All Grown Up Page 38

I continued to stare at the photo, looking for signs of my father. I had to swallow a giant lump in my throat to ask what I needed to ask. “Is she…my father’s?”

Marie’s eyes grew wide. “Oh! No. God, no. That’s an old picture. Rebecca is going to be ten next month.” She turned around and looked at the photo. “She was about six there, so I can understand why you’d think that. But I can assure you, she was born years before I even met your father.”

Thank God for one thing, I guess. I sat for another minute or two in silence, thinking about what else I needed to know. But really, I’d already found out too much.

I stood. “Thank you for your honesty.”

She nodded and stood. “I’m sorry, Ford. About everything—the affair, your loss, you finding out. Everything. If I could rewind and do it all over, it would never have happened.”

I walked out of Marie Louise Landsford’s office without looking back.

Unfortunately, I didn’t need to look back, because her honesty had already changed everything I saw looking forward.


Chapter 24

* * *


Valentina

I’d stopped listening to music over the years, and I hadn’t even noticed.

I listened in the car, of course. But I didn’t blast it while I was at home cleaning, showering, or cooking anymore, like I had years ago. Lately, though, that had changed. I found myself doing things I hadn’t in a long time—singing along to music when in the shower, dancing while folding the laundry, planting flowers, baking without a party to bring dessert to. I felt lighter and happier than I had in a long time. And whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not, one of the big reasons for that change was the man next door, who was currently on his way back out to Montauk.

A Billy Joel song came on while I was in the shower, and I sang along, belting out “Only the Good Die Young” at the top of my lungs like I was putting on a show for a sold-out crowd. It felt good…so damn good. As I rinsed the last of the conditioner from my hair, I closed my eyes and joined Taylor Swift for an earsplitting performance of “Shake it Off” that culminated in my singing and shimmying the towel to dry off my back. I wrapped my hair in a towel and threw on yoga pants and a tank top. Grabbing my moisturizer, I wiped the fog from the mirror and found a face smiling at me in the reflection—my own. I felt giddy.

This morning I’d done the sunrise yoga class with Bella and then went for a long walk on the beach. Halfway back home, my cell rang. It was the school I’d had a second interview with yesterday. I got the job!

Since then, I hadn’t stopped smiling. And I couldn’t wait to tell Ford. He’d been in a rush to catch his plane home from Chicago when I’d texted him earlier, so I figured I’d save my surprise until he got back to Montauk. My plans were to go to the supermarket and pick up a few things to make his favorite dinner.

Though those plans abruptly changed the minute I opened the bathroom door.

I startled and jumped to find a man casually leaning against the top stair railing a few feet from the bathroom door. But then my eyes bulged and jaw hung open.

“Surprise.” My son smiled and chuckled. “That’s some show you put on. Didn’t think you were ever going to come out of there. I didn’t know you were such a Swiftie, Mom.”

“Oh my God. Ryan! You’re home!” I swamped him in a giant hug.

He laughed and hugged me back.

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t going to be able to come home at all this summer because of the internship?”

“I finished a project I was working on a few days early, so I asked if I could take today to make it a four-day weekend for Labor Day. I need to fly back early Monday morning.”

“Why didn’t you call me? How did you get out here from the airport?”

He shrugged. “I wanted to surprise you. I took the train and then a cab.”

“Well, you succeeded.” God, I needed to squeeze him some more. I snuggled in for another hug. “I missed you.”

“I figured it might be a tough summer being out here for the first time alone.”

Except…uh-oh…I wasn’t alone.

“Umm… I kept myself busy.”

He looked over my face. “You look good, Mom.”

I patted the towel wrapped atop my head. “Must be the turban.”

Ryan smiled. “No…something’s different. You look…I don’t know…less stressed, maybe.”

I squeezed his hand. “I am. I was going to tell you when we spoke this weekend. But I got a job.”

“Wow. Congrats. That’s awesome. And so quick.”

“Yeah. I’m really happy about it.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners, and he smiled warmly. “That’s what it is. You look happy.”

“I am.” Though a large portion of that had nothing to do with getting a job.

“Well, come on. Go dry your hair or do whatever you do when you take it out of the towel, and let’s get something to eat to celebrate. I’m starving.”

“Okay! Give me fifteen minutes.”

After I dried my hair, I shot off a quick text to Ford.

Valentina: My son just surprised me. He’s home for the holiday weekend.

I watched for the text to show as delivered, but it never did. Checking the time on my phone, he should’ve been off the plane and on the train by now. Though perhaps his flight was delayed, and his phone was still off. I hit Call—but it went directly to voicemail. His phone was definitely off. So I shot off another text.

Valentina: I’ll still pick you up from the train. Text me when you know which one you’ll be on.

I tossed my phone into my purse and slipped into a pair of flip-flops. Ryan being home complicated things between Ford and me and the plans I’d had for us to celebrate this weekend, but I couldn’t be upset my son had surprised me. I was happy he was home.

On my way down the stairs, I was surprised to hear two voices, but found no one in the house. “Ryan?” I yelled.

“On the back deck!”

I found Ryan leaning over the railing talking to Bella. “I didn’t know Ryan was coming this weekend,” she said.

“I didn’t either. He surprised me.”

“Awww, that’s so sweet. It’s been a while, huh, Rye-Rye?”

I hadn’t heard that nickname in at least ten years. Bella used to call Ryan that when he was little, and he’d hated it.

But when I looked over at my son, he didn’t seem to dislike it anymore. His eyes dipped down to do a quick sweep over Bella. He was checking her out. “You’ve changed.”

She batted her eyelashes. “So did you.”

Oh God. No.

I needed to get Ryan the hell out of here. I tugged at my son’s arm. “We’ve gotta run. See you later, Bella.”

Our lunch lasted two hours. We went to Lobster Roll and sat outside on the benches eating and talking, mostly about his first year of college and his internship.

“All we’ve done is talk about me. Tell me how your summer was. Is it weird being out here without Dad and me?”

I shook my head. “It’s different, but not weird. He actually was out a few weeks ago to get an estimate on some work we need done at the house.”

“How’d that go?”

I smiled. “About as well as the last few years we were together. He said something that pissed me off, and I told him to get out.”

Ryan laughed. “He’s been calling me a lot lately.”

In my head, I thought, Of course he is. His toddler girlfriend moved to India, so he finally has some time to pay attention to his son. Ryan couldn’t possibly have time for two teenagers in his busy life.

But I swallowed my real thoughts and went with something supportive. “That’s good. I’m glad you two are making more of an effort to stay connected.”

He shrugged. “How would you feel toward Tom if he cheated on Eve?”

I knew what he was getting at. “I adore Tom. But I’d always be on Eve’s side, of course. Then again, Tom isn’t my father.”

He wrinkled up his napkin and tossed it on his empty plate. “He’s not seeing her anymore.”

I nodded. “I know. He told me.”

“Is…there any way you’d ever forgive him?”

Oh God. He might look like a grown man, but inside he was still my little boy who hated to see his parents broken up.

“You know what? I sort of have forgiven him. At least I’m moving on from it. I’m not going to lie, your father and I splitting up was hard on me. I think you know that. But now that I’m on the other side of it, I realize we would have wound up here no matter what. We were kids when we got married, and I have no regrets about the decisions I made because I got you out of it, and your father and I…we had some good years. But we grew apart as we grew up, and neither of us was happy for a long time. I blamed it on what he’d done, because it was easier at the time. But our relationship was in trouble long before he did what he did. In fact, the poor state of our marriage is probably one of the main reasons he turned to someone else.”

My son looked down. “I get it. It was stupid for me to even ask.”

I reached out and took his hand. “No, it wasn’t. It’s perfectly normal for a child to want his parents to be happily married.”

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