“Yes, I know,” I mumble.

“I also know that relationships are complicated,” Corrin continues speaking almost to herself rather than to me. “So, if you decide to take him back, you don't have to be embarrassed about admitting that fact to me. Maybe to other people, but not to me.”

“You think I should take him back?”

“No, absolutely not. I made that mistake with my husband, twice. I thought that he had learned his lesson. He had begged my forgiveness and then as soon as I let him move back in, he did it again. I just want you to know that just because I think that you should find someone new that doesn't mean that’s what you should do. You have to go with your heart and a little bit with your head.”

“I'm not going to take him back,” I say sternly.

“Okay,” Corrin says, nodding her head, but in her gaze, I realize that she does not believe me.

After I hang up, I stare at my phone for a long time thinking about the conversation that I just had.

I have never talked to Corrin like that.

Frankly, I had no idea that we could even have a conversation that honest.

It also threw me off a little bit that she had so little faith in my ability to keep true to myself.

Is she right? Will I take him back? Is all of this for nothing?

“No,” I say to myself, shaking my head.

Alex has hurt me and despite how much I may still love him, I'm not going to accept him treating me like that.

Then suddenly my blood runs cold.

That word, love, it just pops into my head.

Is that true?

Could I still love Alex?

No. I tap my fingers on the table. Alex has done something unforgivable and that means that I will never be able to forgive him.

But what about love? Do I still love him?

I think back to our relationship and to all of those times that he made me laugh until my stomach hurt.

I think back to all the fun that we had and all of the stories that we shared. I have told many other men before him that I have loved them, and perhaps I did, or at least I did at the time.

With Alex, things were different.

With Alex, I was certain that he was going to be my future.

I was certain that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and then one day all of those dreams and hopes were shattered.

The person that I loved is gone. Perhaps, he never existed anywhere except in my imagination.

It hasn't been that long and I know that I still miss him terribly and that I still have lingering feelings of love toward him because those kinds of feelings can’t just be erased in one moment.

But am I still in love with him?

No, I’m not.

I can't be because the man that I had devoted my life to and the man that I had promised to spend the rest of my life with never really existed.

He was a figment of my imagination.

The real man was a liar, a cheater, and someone who is a stranger to me now.

16

Emma

When I pull up to Liam's ranch, the butterflies in my stomach make my hands wrap tightly around the steering wheel. This is how I felt when I first got here, but it's also a little bit different.

The first time that I drove here I wasn't sure who I was going to meet.

This time, I'm not sure what is going to happen.

I arrive with a small suitcase and a backpack with all of my electronics. I wasn't sure what to pack so I decided to just take what is absolutely necessary.

A few changes of clothes, nothing fancy, and two pairs of shoes. I also packed a small makeup bag along with the hair straightener, which I rarely use.

Liam hears me pull up and his little dog, Skylar, runs up to greet me with a cacophony of barking.

I kneel down to pet her, but she continues to bark aggressively at me until he quiets her down.

A few moments later, she's rubbing her body against my ankle so that I will give her a pet.

The first time that I lay my eyes on him, my stomach does a somersault. His dark hair falls slightly in his face and he licks his lips and rubs his chiseled jaw in that casual manner that makes me want to get undressed right here, right now. Unfortunately, that's not what happens.

I walk up to give him a hug and instead of kissing me on the mouth, he simply turns his face to the side and kisses me on my cheek.

Immediately, something between us seems off. It's almost as if there is some sort of tension that didn't exist before and I have no idea why it suddenly appeared.

“Thanks for coming,” Liam says.

I give him a slight nod and let him take my suitcase. Instead of rolling it, he picks it up and carries it by the handle. It isn't particularly heavy, but he makes it seem like it weighs a pound.

He leads me through the large open living room and kitchen toward the back and shows me to my room.

I wasn't sure how this week was going to go but for some reason it never occurred to me that I was going to have a separate room.

He drops my suitcase on the floor and turns to face me.

“I thought that maybe you would want some privacy while you are here so I made this room up for you.”

The walls of the room are smooth and designed in the popular style of the Southwest. There's even an adobe-style fireplace in the corner. There's a large brightly colored tapestry hanging on one wall along with an oversized wooden bed made of thick logs which gives the room a rustic feel.

The floor is carpeted but also covered with a brightly colored woven rug of fuchsia and turquoise. It's a nice complement to the tapestry and gives me a calming feeling when I look at it.

On the far end, there is an enormous bay window with a wide tabletop made of wood with authentic knots. When I run my fingers over it, I find it smooth to the touch.

“This room is beautiful,” I say, admiring the towering lamp with the shade that looks like a layering of skirts.

It gives off a warm, almost candle type of light and he shows me how to use the dimmer to change the color from warm to cool to pink and practically any other color that I want.

“I'm glad you like it,” Liam says. “Well, I'll leave you alone so you can get situated. I got some takeout for dinner from this fabulous Indian place in town. I hope that's okay.”

I put my hand over my stomach and feel it rumble.

“That's an okay,” I say with a smile.

A few minutes later, after I unpack my suitcase and place most of the clothes into the empty dresser across from the bed, I walk back into the living room and see Liam pouring the takeout on colorful, Western-style plates.

“These are beautiful,” I say, running my finger over an empty one with an intricate yet abstract design of a woman making tacos.

“I got them at a flea market not far from here. This old man was selling them and he had a few people lining up to make offers. I actually wasn't sure what everyone was offering to pay and made a kind of lowball offer, but I guess he could see that I really wanted them so he gave them to me.”

“Wow, that's awesome,” I say. “I actually love going to the markets.”

“Yes, me, too.”

“Have you ever been to the one in the Rose Bowl? It's a huge flea market they have every Sunday in Pasadena in the parking lot of the Rose Bowl stadium.”

“Yes, I have. More than once. It's pretty cool, but I actually have found more interesting things down in Long Beach.”