Ryan nodded. “That reminds me. What should I have said to Bella about her parents? I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, so I didn’t.”

“I think you can just give your condolences if you see her again. She talks about them a lot, and she’s okay with people mentioning it.”

“Crazy that she lost them both.” He shook his head. “And I’m sitting here selfishly asking if you and Dad might get back together. Puts things into perspective.”

“Yeah. But she seems do be doing well.”

My son smirked. “She looks well.”

I wrinkled my nose. My son assumed it was a general icky feeling a mom might get about her son checking out a girl.

He chuckled. “Yeah. Pretty sure my face would be the same if you were telling me some guy was hot.”

I winced inwardly. Pretty sure your face would be worse if I told you the guy I thought was hot was the brother of the girl you thought was hot.

***

That evening, I still hadn’t heard from Ford, and my text wasn’t showing as delivered yet. I was getting worried and reached out to Bella, albeit under false pretenses.

I knocked next door and she appeared in her uniform. “Hey.”

“Hey, Bella. Have you heard from your brother? Umm…I wanted to ask him to look at my sink again. He fixed it for me at the beginning of the summer.”

“Yeah. He’s in his room. Passed out, I think.”

I failed at hiding my surprise. “He’s home?”

She scooped her car keys off the kitchen counter. “Got home about an hour ago. Bombed off his ass. He was swaying. I’m surprised he made it up the stairs. I have to get to work, but feel free to wake him up. Although, I doubt he’s in a condition to fix anything.”

“Ummm. Okay. Thanks. Maybe I’ll just check on him and make sure he’s okay.”

She smiled. “Such a mom.”

I waited downstairs until she got into her car and pulled out of the driveway, and then I went up to Ford’s bedroom. Sure enough, he was out cold. Face down, his arms and legs splayed wide across the bed, he held his cell phone in one of his hands.

I walked over and whispered, “Ford?”

He didn’t budge so I slipped the cell from his hand and pressed the side button. Dead. Well, at least that made me feel better about why he hadn’t called. I walked over to the end table and plugged it in for him, then sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him sleep.

“Bad day, sweetheart?” I brushed a piece of his hair from his face. “You’ve been quiet since you went to Chicago. Probably hard to visit the building you and your dad worked on together, huh? A lot of memories.”

Of course he didn’t answer. After watching him sleep for a little bit, I took off his shoes, got a bottle of water and a couple of Tylenol from the bathroom, and left his hangover helper at his bedside.

I leaned down and kissed his cheek gently. I felt a tightening in my chest as I realized in a few days I wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. God, I’m not ready for this to be over.

Chapter 25

* * *

Ford

My lungs burned, and I couldn’t catch my breath.

I wasn’t even sure where I was. I’d gotten up at the ass crack of dawn with a belligerent hangover. Tylenol and two bottles of water did nothing to ease the pounding in my head. I couldn’t even remember getting home. I remembered sitting at the airport bar, pounding vodka tonics and ordering more on the plane. After that, it was pretty much a blur. Somehow I’d managed to get on the right train and made it into my bed. On any other day, if I’d woken with this kind of killer headache, I’d have turned over and gone back to sleep.

But this morning, I needed to feel more pain. So I’d gone out for a run. And I’d run. And run. And kept on running. I’d run until I ran out of beach, then kept going—weaving my way through side streets and passing houses and blocks as fast as I could.

Finally, my legs gave out on me, and I fell.

So here I was, sitting in the middle of a park I’d never seen before, on some block I’d never been to, panting and bleeding from a scraped-open knee. My head still fucking hurt, but the burn in my lungs felt even better.

I sat with my elbows on my knees and my head dropped between them.

My fucking father is a cheater.

The man whose chair I sat in at work, whose daughter I’d raised for the last five years, whose relationship I’d thought was everything…the man who I’d looked up to since I could remember.

It fucking hurt. And I just couldn’t make sense of it.

Why?

Why?

My parents had seemed so in love. They didn’t fight. They didn’t have financial problems. They finished each other’s sentences, for Christ’s sake. As I sat there, stills of them played in my head like a slideshow on fast forward.

Them dancing on the deck.

Mom reading to Dad on the beach.

Him grabbing her ass, and her giggling when they thought no one was paying attention.

All the I love yous.

The Mason jars.

The two of them wrote things down they loved about each other and exchanged them as gifts.

Who the fuck does that if you aren’t in love?

And that was the part I couldn’t reconcile.

Even though I’d found out he’d had a long-term relationship with another woman, I still had no doubt he loved my mother. So if he loved my mother, why would he do it?

Why?

Why?

Why?

The only answer that made sense was the one his mistress had given me. They’d gotten married so young, neither of them knew a life without the other, and my father hit a certain age and started to have an identity crisis.

A midlife crisis.

It wasn’t fucking right.

That was for sure.

But it’s also what had happened in Valentina’s marriage.

Fuck.

I was pissed as hell at my father, but that wasn’t what had my chest feeling hollow at the moment.

Valentina had been right all along.

I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it.

She’d been with her husband since she was sixteen—the same age my parents got together.

I wanted her to choose to be with me, but how could she decide what she wanted when she didn’t even know what was out there.

***

Shit.

This morning I’d read Val’s texts from yesterday, so I knew her son Ryan was in town. But I had no idea what she’d told him. I assumed nothing. Yet I couldn’t be sure, so I played it close to the vest. The two of them were out on the back deck, leaning over the railing looking at the beach when I walked up on the sand—hours after I’d left for my run.

“Hey.” I lifted my chin up at them.

“What’s up, man? Long time no see.” Ryan smiled.

“Hey.” Valentina’s voice was laced with hesitance.

I figured it was a good sign that he didn’t run down the stairs and punch me in the face for banging his mother. But while Ryan seemed chipper and relaxed, Val looked anything but. Seeing the veins pop from her neck as she stressed made me smile for the first time in two days. Why did seeing her freak out about someone finding out about us bring me such joy? Perhaps I was just a dick.

I walked up the stairs to their deck instead of mine and shook Ryan’s hand. The last time I saw him, he was only fourteen. Now he was almost as tall as I was. “All grown up. I take it you’re not going to want me to make sandcastles with you this year?”

Ryan smiled. “I’ve moved on to searching for mermaids. Maybe we can go find some tail together later.”

My eyes flickered to Val and then back, and I coughed. “You’re at University of North Carolina, right? How do you like it?”

“It’s great. My first year was a blast.”

He looked over at his mom and his face fell serious. Shit. Maybe I’d misjudged the situation and she had told him.

“Listen…I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about your parents.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

The simple reminder of my father swept away any momentary levity that had crept in. My shoulders went back to holding boulders.

“I’m gonna head home to shower.” I glanced at Val and then nodded to Ryan. “Good to see you.”

When I got out of the shower, I wasn’t surprised to find a text from Val.

Valentina: Everything okay? I came by last night but you were out cold.

I hadn’t even known she’d been here. But my phone was charged and there had been water and Tylenol on the end table. That made sense now.

Ford: Sorry about that. Just a long trip. I hadn’t eaten and had a few.

Valentina: No problem. I figured the trip might have been difficult. :-(

You could say that again.

She typed more before I could respond.

Valentina: Ryan surprised me. I know it sort of puts a damper on us spending time together this last weekend…

Yesterday, I would have said her son showing up on the last weekend I had to convince her what we had was more than a fling was the universe conspiring to rip my heart out. But today, without my brain swimming in alcohol, I was starting to think maybe fate had intervened.