My shoulders shake slightly as I take in a shuddering breath, and that’s when he cups my chin and forces me to look at him.

“You know I love you,” he says with a ragged breath. “More than anything, anything in the world.”

I sniffle and try to ignore how the pain grows. “I do,” I tell him and then try to hide my face, but his grip on my chin is too strong and I can only close my eyes, feeling the smallest bit of tears threaten to spill over and soak into my lashes.

“Don’t cry, Kat,” Evan whispers as he rests his forehead against mine. “I love you, and that’s all that matters.” For some reason it seems so obvious to me in this moment that those words were more for him than they were for me. My eyes open to find his still closed. To see the pain there. To see how desperate he is.

That’s what I can blame it on. And it’s my undoing.

It always has been. He needs me, and I crave it.

“Kiss me—” Before the command leaves my lips, his are on mine. Devouring me and taking every little piece I’m willing to give. I crumble underneath him. My hands fly to his hair as he deepens the kiss. The air turns hotter as my skin heats and our breathing quickens.

“Kat.” He barely breaks away from me to whisper my name and then presses his lips harder against mine as he grabs my hips and pulls me toward him.

My gasp is muted as his tongue dives into my mouth. My back arches and my breasts push against his hard chest as he climbs on top of me.

Every second I’m acutely aware that I’m falling backward. It pains my heart as I pull away from him, digging my head into the pillow to feel the cool air. But I can’t stop this. I never could. He nips along my neck and my body clenches with need as my legs wrap around his waist.

My heels dig into his ass while I close my eyes tight and let my body do what it wants. It’s only ever wanted him and I won’t deny my own needs.

Not when he worships my body like this, kissing his way down my body as he strips the clothes from me. The only sound is our breathing as I cautiously open my eyes to watch.

His fingertips brush against my skin as he takes off the last piece and stares at my glistening sex.

“You’re wet for me.” He says the words out loud, although I don’t think he meant for me to hear. Another time, I’d blush. But there’s no shame or embarrassment right now. It’s desperation.

He parts from his clothes faster than I can steady my breath. The moonlight casts shadows on his chiseled chest and every sensitive bit of me is on fire and singing with need. My eyes are drawn to his hands as he strokes his length. When he does it again I can’t help how my lips part with desire and my legs spread wider. My body’s ready, willing and aching for him to take me.

“I’m the only one who can satisfy you like this, Kat.” My gaze shifts to Evan and he captures it with an intensity that pins me down. “Don’t ever forget that.”

I can’t respond, I don’t have time. In one swift motion he’s buried to the hilt inside of me. Stretching my walls and sending a spike of heat, desire and bit of pain through me. Every nerve ending screams to life as a strangled moan tears through me.

It’s nothing but pleasure as he stills deep inside of me. Waiting for me to adjust to his girth. He takes his time kissing his way up my collarbone to my lips.

The touches are softer now. Small pecks and nips until I open my eyes and he brings them to a halt.

“I love you,” he whispers. My legs wrap around his waist and my fingers dig into his strong shoulders as he moves slowly at first. Burying his head into my neck before I can tell him the same.

He rocks his hips, his rough pubic hair rubbing against my clit with each small movement and bringing me higher and higher. My release feels so close but so far away just the same.

I can only make small whimpers as he speeds up, knowing he’s going to send me crashing in the end. All the while he rides through my orgasm, fueled by my cries of pleasure. I cling to him for dear life as my body seems paralyzed and he continues to take from me. Pounding into me, harder and harder. Pistoning his hips until the headboard slams against the wall rhythmically in time with his relentless thrusts. He has his way with me, and then he holds me. I would do it all again just for this moment in time. Just to be held by him, as if he’ll never let me go.

Evan

It’s been a long damn time since I’ve made breakfast for Kat. It’s probably been a year or more since we’ve woken up together, that’s how fucked our schedules have become.

Her bare feet pad down the stairs as I set the last plate on the table. It’s brimming with fresh diced pineapple and strawberries. Bacon’s still the prominent scent, though. Bacon and eggs for breakfast. Plus a platter of hotcakes with fruit in the center and of course, her coffee.

I grab her mug from her spot on the table. It’s still burning hot but I make sure to put it handle out as I turn around to face her. Maybe I’m pussywhipped. Maybe I’m sucking up. Either way, I don’t give a fuck.

The sight of her messy halo of hair and wide eyes with a bit of mascara still lingering from yesterday makes my heart pump hard in my chest. She’s gorgeous even when she’s a mess. She’s got nothing on but a baggy Henley of mine and it makes her seem even more petite than she already is. My Kat’s never been an early riser. Only when she has to, or apparently when the smell of breakfast is in the air.

“You have good timing,” I tell her as she hesitantly grabs the coffee. I can see her shoulders sag just a bit and her eyes close as she takes in the smell, though. It gives me a sense of pride. Even if it’s just for the moment.

“Good morning,” she says with a soft smile, but it’s barely hiding her true feelings. I force a smile back and pull out her chair.

“I don’t know the last time I had an actual breakfast,” she says as she takes the seat and then looks up at me. “Thank you.” It’s genuine, but with her shoulders hunched and that sad look in her eyes, I don’t give her a response.

I wish I could hold on to last night forever. But the sun had to rise, and I need to come clean to her. She deserves that much.

The chair legs scratch on the wooden floor as I pull out my seat. I grimace slightly and then clear my throat as I sit down, noticing how Kat doesn’t seem to care. She’s not nearly awake enough; sleep still dominates her expression.

With both hands cradling her mug, she leans back in her seat and gives me a small smile but doesn’t reach for any food. She doesn’t say anything either. All she does is wait. I wish I had something better to offer her than what’s going to come out of my mouth.

“I want a fresh start … and the marriage we were supposed to have,” I say as I push a fork through the pancake on my plate, but I don’t eat it. I’m already sick to my stomach.

A heavy breath leaves me and I rub my forehead to get out some of the tension. I can’t tell her everything, but I can give her something that has killed me for years; a truth I wish didn’t exist.

My skin’s hot and my throat’s dry. It’s been years, and I never intended on telling Kat. I didn’t want her to know and it was before things changed for me. Before my mother told me she was dying. Before Kat came to me and showed me she was the person I needed in my life forever. It happened before I realized she was mine and I was never going to let her go.