breathe, that I’m able to moan out my pleasure. His thick cock pulses and the wetness between my thighs leaks between us.

He doesn’t stop holding me.

He doesn’t stop kissing me.

I almost don’t tell him. I almost hide from him, but I promised him I wouldn’t.

“I love you,” I whisper and give that piece of me to him too. He doesn’t say it back, but I know he heard it.

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