“That what’s on your desk?”

Jus looks over his shoulder at the blue composition book with Dear Martin in the white space. “Yeah.”

Doc nods. “Go on.”

“Well, it was going fine, I guess, but then…Remember how I told you my dad passed when I was eleven?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, he had PTSD from the military and was an alcoholic. When he was alive, he would drink too much and go into these rages, and he, umm…well, he would hit my mom.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Jus.”

Jus shrugs. “Was what it was. I caught a glimpse of his eyes one time—there was nothing in them. It was almost like he wasn’t even in his body, like his fists and feet were on autopilot and his brain had checked out.”

Doc nods.

“I think something like that happened last night. I remember being pissed about some stuff in Blake’s basement, and then he came over to me and Manny and said something that just pushed me over the edge. Words were exchanged, and then the next thing I remember, my hand was killing me, and Blake and Jared were getting up from the floor.”

“I see.”

“Yeah.” Jus chuckles. “I feel like I shouldn’t be tellin’ you this because it’s gonna get me expelled.”

“Sounds to me like you’re ‘taking responsibility.’ That’s tenet four of the B-Prep honor code, isn’t it?” Doc grins.

“I guess it is. Anyway, it’s scary to think about now. The last person I ever wanna be like is my dad. Dude died in a fiery car crash with a blood-alcohol level of point two five. But last night I was just like him. I swear I’m never drinking again, man.”

Doc laughs. “That’s a good start.”

“And then Manny…” Jus shakes his head. “I just don’t get why he puts up with those assholes—” He looks up. “Oh. Sorry.”

Doc smiles. “It’s okay. We’re in your domain. You were saying?”

“I know it’s dumb, but when I hear him agree with those guys on stuff he has to know is wrong…I dunno, Doc.”

Doc doesn’t respond.

“Pretty sure I called him a sellout,” Jus says. “Right now, I’m still so mad at him, I don’t even feel bad about it. I know he probably wasn’t trying to take their side last night, but for him to get on me after the stuff Blake and Jared said? It’s like he doesn’t even care that they’re disrespecting him. Or me.”

Doc nods. “Mind if I play devil’s advocate for a sec? Don’t want to dismiss your sentiments, just wanna give you a little perspective.”

“Okay.”

“So I grew up like Manny. Until I hit the tenth grade and transferred to a magnet academy in the city, I was the only person of color at my school. You remember how it felt to realize you only have so much control over how people see you?”

“How could I forget?” Jus rubs his wrists.

“That’s what it was like for me at the new school. Everybody saw me as black, even with the light skin and green eyes. The black kids expected me to know all the cultural references and slang, and the white kids expected me to ‘act’ black. It was a rude awakening for me. When you spend your whole life being ‘accepted’ by white people, it’s easy to ignore history and hard to face stuff that’s still problematic, you feel me?”

“I guess.”

“And as for you, the only way you’re gonna thrive is if you’re okay with yourself, man. People are gonna disrespect you, but so what? Guys like Jared don’t have any bearing on how far you get in life. If you know the stuff they’re saying isn’t true, why let it bother you?”

Jus shakes his head. “I respect what you’re saying, but it’s not that simple.”

“Go on.”

“It’s frustrating, man! When you work hard and earn your way, and people suggest you haven’t and you’re not worthy, that shit hurts, Doc.”

“Course it does, Jus. But who are you doing it for? Them? Or you?”

Jus puts his head in his hands.

“Another quick story,” Doc says. “In grad school, I had this massive ’fro. Usually wore it in cornrows. I’ll never forget the way my doctoral advisor frowned when I stepped into his office for the first time. Throughout my entire PhD candidacy, he was hypercritical of my work. Told me to my face I’d never succeed. Jus, if I’d listened to him, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you.”

Justyce sighs.

“I’ll let you get some rest,” Doc says, rising from the bed. He puts another bottle of Gatorade and a ziplock bag with two pills in it on the bedside table. “Got you some ibuprofen from the infirmary. Try to stay hydrated, all right?”

Justyce nods. “Thanks for coming by to check on me, Doc.”

“Anytime, my man.” Doc shakes Jus’s shoulder.

As Doc pulls his bag strap across his chest and turns to leave, Justyce glances over at his phone. Remembers all the missed calls and messages—and the lack thereof from a certain former debate partner.

“Doc, let me ask you something.”

Doc turns and sticks his hands in his pockets. “Shoot.”

“Do you…uhh…” Am I really about to ask this? “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well…” What exactly is he supposed to say?

“This about SJ?” Doc says.

Justyce’s eyebrows lift.

Doc laughs. “You think I didn’t notice the change between you two?”

“It sucks, Doc.” Jus drops his chin.

“She’ll come around. Get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah. All right.”

Jus gets up and goes over to fall on the bed as Doc pulls the door open.

He’s asleep before he hears it click shut.

On Tuesday, Manny and Jared are both missing from Societal Evolution.

Lunch too. Justyce sees Tyler, Kyle, and Blake—who scowls at Jus but keeps his distance—huddled around a table in the senior lounge, whispering.

As the day goes on, there’s an ever-increasing buzz, though Justyce never catches what people are murmuring because they go quiet whenever he gets too close. So when he’s walking to the dorm after classes are over and he sees the bros huddled around Jared’s car without Manny, he knows something is up.

Especially when Jared turns to give Jus the evil eye, and Jus sees his face.

Now, Jus knows he and Jared came to blows, but could he have caused that much damage? Dude looks like half his mug got attacked by a swarm of angry hornets.

When he gets back to his room, Justyce does the unthinkable: he calls Manny.

Of course the guy doesn’t answer.

There’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” Jus says, dropping down into his desk chair. As he pulls out his notebook to skim the letter he wrote Martin after Blake’s party, he hears the door open and close before the bedsprings squeak.

When he turns around, he almost falls out of the chair. “Dawg!”

Manny is stretched out on Justyce’s bed with his hands tucked behind his head. His left hand is all taped up, and it appears one of Jared’s hornets got him in the upper lip.