Dear Martin Page 18

“Whoa,” Jus says.

Manny just stares at the ceiling.

Something pops into Jus’s head: Manny pushing open the passenger door of the Range Rover and telling him to get in.

“Hey, man, I—”

“Save it. I know you didn’t mean it.”

Mmmm…“Actually, I did,” Jus says.

Manny shifts his attention to Jus and lifts his eyebrows.

“I just didn’t really consider the bigger picture,” Jus says. “That’s what I’m apologizing for. Not putting myself in your shoes or whatever.”

Manny turns back to the ceiling. “I didn’t really have your best interests in mind either, so let’s call it even and move on.”

Jus nods. “Cool.”

After about half a minute, the silence gets awkward. Jus cracks his knuckles. “So what happened to your lip?”

“I woke up.”

“Okay…” Jus decides to take a page from Doc’s book: “Care to expound a bit?”

Manny smiles but then grimaces in pain. After a few seconds, he sits up and turns to face Justyce. “You know why I couldn’t really get mad about what you said? You were right. I knew you were right the moment the words came outta your mouth.”

“Oh,” Jus says.

“Saturday night, I went to a festival with those clowns. Four times, man—four—I had to grit my teeth to keep from knocking Jared’s punk ass out. Every time he made fun of somebody, it was like sandpaper being dragged over my eardrums.”

“Dang.”

“When we saw this black lady with four kids, and this fool called her Shaniqua and made a joke about baby daddies, I couldn’t take any more, Jus. I called him on it, and he rolled his eyes. Told me to ‘stop being so fucking sensitive.’ ”

Jus doesn’t say anything.

“All day Sunday, I sat in my basement, just fuming. I think I listened to Deuce Diggs and played Medal of Honor for like six hours straight. The whole time, all I could think about was how I said the same thing to you. How right you were. How good of a friend you’ve been—”

“All right with all that soft stuff, Manny.”

“I’m serious, Jus. Them fools don’t wanna hear when they’re being offensive. They couldn’t care less what it’s like to live in our skin. Those assholes aren’t my damn friends.”

Jus doesn’t know what to say.

Wait, yes he does. “So, umm…” He gestures to Manny’s wrapped hand and busted lip. “Those?”

Manny smiles. “This morning I went in to tell Coach I quit—”

“Huh?”

“Dawg, I hate playin’ basketball. Only reason I started is cuz when you’re the tall black kid at school, that’s what people expect you to do. Yeah, I happen to be pretty good at it, but it’s really not my thing.”

“Okay, then.”

“Anyway, Jared was in Coach’s office. When I said I was quitting, he made a ‘joke’ about how I couldn’t until Massah set me free. I lost it.” Manny falls back on the bed. “He clipped me once, but I can’t even tell you how good it felt to pound that dude. Coach wanted to keep it on the low cuz he needs Jared to play in tomorrow’s game, so he sent me home and made Jared stay in his office till school let out.”

“Well, damn.”

Manny sits back up. “I just wanna thank you, man.”

“For what?”

“For helping me get my eyes open. Didn’t like what I saw, so I wanted to shut ’em again, but if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t know some of the stuff I’ve always felt around those guys is legit.”

“Okay…You’re welcome, I guess?”

Manny stands and opens his arms. “Bring it in, fella.”

“What?”

“Man, getcho ass up and give ya boy a hug.”

“You really creep me out sometimes, Manny,” Jus says, complying.

 

 

January 23

I’ve got a lot on my mind, Martin.

Last night, Manny’s dad came down to the basement. In almost four years of hanging out at the Riverses’ house, I’ve never seen Mr. Julian in Manny’s “sacred space,” as he calls it, so when he dropped down between us on the sofa, it felt like a bomb was about to go off.

For a good three minutes, it was dead silent. Then Mr. Julian sighed. “I wanna talk to you boys,” he said.

I gulped, and glanced at Manny behind Mr. Julian’s head. He looked hella nervous too. “Uhh…sure, Dad.”

Mr. Julian nodded. “Today I overheard an employee refer to me by a racial slur.”

“For real?” I said.

“Yep. White kid, few years post-undergrad. I hired him three months ago.”

Manny looked pissed. “What’d he call you?”

“Doesn’t matter, son. Point is, it reminded me of your recent run-in with Jared. I spent the rest of the day wondering if you being in that situation was my fault.”

“Huh? How the heck could it be your fault, Dad?”

(I was wondering the same thing, Martin.)

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you, Emmanuel,” Mr. Julian said. “Not sure if I was trying to shield you or if I hoped things were better, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about since Justyce was unfairly arrested.” He turned to me. “The whole incident came as a shock, right?”

“Yeah. It did.”

“When that happened, I kept thinking: What if that had been you, Emmanuel? I know you would’ve been downright mind-blown…but I wouldn’t’ve.” He shook his head. “That didn’t sit right with me because as your father, it’s something I should’ve prepared you for, son. And Jared saying what he said? I should’ve prepared you for that too.”

“No offense, Mr. Julian,” I said, “but my mama’s been ‘preparing’ me for as long as I can remember. I was still caught off guard.”

“You were surprised by what Jared said to Manny?”

“Oh. Uhh…not really,” I said.

“Exactly. That’s what I’m talking about. I wasn’t surprised to hear that kid at the office today say what he said. There’s no predicting people’s actions, but you can be prepared to face certain attitudes. Perhaps if I’d been more open with my own experiences, Jared’s words wouldn’t have been so astonishing to Manny.”

Neither of us responded.

“Both of you know what I do for a living,” he went on, “but very few know my struggle to get there. It took me four years longer than average to secure my position because I was continuously overlooked for promotions. I worked much harder than many of my Caucasian colleagues but rarely received a fraction of the recognition.”

Again, we kept quiet.

“There are still people in that office who refuse to look me in the eye, fellas. They’ll show cursory respect for the sake of keeping their jobs, but a good majority of my subordinates resent having to answer to a black man. I was reminded of that today.”

“You fired that guy, right?” Manny asked.

Mr. Julian shook his head. “It’s not the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last. This is what I mean by preparation.”

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