I nod. While Reina changed toward me, she never treated Ari differently. She took care of her and stopped other students from bullying her.

And for that, I’m grateful.

“Over time…” She trails off then blurts, “The brightness intensified.”

“Right.”

“You don’t understand?” She peeks at me.

My brows furrow. “Understand what?”

“I love Rei.”

“I know you do.”

“No, not that type of love. I’m in love with her, Gray—romantically. Like I can’t live without her.”

I remain still as if someone spilled a bucket of ice water over my head.

In love with her.

Romantically.

What in the ever-loving fuck?

Ari goes back to clinking her nails manically. “You…you said you wouldn’t judge me.”

Fuck.

My pulse rises as if I’m coming down from an adrenaline high.

Am I surprised my baby sister prefers girls? Sure, a little, but I’m not judging her for that.

Not at all.

If she thinks she’s better with a girl, so be it. It’s her life.

But why the fuck does it have to be Reina?

Just why?

“Do you…do you hate me?” Her voice turns brittle. “Please don’t hate me. I’m so sorry, Gray. I didn’t mean to be like this and…”

“Hey.” I take her hands in mine, forcing my face muscles to stop clenching. “I’ll never hate you, Ari. You’re my baby sister. I’ll love you until you’re old and gray.”

“You’re okay with what I just said?”

“Sure,” I manage to say. “It’s up to Reina to decide.”

“You think I should confess?” Her eyes regain some of their brightness.

“Do as you like, Ari.”

I just hope Reina will turn her down gently. She usually has a good motherly instinct with her.

And I’m sure Reina won’t accept. She’s never showed interest in the same sex, and while she resisted me, she wasn’t always immune to my touch. I always noticed how her skin heated and her body struggled so she wouldn’t melt against mine.

Maybe that’s why it pisses me the fuck off that she always pushed me away.

When Ari realizes she has no future with Reina, her infatuation will wither away.

“Thanks, Gray!” She throws her arms around my neck in a hug. “You’re the best brother in the world.”

No, I’m the worst.

Because I don’t want to share Reina.

Not even with my sister.

It’s been a week since I moved back into my apartment—or rather, since Asher and I moved in together.

He brought his clothes and laptop and has taken up space in my closet without asking for permission.

Not that I want him to.

Honestly, I don’t think I could’ve done this without him. Being on my own scares me more than I’d like to admit. That’s when the gloomy cloud strikes, filling my head with all those somber thoughts.

I listen to Lucy and Prescott’s discussion about some moves the coach has added to our routine. They’re bickering, and while it’s adorable to watch, my mind isn’t with them.

It keeps wandering back to Reina. While Alex promised he’ll let me know as soon as his insider gets in touch, I’m still antsy.

I have to repeat to myself that Reina is stronger than me. She survived this long in the midst of monsters. Surely she can keep doing it.

Aside from my sister, something else keeps occupying my mind.

Asher.

He’s been acting strange, to say the least.

Every day, he cooks me dinner, nothing fancy, but it’s always delicious and he usually feeds me, making me suck his thumb after. Then he joins me in the shower and orders me to take him in my mouth before he empties down my throat or on my breasts.

After that, he carries me to my bedroom in his strong arms and eats me out or finger-fucks me. Other times, our sexual encounters end up in a sixty-nine. Yesterday, he fucked my tits, making me grab them as his length thrust mercilessly between them. While doing that, he ordered me to open my mouth so his cock hit my tongue with every thrust. I can still taste his cum all over my lips as he came with a harsh grunt.

I haven’t been as turned on as I was last night in my entire life, so when he fingered me, I came in seconds.

Then…the end. I kid you not, he stopped as soon as I orgasmed, just as he does every night.

Oral sex is the only thing we’ve done.

Asher has never gone all the way with me or attempted to.

While he sleeps beside me, he always disappears before I wake up, and I find him in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

What is all of that supposed to mean?

He can’t possibly not want me, because he gets so hard the moment we’re done. He also watches me like he wants to fuck me in the most ruthless way possible, like he wants to choke me and cum inside me.

However, he’s not acting on it.

Seriously, if he continues stimulating my body in that unapologetic, wild way, I’ll end up begging him to fuck me already.

For some reason, I don’t think that’ll work with him, though.

Asher has impressive self-restraint, which is all part of his intense dominance. He thrives on control and applies it to himself as well. It’s nearly impossible to bust his walls down unless he leaves some sort of opening.

Eye for an eye.

Those words he told me keep bouncing in my head. Revenge, or rather justice. That’s what they mean, right?

Whenever I touch his tattoo, he closes off completely. He might still sleep beside me, but he turns stone-cold, like the Asher I met when I first opened my eyes at the hospital.

He’s here beside me, but sometimes, he’s not. A burst of loneliness hits me whenever he cuts me off and disappears inside his black castle with high towers and metal gates.

My chest constricts at the thought that he might never forgive me.

Every castle has an opening; I just need to search closer to find it.

I need to figure out what he thinks I did and fix it somehow—or at least hope it’s fixable.

Because I don’t want to have parts of Asher while he keeps the others hidden.

I want the light and the darkness. The sanity and the madness. The beauty and the ugliness.

I want everything.

Just like I need him to accept me whole.

With a smile, I tell Lucy and Prescott to tell me about their decision after lunch, then I leave them alone.

Fine, I might have started helping Prescott in his quest with Lucy. She’s obviously interested in him, but she’s always backed off, thinking he had eyes for Bree.

Speaking of which, I make my way down the hall. I don’t bother with greeting the students who laugh in my face and write nasty comments on that shady Instagram account.

I don’t owe them anything. If they don’t like me, get in freaking line and stop being hypocrites.

Bree grabs her books, lowering her head. Since she was kicked off the cheerleading squad last week, she’s been the latest gossip around campus.

Naomi made it clear Bree’s not welcome to sit at our table at lunch, and everyone else on the squad has been steering clear of her.

Blackwood-Black-Book posts about her more than me now.